


Be Like The Cool Kids

by Darcylovette



Series: Be Like The Cool Kids [1]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - High School, Deceit is an asshole don't trust him, Drama & Romance, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Romance, Love Triangles, M/M, Prinxiety - Freeform, Romance, Slow Burn, Teen Romance, Verbal Abuse, analogical - Freeform, logicality - Freeform, yeah deceit is the worst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-16 08:38:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 66,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13632705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darcylovette/pseuds/Darcylovette
Summary: Virgil's life is about to be changed forever.His first day at Sanders Academy - his new beginning - is already off to a weird start.He meets his roommate, Patton - a bubbly, cheerful goofball with a heart of gold.Patton's friends - Logan and Roman. One is a stoic, bookish nerd with a bad temper, the other is a egotistical theatre student, who adores all things musical and romantic.Virgil is offered the chance to be in with the group, and get to know these unusual guys better... but his anxious nature leads him to fall into the wrong crowd...





	1. New Home

**Author's Note:**

> Imagine a High School AU with some Host Club-esque romance thrown in. That's what I want this to be. How will Virgil choose between these two delightful chaps when a certain hat-wearing asshole is sabotaging his social life from the side... (note, there will be no smut in this)

Be Like The Cool Kids

 

A car, covered in dents and stains, was slowing down to a gentle crawl. A faceless man sitting in the driver’s seat, a bundle of purple and black hunched in the back.

The man was speaking.

The bundle in the backseat wasn’t listening. His headphones were too big for his head, his music too loud. The man began to shout. The bundle winced and pulled them to his shoulders.

“What?” 

“I said _‘we’re nearly here’_ , idiot!” barked the man in the driver’s seat, his red knuckles whitening against the wheel, “Turn that god-awful noise down, you deaf moron.”

Virgil, the bundle, felt his lower lip trembling outwards. He sucked it between his teeth, “Sorry.”

This only seemed to irritate the man more, “Sorry… sorry… enough with the _sorry_. Grow a backbone, already!” the more his voice rose, the more Virgil sunk down behind his knees, “God… stupid kid… they’re gonna skin you alive…”

 

The car, covered in dents and stains, finally came to a stop. The faceless man sitting in the driver’s seat barked an instruction, and the bundle in the backseat climbed out. He grabbed a grey, patchy duffle bag from the trunk. Before the trunk was fully closed, the car and the faceless man had taken off. Virgil was standing, quite alone, by the side of the road – duffle bag at his feet, hands inside his pockets, watching the car grow smaller and smaller.

_It looks like rain._

Clicking his tongue, Virgil picked up the bag and threw it over his shoulder, readjusting the headphones over his ears. He swiped through the playlists on his phone – he thought about how he needed to stop biting his nails.

Settling on a song, he set off down the road. After about ten minutes of walking, he realized he’d been dropped off nowhere near the main gates.

He was going to be late.

 

**_The Sanders Academy of Higher Education, Arts, and Technology_ **

Looks like they couldn’t decide on a specialisation.

The main building looked like it was once a castle, but whitewashed again and again and again over hundreds of years. Which was impossible, of course. Rose-gold walls, each window framed with blue. It was something out of a modern Disney movie – Virgil already felt out of place. Even the grass was greener here, dotted with pink cherry-blossom trees. The pathways were so clean Virgil felt bad having to walk on them.

He hovered at the gate for a little while longer. Once he stepped through them… this was it. This building would be his _home_. He grimaced at the word – as if it were dirty, an insult.

_Home._

Virgil thought about throwing down his bag and leaning against the walls, turning his music up as high as it would go, and resting his eyes for a couple hours. The temptation to escape from reality was never a monster Virgil could face easily; not when you lived in _his_ reality. But a clap of thunder sent a jolt down his spine, lurching him forward and through the ivy-coiled gates.

It was clear from the look on the receptionist’s face that this was the first time she’d seen a boy with such heavy eye-makeup. Not disgusted or appalled, per say, but rather… taken aback. Virgil had that effect on people.

“You missed orienteering,” she turned her gaze to the book on her desk, scratching off Virgil’s name, “you’d better take a map. Campus is pretty big, easy to get lost in. But that don’t mean tardiness won’t earn you a penalty.”

“Penalty?” Virgil echoed.

The receptionist sighed, removing her glasses, “Yes, a penalty. Every time you misbehave, break the rules, or show up late to class… that’s a penalty against your name. You can remove penalties from your record by improving your grades, helping the staff,” she sounded so bored it was hard to pay attention, “being early, yadda yadda yadda… you’d know all this if you’d _been on time._ ”

“Great, got it.” Virgil nodded, wishing she would stop talking, “Just… tell me where to go?”

She looked down at the book again, “You’re in… room 27B. Eighth floor of the dormitories. Your roommate should be waiting for you, so… maybe knock before going in.”

Virgil stiffened – _oh god, what kind of roommate was he?_

The receptionist glowered, “Hey now, you know what teenage boys are like. Disgusting things.”

Well, she wasn’t wrong.

“Go on, get.” She waved her hand as if swatting a fly, “You’re late enough as is – you miss dinner then you don’t eat, sweetheart.”

“Fine.” Virgil grabbed a map and stuffed it in his pocket, looking around for any signs of an elevator.

The receptionist looked amused, “Honey… I know that look. Better get used to walking. Back in my days we didn’t have elevators in schools. You climbed those stairs and you liked it – ‘cept those who couldn’t walk. But I took Timmy No-Legs on my shoulders and I marched that boy up seventeen flights of stairs! Whether he asked me to or not! Those were the days, son…”

Virgil wanted to curl up into a ball. Without an elevator, the eighth floor may as well have been the eight-hundredth.

 

**_27B._ **

Virgil hung outside the door for several long, panting, sweaty minutes. He could feel his face burning red, and this wasn’t how he wanted to make a good first impression. Was it even possible for someone like Virgil to make a good first impression? A pale boy, drowning in an oversized black and purple hoodie, with dark eyeshadow and a darker glare? He actually felt bad for the poor guy stuck with him.

He reached for the handle.

He pulled his hand back.

He thought for a moment… and, wincing, knocked a few times.

“Come on in!” came a muffled call behind the door. Ugh, he sounded cheerful.

Virgil pushed open the door.

The owner of the voice looked as cheery as he sounds. Clad in a bright blue polo shirt, with a grey sweater tied around his waist, smiling wide beneath a pair of thick, rectangular glasses. His cheeks were flushed, and his eyes were shining, fists against his hips like he was posing for a picture.

“Well, hello!” he cried, hurrying Virgil inside, “come in, come in! You must be freezing, some weather we’re having, huh?”

_Oh no. Small talk._

“Yep.” Virgil remarked, a little afraid by the sheer positive energy surrounding this guy, “It’s cold.”

“Haha, well, _ice_ to meet you!” he held out a hand, “I’m Patton! Your new roomie, roomie!”

_No, not puns. Anything but puns._

“Hey.”

“So, you must be V?”

Virgil let go of his hand, “Sorry..?”

“Well, I only got your first initial! Do you go by V? Very _mysterious_ , huh?”

“Uuh…”

_‘Hey, Virgie! Where you going, Virgie?’_

_‘What’s wrong, Virgin?’_

_~Virgie the Virgin! Virgie the Virgin! Virgie the Virgin~_

“… Sure.”

“Haha, awesome!” Patton was practically bouncing, shakily brushing hair from his face, “I’m really happy to meet you!”

Virgil moved towards the bed, casting his eyes over Patton’s side of the room. The wall was covered in polaroid’s of Patton smiling, surrounded by other smiling people. They must be his friends and family – yep, each photo had a message beneath written in sharpie.

_Best Friends Forever_

_Summer Break <3_

_Christmas Morning_

_Fam – Ily_

It was sweet. There were even stickers of hearts, stars, rainbows, and dogs in the corners of each photo.

There were two people amongst them who stood out – most of the photographs seemed to feature them. A guy in a black shirt and blue tie, with glasses like Patton’s and hair neatly combed. Virgil wondered whether he was one of the teachers – he certainly looked a little uncomfortable having his photo taken.

The other, always posing dramatically and smiling wide, wore white shirts with red and gold patterns sewn into the shoulders. His hair, perfectly quiffed, had that windswept look in each photo – was it possible they were all taken during windy weather? Why did he look so much like a fashion model in each photo? Even in the one labelled ‘ _Birthday Paintballing_ ’ he looked handsome covered in paint and dirt.

 _Handsome?_ Virgil cringed. _Who am I?_

“Oh!” Patton caught him looking, “You don’t think there’s too many, right? I wanted to bring a few with me but… I couldn’t decide, so I brought them all!” he laughed nervously, hands clasped together, “Hey, you’re new here so… you probably don’t know anyone yet, right?”

Virgil knew where he was going with this, “… No.”

“Well, that’s terrible! Being the new guy can be really hard, can’t it? I didn’t know anyone when I first came here… man, those were the loneliest thirty minutes of my life. But then I met these guys,” he pointed at the paintballing photo, “they’re my best friends in the world. This is Logan,” he tapped the smart-looking one, “he’s brilliant. He knows all about math, science, books! He can seem a bit grumpy, like, all the time, but he’s a really good guy! And this,” he tapped the Abercrombie and Fitch model, “is Roman! He’s in the drama club, the art club, and he speaks fluent Spanish! Do you like drama?”

“Not really.”

“Oh. Art?”

“Sort of. Not painting. Just… I doodle sometime-”

Patton’s face lit up, “Really? Me too! Can you show me something you’ve drawn?”

Virgil felt his chest tighten, “No… I, um, don’t have anything on me… I don’t keep them.”

“Well, shucks.” Patton shrugged, “Well, I bet they’re amazing!”

_What’s wrong with this guy? Was he raised by puppies? Does he fart rainbows? Is he capable of a single bad thought about anyone?_

“Thanks.”

The bright blue clock on Patton’s bedside table let out a sharp beep, which started Virgil. His hands clutched the sheets of his bed.

Patton hadn’t noticed, “Oh, shoot, dinner time!” he hurried to the door and slipped on his shoes, “You coming? You must be starving!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Virgil nodded, trying to steady his breathing, “I’ll be down soon. I need to change.”

“Well I think you look great, but you take your time!” Patton smiled wide, “Hey, you should come and join my table! You can meet Roman and Logan! I know they’d love to meet you!”

Virgil’s eyes fell back to the paintballing photo. They looked so happy together – they were so different from each other, yet the way they smiled and held onto each other’s shoulders…

“… I’ll see you there.”

Patton jumped, “Great! See you soon, new friend!”

With that, he was out the door. The room felt quieter without him.

Virgil threw the duffle bag onto his bed, yanking open the zip. He changed his shirt and pulled on his hoodie, wondering if he should reapply his eyeshadow. The wall by his bed felt so empty and bare – he didn’t mind, but Patton’s wall right next to it just made it look… awkward. But there was a problem; Virgil didn’t have photos of friends or family. He had a few posters and sketches he’d done in middle school… would that only make it more depressing?

They could not have matched him with a worse roommate.

Patton deserved someone happier. Friendlier.

Someone… _not_ _Virgil_.

 

The dining hall was surprisingly regal – like something out of Harry Potter, and Virgil was so upset that he’d know that. Rows and rows of oaken tables, each surrounded by eating, talking, laughing students. The food looked delicious.

It didn’t take Virgil long to spot Patton – the guy radiated sunshine like a spotlight. Virgil recognised the other two from the photos.

Logan had a book in one hand and a fork in the other, hovering over a plate of vegetables. He looked up occasionally to speak, or roll his eyes at one of the others, then returned to his reading. Roman looked like he was telling an incredibly dramatic story, his arms moving animatedly. Patton was listening with wide eyes, clapping when he finished.

It was crazy, seeing them all together.

They looked so… right. The three of them were right together. Virgil was only looking in, but even he could tell. They were parts of a whole – each bringing something new to the table… literally and figuratively.

How the hell was Virgil supposed to fit into this?

_Increased heart rate. Rapid breathing. Eyes glaring at the new guy. Judgement. Awkward silences. Sitting down at the table. Chair creaking. Silence. Too quiet. Laughing. Laughing at him. Laughing when he left. Jokes. Mean jokes. Bad jokes. Jokes that haunt his sleep. Jokes that echo down the corridor everywhere he went._

Virgil tried to take a step forward.

_Sideways glances. Eyebrows crooked. Laughing. What’s wrong with him? Why did you invite him? I hate that guy. Who invited that guy? Joke. All a joke. Practical joke. Laughing. Staring. Weird. Weird guy. Bad guy. Bad guy. Skinned alive._

Virgil couldn’t move.

He took one last look at Patton, who was watching Logan read with his chin in his palms.

“Sorry…” he whispered, before turning and walking away.

The laughed and chatter from the dining hall echoed around him, growing softer and softer with every step. But the noise in Virgil’s head only grew and grew, pounding against his ears. Too loud. Too much. He had to get out. Escape. Run. Flight. He tried to breathe, but he couldn’t breathe. The pounding was too fast – his chest was going to explode. He was going to die.

He covered his ears with his hands, eyes squeezed shut. Block it out. Not real. Remember that it’s not real. Maybe go back?

 

_Slam._

 

“Hey!!”

Virgil had collided with something tall, which sent him flying back onto the floor, almost smacking his head on the hardwood panels. He cried out, slapping his hands against the floor in an attempt to get back up. But it was too slippery – they really kept this place clean.

“That hurt, you know.” Said a voice from above. Virgil blinked, looking up. A guy was standing over him; his smooth hair covered by a smart, black hat. The sleeves of his white button-up were rolled to his elbows, his black jeans free of wrinkles and stains. The tall man had extended a hand to Virgil; his fingers long and slender, one sporting a gold band.

Virgil stared at the ring, it was… oddly beautiful.

“Take it.” He sighed, gesturing the hand closer to Virgil, “What, are you stupid?”

“Oh,” Virgil took the hand, the guy pulled him to his feet, almost effortlessly. Virgil’s head spun a little, “thanks.” He looked closer at the guy’s face – he had a scale-like tattoo surrounding one eye, which was covered by a yellow contact. Everything about him seemed to scream “ _I’m in the mafia, in the 1930’s, in a New Yorker comic strip”_.

He was staring at Virgil with a curious expression, one finger tapping against his chin. Was he amused? Annoyed? He did just walk into him, after all.

“New guy.” He mused, his eyes scanning over Virgil’s face. “Yeah… where you going, new guy?” his voice was deep and silky, choosing his words slowly and carefully.

“Just going for a walk…” muttered Virgil, trying not to stare at the tattoo on his face, or the unnaturally yellow eye.

“Sure you were, sure…” his voice dropped to a purr, taking a step forward, “mhm… where we you _really_ going?”

Virgil could only stare at the guy’s shoes, “… I just wanted to get away from everyone. I panicked and I wanted to… escape.”

He waited for the guy to laugh, but he didn’t. He didn’t say anything for a while.

“Poor thing… you did the right thing.”

Virgil blinked, “Y-yeah?”

“Yeah. Guys like you and me… we don’t fit in with those other losers. Look at you,” he ran a finger softly against Virgil’s purple fringe, “yeah… you don’t belong here. Those guys would never understand you – they’d laugh at you, judge you, make jokes behind your back. It’s not your fault, you’re just… too different.”

Virgil bit down on his lower lip, “… Oh…” so, he was right. He was right to get out when he did, “well, thanks for being honest.”

“Of course,” the guy’s hand rested on Virgil’s shoulder, “I wouldn’t lie to you, unlike those phonies back there. Guys like you and me? We don’t follow their rules. We’re authentic. Look at this,” his free hand traced the outlines of Virgil’s eyeshadow with his fingers, “you’re different. I like different.”

Virgil could barely form a coherent thought – something about the way the guy spoke filled his head with fog, “You do?”

“Yes. Very much.” Virgil could see the man was grinning, “Do you want to come with me for a while? I can take you somewhere nice and safe.”

“… Wuh-why would you do that for me?”

“Because I like you.”

Virgil felt his face burning, “Oh… um… what?”

The guy laughed, stepping away, “Come on.” He held out a hand, “It’s okay. You can trust me.”

_Trust._

“I, um… I should go back to my r-”

The guy grabbed Virgil’s wrist, pulling him closer, “Trust me. Come on.”

“O-okay…” Virgil stammered as he was guided down the corridor, “where are we going?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

 

 “You can trust me.”


	2. Trust Me

“Are you sure no one will find us here?”

“Of course. You’re safe with me.”

Virgil had been led to a secluded part of the school, behind the sports hall. They were leaning against the wall, obscured by boxes of old equipment. The sun had set, the only light was the burning cherry of the other’s cigarette. Virgil hated the smell of smoke, but he didn’t say anything. He pulled his knees to his chest, pulling his hood over his head. He felt so small next to this guy – he was so tall, confidence practically dripping from him. What did he see in Virgil? What was going on?

“Do you want to know my name?” asked the man, taking a long drag from his cigarette.

“… Yeah?”

“Deceit. It’s French – my parents are quite old fashioned.” He shuffled closer to Virgil, who’s arms were shaking from the cold, “and your name?”

“Um…” Virgil couldn’t catch his breath, flashback after flashback ran through his mind, “V. I go by V.”

Deceit chuckled, “I didn’t ask that. I asked for your name.” his fingers traced little circles on Virgil’s hand, “Tell. Me. Your. Name.”

The fog was back, “… Virgil. M-My name is Virgil.”

“… Good boy.” Smirked Deceit, his fingers retreating back to his lap, “I don’t want you to hide anything from me. From now on, you only tell me the truth. Otherwise, how can I help you?”

Virgil stuck his hands back in his pockets, “Help? How? Why?”

Deceit had taken another drag before leaning in, their faces just _inches_ away.

Virgil felt his lips part in surprise, his heart pounding in his ears.

_Is he going to kiss me? Is he about to kiss me? What do I do? Do I want this? Do I want him to kiss me?_

Deceit smiled, and began to gently blow smoke against Virgil’s lips, forcing his eyes closed. He chuckled, “Because you interest me, Virgil. You’re very interesting, has anyone ever told you that?”

Virgil felt lightheaded, “N-no… no one…”

Deceit tutted, “Too bad. Nobody understands you. You’ve been so lonely, haven’t you?”

“Yes…”

Deceit’s fingers were touching Virgil’s chin. He was so close.

“You won’t be lonely anymore. Now you have me. I’m going to take care of you from now on. Doesn’t that sound good?”

“O-oh… y-yeah… thank you…”

Deceit hummed, moving his thumb along Virgil’s jaw, “Good. Nobody is going to bother you while you’re with me – I want to protect you.” His eyes closed. Virgil, his body trembling against the others, closed his as well.

_That’s what you do, right? This is what you’re supposed to do?_

Virgil kept very still as the feeling of Deceit’s lips brushed against the corner of his mouth. But then… he pulled away, fingers still touching Virgil’s chin. He blinked his eyes open, seeing Deceit smiling down at him.

“Don’t worry.” His hands moved to his hair, “You thought I was going to kiss you, didn’t you?”

“U-uh…” Virgil didn’t know how to respond. Why was it so hard to think around him?

“How adorable. You did, didn’t you?” he purred, “Do you want me to?”

 Virgil’s lip trembled, “… I… don’t think so.”

“Hm.” Deceit’s smile dropped, “Okay. That hurts my feelings, you know? But… that’s alright. I care about you. I care about your feelings. Even if mine get hurt. I’ll be your friend. I **am** your friend. Aren’t we friends, Virgil?”

“… Yes. We’re friends.”

Deceit nodded, “That makes me happy.” He said, without smiling.

 

Deceit had insisted on walking Virgil back to his room. Everyone else was still in the dining hall, but Virgil still wasn’t hungry. He pretended not to be out of breath from climbing the eight flights of stairs.

“This is, um… my room.” Virgil muttered, stopping outside his door.

“Yes. It is.” Deceit smiled, fingers snaking up Virgil’s arm. “I’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow, won’t I?”

Virgil nodded.

“I’m looking forward to it.” He moved closer, fingers brushing up and down Virgil’s neck, sending an icy feeling across his skin, “Goodnight, Virgil.”

_Was he going to kiss me? This time? What do I do?_

He was close again. So close.

Deceit smirked, patted Virgil’s head… and walked away, leaving Virgil – shaking and dumbfounded – outside the door.

 

The wall looked better with the posters. Not great, but better. The bedside table now adorned an old black alarm clock, a shabby voodoo doll he made when he was ten, and an amethyst stone he held when he was nervous – which was often. Looking back at Patton’s bed; bright blue sheets covered in yellow throw pillows and a stuffed dog-toy, he wondered if he should have brought his own set of sheets too. But he liked the grey and black bedding already on his bed, so he didn’t mind.

Exhausted, head still spinning from his conversation with Deceit, Virgil quickly changed into his sleepwear – a baggy grey shirt, and a black pair of sweatpants. He flopped down on the bed, letting out a long sigh. He fumbled around the bedside table to find his headphones, plugging them in and resting them over his ears. Virgil was always calmed by music – even if most wouldn’t classify his taste as ‘calming’. It was loud, aggressive, and not very cheerful… but it helped. It felt right.

Clutching the amethyst stone in his hand, Virgil leaned back and closed his eyes, letting the world fade away…

… then the door slammed open. Virgil jolted upright, ripping the headphones from his head. He almost screamed – until he saw Patton’s confused face staring at him from the door. Not just Patton. Roman and Logan were standing behind him, also staring at Virgil with unreadable expressions.

_Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god._

“Hey, V!” Smiled Patton, trying to regain his usual cherry composure, “You okay? Sorry, this door opens super easily!”

“H-hey, Patton…” Virgil stammered, sitting up and crossing his legs, “Sorry, it’s fine, just… made me jump.”

Logan stepped inside, watching Virgil with a hand on his chin, thinking intently, “This is your new roommate?” he phrased it as a question, but from the way he spoke this was clearly a statement of fact, “But he’s… different.”

Virgil felt his heart drop.

“Logan…” Patton shot him a glance.

“What, I’m not saying it as an insult. It’s a fact, he is incredibly different from your past roommates.” He spoke in an almost monotone drawl, like he’d rehearsed all of this before.

“Well, I like different!” Laughed Patton, patting Logan a little too hard on the arm, “V is really nice, too. He likes art, like you, Roman!”

Virgil wished he was dead.

“I… I like drawing, I guess…”

“Oh, really?” mused Roman, following them inside. He took long, elegant steps, one hand raised high by his shoulders, “You like to draw? Tell me, what paint do you use after? Water? Metallics? Or do you just use pencils? Chalk?”

Oh, god, Virgil wished he was dead.

“I don’t really colour them.” Virgil shrugged, “I u-usually just draw… little doodles, things in my head…”

Roman raised an eyebrow, “Oh… well… the best art is a reflection of one’s inner self. I wish I could doodle, but I’m somewhat of a perfectionist. Only the best paper, tools, and planning will do. It’s… quite inconvenient.”

Was this guy insulting him on purpose, or was his ego really that big?

“That sounds great.” Virgil pressed his lips together, “Mhm… sounds great.”

Roman seemed to sense he had said something wrong, “… Could I… see something you’ve done?”

“He doesn’t have any on him.” Patton cut in, “Oh, you should invite him to the art club! Roman’s the leader of the club, you know?”

Roman’s eyes were wide, his lips tight, “Hm… well, if he wants to come… all are welcome!”

“Thanks.” Virgil nodded. “I’ll, uh… check it out.”

An awkward silence fell.

“… Roman’s also the leader of the drama club!” cried out Patton, sensing the tension, “And Logan, well, he tutors all of us in maths. He’s in the chess club, the science club, the algebra club, the debate team, th-”

“Patton.” Logan raised a hand, “Please, he’s not going to remember all that. So, how are your math skills, V?”

Virgil winced, “Uh… alright.”

“Hm, I’ll take that to mean you might benefit from some tutoring too.”

“Logan…” said Patton, smiling through gritted teeth, “don’t be mean…”

Logan looked confused, “Oh, was that rude? I apologise if your feelings were hurt. If they were not, I suppose I should apologise for Patton for drawing attention to the misunderstanding.”

“No… it’s okay.” Virgil shrugged, “I-I don’t need tutoring. I’m okay.”

Logan looked a little relieved, “Good. Well… keep it up then.”

Roman shook his head, “Ugh, we really should have rehearsed this beforehand… Logan, we’ve been over this.”

“It’s fine!” Virgil lifted his hands, “Really! It’s fine!”

Roman sighed, “Well… are… these your posters?” he gestured towards the wall, “I haven’t heard of these bands. Are they… _good?_ ”

“Y-yeah, they’re my favourites.”

Patton’s eyes lit up, “Oh, can we listen to some?”

Roman squinted, “Patton…”

“Now, now, listening to someone’s favourite music is a great way to learn more about them, right Logan?”

Logan tapped his chin, “Well… music can be an expression of one’s personal feelings, a way of conveying these without words, unless the song requires lyrics… but yes, a person’s taste in music can hold an understanding of a person’s psyche and view of the world around them. Personally, I find the whole ordeal… extraneous.”

“Try again.”

“ _Unnecessary_. I do have an appreciation for poetry and word play, but I don’t see the need for all the extra noise.”

Virgil smirked, “Are you a robot or something?”

Everyone turned to look at him.

_Oh no. Did he say that out loud?_

“I-I, um…”

Roman snorted.

Logan raised a brow, “No, I’m not… sadly. I’ve always said artificial intelligence could achieve heights our minds could not, being clogged with distractions like feelings.”

Patton shifted, “But feelings are great, Logan! Like… happiness, excitement… you know, love…”

Logan laughed, “Love? Ugh, it’s just chemicals in the brain.”

Patton looked away.

Roman had a look in his eyes, “Anyway… so this was wonderful. Truly a meeting destined in the stars, but I must get back to my room. I have early rehearsal before class. Logan, Patton, I shall see you tomorrow.” He headed towards the door, before stopping and turning back, “V…”

The lights from the ceiling shone brightly in his eyes – his hair still perfect – his jawline sharp as a knife.

“… I hope we meet again.” And with a wink, he was gone.

For a second, Virgil forgot how to speak.

Logan sighed, adjusting his glasses, “Well, if Roman gets to leave then I’m going too. Until tomorrow, Patton. See you, V.” He nodded and walked out the door, closing it carefully behind him.

Patton turned to Virgil, “So…” he twisted his hips, “I think they like you!”

Virgil smirked, “Yeah, they’re interesting.”

“Well, I’m glad you like them!” Patton smiled, sitting down next to him. “So, can I listen to some of that music now?”

“Oh, I don’t think you’ll like it…”

“That’s okay! It’s not _my_ favourite music, it’s _yours_. I’m curious about you, roomie!”

“Well… fine…” Virgil handed him his headphones, flipping through his phone to find a less aggressive song. He’d never shared his music with anyone before.

_‘Turn that god-awful noise down, you deaf moron.’_

“Okay… uh, try this.”

He pressed play, watching Patton’s expression carefully.

Patton’s eyebrows flicked up, his lips parted, “Oh, wow. It’s… it’s angry.”

Virgil winced, his stomach twisting into knots, “Yeah… sorry.”

“No, no, don’t be!” Patton started to dance a little, “It may not be my taste, but it’s good! The lyrics are so emotional… and I like the beat! It’s good!”

Virgil felt something light up inside him, “Y-yeah?”

“Yeah! Thank you for sharing this with me!” the music was getting louder, so Patton had started to shout, “I’m! Glad! That! We’re! Becoming! Friends!!”

Virgil laughed, “Um… yeah, f-friends?”

Patton took off the headphones, “Well, yeah, roomie! We _are_ friends! And I know that Logan and Roman like you too! Ooh! I can’t wait for us all to hang out, I’ve always said our group needed a forth.”

Virgil tapped a finger against his knee, “… That would be great…”

“It sure will!” Patton jumped up, “I’m going to get ready for bed. See you at breakfast tomorrow?”

“Y-yeah… oh, um, I can’t. I’m… meeting someone.”

“Ooh! Is that why you weren’t at dinner?”

“Yes…”

“Oh, thank goodness!” Patton sighed, “I was worried about you. I thought you’d gotten lost, or that you were scared, or…” he shrugged, “but you made a friend! That’s awesome, can I meet him? Oh, do I know him?”

“I don’t know, it’s the tall guy with the hat, um D-”

“ _Deceit?_ ”

Did Patton look pale?

“You know him?”

“O-oh, uh… yeah…” Patton nodded, looking away, “I-I know him… he’s… he’s… he’s an unusual character, huh?”

“I guess.”

“Well… cool! See you soon, roomie!” he turned around and hurried out the room, towards the communal shower area.

Virgil felt something cold bubbling inside him. Maybe he shouldn’t meet Deceit at breakfast after all…


	3. The First Choice

_Patton, Logan, and Roman._

Or

_Deceit._

Virgil was still lying in bed, covers up to his chin, eyes squeezed shut.

 _Have breakfast with his roommate and his friends_ or have breakfast with… _Deceit._

Patton had left before Virgil had woken up, he’d said something last night about going to support Roman. The dining hall was to open for breakfast in ten minutes.

Virgil had to make a choice.

Breakfast with his new _friends_ or breakfast with his new… _friend_? Or, secret option number three… stay in bed and hide.

_No…_

If he didn’t go sit with Patton, would he start to think he didn’t like him? He **did** like him, though he wasn’t sure why.

But, if he didn’t go sit with Deceit, would that upset him? The idea of upsetting Deceit made Virgil feel… uneasy.

If he hid away, like he usually did, then he’d lose twice as bad. For once, this wasn’t a tempting option. It made him feel even more sick.

He remembered what Patton had said when he told him about Deceit. The way his face went pale, his pupils shrank, the quiver in his voice as he struggled to respond. Even the way he said his name sounded so scared. How did they know each other? What happened?

_Maybe it was a misunderstanding?_

_Maybe he was overthinking this?_

_Virgil did have a tendency to do that…_

_Was this one of those times? What if it wasn’t?_

Virgil groaned and covered his face with a pillow.

He held it there until he needed air, but continued to stare at the ceiling and think.

_Maybe if I go down to the dining hall, I’ll see who’s there first. I’ll sit with them and, when the other comes, I’ll go and say hi. If they’re both there, then… well… I’ll do something else._

It was the **perfect** plan.

 

The dining hall was starting to fill with students; some perky and awake, others with droopy eyes, yawning into their cereal. It looked as if students from different clubs were grouping together, taking over entire tables. It was easy to tell which club was which.

The drama club were testing each other on lines, or singing a variety of voice exercises. Like Roman, each had perfectly styled hair, and moved around like cartoon characters.

The art club, with their brightly dyed hair, piercings, and paint-stained clothes looked… very out of it. They were drawing on napkins, making pyramids out of toast, laughing at nothing.

It was hard to tell if the band of nerds were the chess club, science club, or one of the other clubs Logan was a part of. It looked like they were still completing homework, hunched over cups of black coffee.

The other tables were simply gangs of friends, laughing and chatting, or falling asleep on each other’s shoulders. Amongst them were Patton, Logan, and Roman. Roman was eating a bowl of fruit, talking loudly to Patton, who was glancing over at Logan with a strange expression. Logan, not noticing, was reading a newspaper.

Deceit was nowhere to be seen. Virgil gave a sigh of relief.

He took a step forward when a hand appeared on his shoulder.

“Good morning, Virgil.”

He jumped, but the hand on his shoulder only tightened around his clothes.

“Hey, now.” Deceit laughed, slowly letting go, “It’s only me. You’re not scared of me, are you?”

Virgil shook his head, “N-no, you just m-made me jump.”

Deceit hummed, “Do you scare easily, Virgil? It’s okay…” he softly touched Virgil’s ear, “I’m here. You have no reason to be scared… or suspicious… alright?”

Virgil looked down.

“Poor thing. Come on, we’re going to have breakfast.” He took Virgil by the arm and pulled him away from the door.

“B-but… the dining hall is-”

“No, not there. Not around those people. I don’t know about you, but doesn’t the feeling of hundred of eyes watching your every movement, judging the way you look and eat and sit… make it hard to enjoy your meal?”

Virgil felt sick at the thought, “… You feel like that too?”

“Of course. When guys like us sit around guys like them, they stare at us. Because they don’t understand us.”

“I knew it…” he sighed, “everyone said I was paranoid…”

Deceit sniffed, “Yes, that’s easy for them to say when they don’t look like us. Come on, I’m going to take you somewhere safe. Don’t you feel safe with me?”

Virgil hesitated. He wasn’t sure _how_ he felt around Deceit. Honestly, it was hard to feel or think about anything – something about him made his head feel foggy; incoherent thoughts swimming and fading as soon as they’re born. Why was that?

But Deceit liked him. He said he did. He seemed to say exactly what Virgil was thinking – it was a relief to meet someone so honest, who didn’t try and make him feel better with lies. Virgil always knew they were lies… eventually everyone stopped trying.

_Maybe he should go with him?_

“Yes. I do.”

Deceit smiled, “I’m so glad, Virgil. Come with me.”

 

They were sitting on a bench in a courtyard, near the library. It was surprisingly quiet – for such a sunny day, you’d think this place would be packed with students, trying to soak up as much sun as possible before class. But everyone must be in the dining hall, with their friends…

“Do you like it here, Virgil?” asked Deceit, slipping a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He looked different in the light; his yellow eye didn’t shine as bright, but it was easier to make out the pattern of his tattoo. Scales – like a lizard, or a snake.

“Yeah.” Virgil nodded. “It’s nice here.”

“Hm, yes…” Deceit turned his face towards Virgil, the other could practically feel his breath against his cheek. He smelled like smoke, and something… he couldn’t describe, but it made him feel dizzy. “This used to be full of people, all the time. But, some guys were caught naked in the fountain, and now it’s off limits.”

Virgil started to panic, “W-we can’t be here?”

Deceit smiled, “Of course we can, it’s just off limits. But, then again… aren’t things that are off limits just that much more… _tempting?_ ”

Virgil wanted to argue, but why was it so hard to disagree with him? Or even think about disagreeing with him? “I suppose… b-but… but…”

“ _Shh…_ ” Deceit’s voice dropped to a whisper, “ _No. None of that. Just trust me… I’d never let anything happen to you._ ”

When did he put his hand on Virgil’s lap?

“But-”

“ _I said…”_ Deceit’s fingers were now pressed against Virgil’s lips, _“… shh. You need to trust me. Without me… you have nobody. **Nobody.** Understand?_ ”

 Virgil, unable to speak, could only nod.

“Good boy.”

_Footsteps were approaching._

Deceit looked up, dropped his hand, and sat up straight. Virgil sat up too. He looked over and saw Deceit was smoking a cigarette, smoothing out a crease in his shirt. Virgil’s eyes went wide, “S-someone’s going to see you!”

Deceit smirked, “Trust me. It’s all fine.”

The footsteps grew closer and closer, until a figure rounded the corner.

Was that… Patton?

Their eyes met.

“Oh, V!” Patton waved nervously, his gaze drawn to the man by his side, “Oh, and… and…”

Deceit breathed a cloud of smoke through pursed lips, “Patton.”

Virgil watched as his roommate’s face fell, his shoulders slumping. His eyes had way more fear in them than last night… what was going on?

“H-hey… D-Deceit…” Patton stammered, unsure if he should step forward or step back.

Deceit leaned back and, surprising both, rested an arm over Virgil’s shoulder, pulling him close. Virgil, taken aback, did not fight him. But his eyes were locked into Patton’s, whose mouth had dropped open.

Virgil felt like he should say something.

But what could possibly _not_ make this worse?

“S-so, you two…” Patton was trying to smile, “are… r-really good f-friends, huh?”

Deceit was taking a drag, “Yes. We are… very close, Patton. I hope you don’t mind me borrowing your new roomie? He’s just… so interesting to me. Don’t you find him interesting?”

Patton was paler than Virgil, “… He’s… awesome. W-we’re friends too, right? V?”

Virgil tried to nod, but Deceit pulled him even closer.

“Cute. How are the others, Patton? How’s Roman? How’s **Logan?** ”

Patton blushed – his face was so pale his cheeks looked like beetroot, “Fine…” he mumbled.

Deceit smiled, “I’m glad to hear it. I always _loved_ Logan, don’t you just _love_ Logan?”

Patton was struggling to speak.

“Of course. Anyway,” he finally let Virgil go, standing and flicking his cigarette into the empty fountain, “time for class.” He turned to Virgil, fingers tracing his jawline, sending waves of fog swimming through his mind, “Will I be seeing you at lunch?”

Virgil stammered something along the lines of ‘ _okay_ ’.

“Good boy.” He looked back up, “… Patton.”

Deceit walked away.

Once he was out of sight Virgil stood up, looking at Patton. _Was Patton… was he okay? He looked almost close to tears?_

“Patton… you… okay?”

Patton swallowed, “Oh, me? I’m fine! Haha, I’m always fine. I have to go! Bye!” and off he went.

Virgil stayed where he was.

He let out a sigh.

“… This is why I always skip breakfast.”


	4. Class Is In Session

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to Fauxginger for helping me write the maths bit (or write around the math bit) for I know NOTHING ABOUT MATHS. GO FOLLOW

**_Algebra – Group 7b – Room 303_ **

Oh god, he was going to be late.

He was going to get a penalty on his first day.

His first day!

_They’d kick him out._

_He only got into this school by the skin of his teeth._

_This was it._

_He’d have to go home._

_Back to his parents._

_His dad picking him up in his dented, stained car… his face red as hellfire… ready to scream._

This map was useless! What was the point of them?

Some signs would be helpful!

_Oh._

There were signs.

He was five floors away.

_Uuuuuuuuuuuugh…_

 

“You’re late.”

Class had started five minutes ago. Everyone in the class was staring at him. God, this was worse than not showing up at all.

“Sorry…” Virgil mumbled.

The teacher, a typical white-middle-aged-bearded-man, sighed and pointed to the one empty seat. “Not a good start. Well, it is your first day… so I’ll let you off with a warning. But if it happens again, that’ll be _two_ penalties, okay?”

Virgil sighed softly, “Thank you, sir.”

“Good. Take a seat, uh…” he checked the register, “I don’t have your full name. What does the V stand for?”

_Crap. Crap. Crap._

“I-I go by… V… actually.”

The teacher furrowed his brow, “Well… alright, makes it easier to remember. Now, let’s talk algebra!”

Virgil hurried towards the empty chair, unable to comprehend how he’d gotten through this penalty-free. However, that good feeling was about to fade away… around the time he spotted who was sitting in the seat next to him.

Logan was wearing a different black polo from yesterday, but he was unmistakable. As was the look of contempt he always wore, fixed onto his face.

Virgil tried not to look at him.

_He was late to class._

_Maths class._

_Forced to spend an extended amount of time with a friend of a friend, who he’d never held a real conversation with._

Was this whole day just a nightmare? Could he wake up at any point? Please?

Crap, he wasn’t paying attention.

 _Focus_.

 

Thirty minutes into class, everyone was scribbling down equations to the problems written on the board. First classes were supposed to be easy, but it seemed their teacher had _zero_ interest in taking it easy, or actually teaching them himself. The best combination, surely.

Virgil may as well be taking advanced Spanish, because nothing he was reading made any sense. What made it worse was sitting next to Logan, of all people, who had almost finished every question. _Did this guy have a calculator where his social-skills used to be? If he ever had them._

The phone on the teacher’s desk began to ring. He sighed, tossed down the paper he was reading, and grabbed it, “N’yello. What? No, nobody teaches in that building anym- really? For god sake. No, no, I’m not busy. I’ll be there in five. Kay. Bye.”

He slammed down the phone and heaved himself up, “Alright, listen up! One of you little… _kids_ graffitied the old language building. I will be back in twenty minutes… forty if I’m lucky. No talking! No cellphones! No… anything. Anyone who doesn’t finish the questions gets a penalty. Got it?”

“Yes sir.” Echoed the class.

 

With the teacher out of the way, it wasn’t long before every rule he’d set had been broken. People were sitting on desks, playing on their phones, talking loudly, and throwing paper. It seemed that Virgil was the only one who hadn’t finished his questions… the one who was already on thin ice.

The extra noise was making it hard to focus – he wished he had his music.

“Okay… okay…” he muttered to himself, tapping his pen against his desk, “carry the one… you just… uh… I think…”

After inputting some numbers into a calculator, Virgil felt he was in the right area. Putting any answer was better than no answer, right?

Taking a deep breath, he started to write the number seven…

“Wrong.”

Virgil paused, looking to his left. Logan’s eyes were scanning his paper, whilst his completed paper lay under his folded hands.

“Oh…” Virgil scribbled it out. He thought for a second, then started to write the number nin-

“Wrong.”

Virgil scribbled it out. Nibbling his lower lip, Virgil pressed his pen against the page.

“Wrong.”

He dropped the pen, “I didn’t even write anything.”

“I know, but I assumed it was going to be wrong.”

Virgil scoffed, “You did **not** know that.”

“Oh? Okay, what were you going to write?”

“Psh… Fiii-”

“Wrong.”

“Siiii-”

“Wrong.”

“Seeevee-”

“You already tried that.”

“Ugh.” Virgil put his head in his hands, “Okay… fine… I don’t know maths. I’m stupid. I’m dumb. You were right – you happy?”

Logan was thinking, “Well, I’m always right – but no. That doesn’t always make me happy. If you were good at maths, and had an appreciation for the poetry of numbers in equations… that would make me happy.”

“Well… sorry to upset you.”

An uncomfortable silence fell between them. Thankfully the noise around them softened the awkwardness. Logan had turned away, and Virgil returned to his own paper.

But now the numbers didn’t even look like… anything. Just lines and symbols, conveying nothing. He wanted to scream. He wanted to run. He was _so_ going to get a penalty.

He must have looked like he was really suffering, because Logan started to sigh, “Oh, wow, you really _don’t_ know maths, do you?”

“… No… I’m stupid, I’m st-”

“Alright, calm down.” Logan lifted his hand, paused, and put it down, “It’s okay. Look, this doesn’t make you stupid. I don’t think you’re stupid, I think… nobody’s really gone through this with you before, have they? Teachers? Your parents?”

Virgil scoffed, “My old school was shut down, lets leave it at that. As for my parents… just… no. They… they didn’t, no.”

“Understood.” Logan nodded, “Well, let me see…” he leaned over and read for a while, “hm… okay, well, you actually got close. Like for number four, you got this part right, but then…”

Virgil listened patiently as Logan explained how to solve the equation. He even used a number of different examples, and some easier versions. Eventually, it was time to return to question four…

Virgil took a deep breath, “Okay…”

“Just stay calm. You’ve got this.”

“Alright… uh… there. Is that right?”

Logan gave the tiniest hint of a smile, or maybe he had a stomach ache, “You got it. That’s the answer.”

Virgil blinked, “I… did maths. I did maths… good?”

“Do we need to work on your grammar as well?”

“No, no… I’m kind of good at English. W-would you… if you’re not busy… would you-”

Logan sighed, grabbing his calculator, “Sure. But use this, yours is ancient.”

 

“Wait… I know this now… multiply by _this_ … there. That’s right, isn’t it?”

Logan shrugged, “You tell me. Is that right?”

Virgil paused, looked down, then scribbled the answer down.

“Good. It **was** right, I think you’ve got it.”

Virgil pumped his fist, realized what he’d done, and dropped his hands to his lap, “Yeah. I think I have. Th-thanks.”

“Well, you still have a long way to go.”

The bell went. Everyone started shoving books and pencils into their bags, hurrying towards the door. Virgil joined them, putting his things away, “I do appreciate it. Thanks. Really.”

“No problem. I will see you tomorrow at four.”

Virgil blinked, watching as Logan carefully placed his books, calculator, and pen into his bag, “Wait, why?”

Logan looked at him, “For your tutoring, of course. This was only the basics, but I think with the right help you’ll vastly improve. But don’t doubt yourself so much, it’s harder to focus that way.”

_That wasn’t exactly how Virgil worked._

“Oh… wow, uh, are you sure?”

“Of course. I’m always sure. See you then, V.”

“S-sure… see you, Logan.”

He nodded, and walked out the room, leaving Virgil stuck at his desk.

 _Huh,_ he thought, _maybe I’d misjudged him. Yeah, he’s a bit of a robot, and yes he painfully knows how smart he is. But… maybe he’s not bad. Not bad at all._

Virgil pulled the timetable from his pocket, smoothing it out, “Hm… English next… so that room should be…” he sighed, “… the other side of the school.”


	5. Doubt

He was on time. Checking his watch, Virgil calculated it would take about two minutes to reach the classroom… and he had seven left. He breathed in and out, nice and calmly. He was fine. He slowed down to a walk.

Virgil didn’t feel as nervous about English. It was the one subject he actually enjoyed. Nobody knew this – and nobody will **ever** know this – but Virgil liked to write poetry in his spare time. A lot of poetry. Sometimes he dabbled in creative writing.

But, if things got too difficult, maybe Logan wouldn’t mind tutoring him in that too. Wow, never before would Virgil even consider asking someone else for such a favour, but Logan seemed the type to genuinely enjoy tutoring others. He had that teacher vibe about him – plus, it gave him the opportunity to be the smartest one in the room.

At least he wasn’t one of those condescending smart guys. Sure, he was a little snarky at time, but he was actually helpful, never talking down to him. He was really nice… and smart… _kind of handso-_

Woah. Why was he thinking about him so much? Virgil shivered. _Ew._ Never mind.

Rounding a corner, Virgil checked his watch again. It was fine. He was doing fine.

Just relax.

Just relax and-

“ _Virgil._ ”

He skidded to a halt.

Sure enough, there was Deceit. Leaning against the wall, one leg over the other, fiddling with a rubber band ball. He was wearing a leather jacket – something Virgil knew was _definitely_ against the dress-code. In fact, so was the tattoo. How was he getting away with all this?

“Oh. Hi.” Virgil waved, trying to keep some distance between them. The closer they got, the weirder he made him feel. That was something he wanted to minimise.

“You just had your first class, was it hard?” Deceit made a face of pity, “Classes can be so hard here for some people… you seem like the type to struggle with science and maths…”

Virgil, shocked by the accuracy but insulted by the accusation, took a step back, “Hey… what?”

“Oh, no, no. Don’t be insulted.” Deceit chuckled, pocketing the ball. “You’re smart, I can tell. You’re smart in the real way. The best way. Not the traditional, mainstream, smart-people smart. I like it.”

Virgil had no idea how to respond to or feel about that, “… Uh… well… I-I’m getting some tutoring.”

Deceit raised a brow, “Really? Seems like a waste of time… you don’t _need_ maths.” He started walking towards him, “Who’s tutoring you?”

Virgil stepped back again, but his back hit the wall. “Uh, Logan. Logan, um… I-I don’t know his last name…”

“Oh, I know him.” Deceit smirked, “Logan… interesting. Yes, he loves feeling superior to people like us. Just because he’s smarter than you doesn’t mean he’s better than you, you know?”

Virgil’s lip quivered, “It’s not like that… he helped me today. He’s… he’s nice.”

Deceit paused, “Is he? We must be thinking of different Logans. Is he _nice_ to you? Does he tell you how _clever_ you are? How well you can do if you just spend time with him and listen to him and do _anything he says?_ ” he chuckled, “Sounds like Logan has a thing for control. Sounds like he showers you with compliments and you follow him about like a little puppy, because he’s _so smart_ and _so wonderful_. Is that it? I thought you were better than this…”

The fog was back.

“I-it’s not… like… that…”

“You’re too gullible. Guys like Logan love to take advantage of guys like you. Trust me…” he traced the ends of Virgil’s sleeves, “I’m just trying to protect you. I hate the idea of Logan smirking to himself, so pleased that he’s got you under this thumb. I’ve known him for years, you’ve known him for, what? A day? Do you really think you know him better than me?”

“I-I don’t…”

“Do you think you know more than me? One lesson with Logan and now you’re smarter than everyone?”

“N-no! No.”

“Good.” Suddenly, Deceit’s hands were pressed against the wall by Virgil’s shoulders, trapped him between them. “Look… I care very much about you. Very, very much. But you’re too… trusting.”

Their chests were touching.

“N-no… I’m r-really not…” Virgil mumbled. “I… have a hard time trusting people, actually…”

“But you trust me?”

“I…”

“Virgil. Answer me.”

“Yes.”

“Good. Then trust me when I tell you this…” their noses were practically touching, “ **… stay away from Logan**. Don’t talk to him. Don’t be in the same room as him, if you can. Maybe try transferring to a different class… I could pull some strings for you.”

“Y-you can do-”

“Oh, Virgil, the things I can do. The things I can do for you… this is how much I care about you. Doesn’t it feel… _good_?” why did it feel so funny when he touched his cheek, “Having someone care this much about you?”

“Uh… y-yeeah…”

“I just wish you could have a little more… gratitude. Does that make me selfish?”

“N-no! Um… th-thank you.”

Deceit smiled, leaning in to plant a soft, almost-kiss on Virgil’s forehead. “You are welcome. Now, better get to class. You’re going to be late.”

“… Oh, oh man.” Virgil shook himself back into reality, “I-I have t-to go.”

“See you at lunch.”

“Y-yes… bye!”

Virgil slipped under his arms and took off down the corridor. He could make it. A few minutes left… wait, where was he going?

_Crap, wrong way!_

 

He made it.

Slumping down into an empty seat, Virgil breathed a sigh of relief. He was early by _two whole minutes._ Hands shaking, he reached into his bag for his text book, his pens, and… wait, where was his text book?

“No… crap…” he whispered, “No…”

Forgetting books was a penalty.

There was no time – if he went to get it, he’d get a late penalty.

He was trapped.

_Failure._

_Expulsion._

_Going back._

_No. No. No._

“V!”

Snapped out of his mental spiral, Virgil looked to see none other than Patton, sporting a blue and white sweater, sliding into the seat beside him, “Hey, roomie! How was your first day? Why are you sitting at the back? Are you okay, you look a little pale? Are you sick? Do you need me to take you to the nurse? Am I asking too many questions.”

Virgil blinked, “Uh… okay, I’m use to sitting here, I’m okay, I’m okay, no, and… you’re fine.” He breathed in, “Anything else?”

Patton laughed, “Good to hear! Better get your book out, we’ll be starting soon.”

“I, uh… I kinda forgot it…”

Patton’s eyes widened, “Hey, no worries! You can share mine,” he fished it from his bag – it was creased and dog-eared already, “nobody will mind. It happens all the time.”

Virgil sighed in relief, “Oh, my god, thank you. Seriously. I was late to my first class and… now this, and… I don’t want to get any penalties on my first day.”

“Hey, hey,” Patton put a hand on Virgil’s wrist. It felt warm and comforting, completely different to whenever Deceit touched him. It felt genuinely friendly. “It’s fine. Everyone gets penalties… unless you’re Logan. But they’re easy to work off! And, if you’re worried you’re getting too many, I can help you out. Don’t tell him I said this… but _Roman constantly gets penalties._ Being late, talking in class, forgetting everything… he’s the Penalty King.”

Virgil chuckled, “Wow… I’m not that surprised.”

Patton giggled, “Oh, was that bad? Is this gossiping? Oh, please don’t tell him.”

He looked genuinely afraid, so Virgil returned the hand on the wrist, “I won’t! It’s fine.”

Patton sighed, “Okay… sorry.”

Virgil wasn’t used to being in the calming-someone-down position… it was nice. A lot easier than being the one calmed down, actually. Was that normal?

It looked like class was about to start. Everyone opened up their textbooks, Virgil and Patton hovering over the same one, and started their _‘silent reading’_ of an old poem for a later discussion on the themes.

Virgil recognised this poem. It was one of his favourites – which he kept quiet about.

“Boy, these are big words, huh.” Mumbled Patton, pushing his glasses further up his nose, “It’s good! I think…”

Virgil nodded, “Yeah, people like to show off with big words to make up for their lack of actual knowledge. You see it a lot in poetry…”

Patton made a noise of surprise, “You know a lot about this stuff, huh? That’s awesome! I can never seem to get my head around it…”

“Well, I can’t understand maths so… I feel you.”

“You should join Roman and I! Logan is such a great tutor. He’s really great.”

Virgil suddenly remembered – what happened in maths class – what happened in the corridor –

“Uh… L-Logan offered to tutor me tomorrow, actually. He saw I was struggling with algebra, and… offered.” He shrugged, “You know. I might go. I-I’m not sure.”

Patton looked up, “Tomorrow? Oh.”

“W-what?”

“Nothing, it’s just… well, he tutors Roman and I together on Wednesday.”

Virgil felt even more uncomfortable about the whole thing, “… Uh… well… he probably thinks I need extra help. He’s been tutoring you guys for longer than me.”

Patton thought for a second, then smiled, “It’s cool. Hey, it’s fine! I didn’t know Logan gave one-on-one tutoring. Haha… but, it’s great. I’m happy for you guys! B-becoming friends, I mean!”

Virgil blinked, “I… suppose we are.”

Patton nodded, “Yeah. I really… really do want you to become a part of our group. Well… I need to go to the bathroom, see you in a sec!” he smiled, excused himself, and hurried out the room.

Virgil leaned back, frowning.

_The hell was that all about?_


	6. A Good Friend

Virgil continued his silent reading alone for quite some time, his eyes flicking to the door every couple of minutes. Patton had left for the bathroom a while ago – just long enough for someone like Virgil to start becoming anxious. He wasn’t sure what he could be anxious about. What could happen in the bathroom of all places?

Virgil looked back down at the text book, trying to focus on the words shifting around the page before him.

_Maybe I should go look for him?_

He shook his head. _No, Patton is fine. Maybe he was just ill? He’s probably at the nurse._ He can go check on him after class, if he wasn’t back by then.

Virgil grabbed a notebook from his bag, tearing out an empty page. What he needed was a distraction. Something to occupy his thoughts to keep them from getting too… overwhelming. He checked around – nobody was looking at him. Everyone was focused on their textbooks or each other. Virgil may as well have been a piece of furniture.

Taking a slow, deep breath… Virgil started to doodle on the piece of paper. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to draw, or what he was actually doing, so he simply let the pencil go where it wanted to go. After a while, it seemed that an eye was beginning to form. So, he drew the rest of the person. They were now sitting, so he gave them a bench. They must have been cold, because soon they were dressed in a hoodie.

He spent the rest of the class drawing the background. An empty hill, barren and rocky, overlooking a body of water. Soon waves began to grow; tall and angry. The closer to the hill they got, the more they grew and grew, threatening to submerge the hill in icy water. A barren hill – a lonely place – safe – as long as he kept away from the water. But the waves kept growing. The man in the picture couldn’t move, he was trapped where he was. The bench. A wooden bench. The waves were almost upon him… why wasn’t he moving away? Couldn’t he see the danger he was in? Why was nobody warning him? A sign? A person?

The final wave was upon him…

_Where the hell was Patton-_

-There was barely time to form his next thought before the bell rang.

Now Virgil _really_ was worried.

The other students vacated the room with far more gusto than before – it was lunchtime after all.

Shoving the paper into his pocket and packing away the rest of his things, Virgil squeezed himself between the mass of hungry students, rounded a corner, and shot off towards the bathroom.

He didn’t want to run – running in the halls was a penalty – but right now he didn’t care about that.

The bathroom wasn’t that far away. Virgil skidded to a halt and pushed open the door, hoping nobody else would be there… he didn’t want to make _eye contact_. Thankfully, it seemed to be empty. Wait – then where was Patton?

“Patton?” Virgil whispered towards the stalls, unable to tell in any were locked or not, “Pat? You in here?”

“V-V?” came a quiet voice from the stall furthest away, “Hey…”

Virgil hurried over, “What’s wrong? You missed the rest of class, it’s lunch.”

“It is?” Patton made a sound which sounded like laughter, “I-I must have not heard the bell. I felt a little ill… but I think I’m okay now.”

Virgil narrowed his eyes, “Are you coming out?”

“Hm? Oh, lunch! Yes, I’m starving. I-I’ll be out in a jiffy!”

_Was he blowing his nose or practicing the trumpet in there? Maybe he was sick… maybe he should go to the nurse…_

Virgil’s train of thought was interrupted by the sound of a lock being turned, and there was Patton, smiling wide as if nothing had happened, “Hey, roomie! You didn’t have to come looking for me, you know? I’m fine now!”

“Are you sure? You do sound a pretty sick.”

Patton waved a hand dismissively, “Oh, I’m fine! I’m always fine!” he laughed, a little too hard. “Well, better get going! We wanna get to the dining hall before all the good pasta is gone.”

 

The good pasta, as it happens, was the macaroni and cheese with extra cheese sprinkled on top. Virgil may not have been as big a fan of cheese as Patton, but it did smell good. Grabbing their servings and a bottle of water each, Patton lead him to an empty table – sans for Roman, highlighting what looked like a script over a half-empty bowl of soup.

As they took their seats, Roman finally looked up, “Patton!” he flashed a smile, “I was wondering where you were. I worried I’d have to spend lunch al-” his gaze landed on Virgil, “… Oh. Well, hello to you too, V. Will… you be joining us?”

Virgil gave a nod, “Hey, Roman.”

“How excellent.” Roman smiled again, though a little more forced this time, “I feel we did not get a proper introduction last we met. Personally, I blame Logan…”

_Was this guy raised in a palace? Everything he said sounded like an audition for a play…_

Patton tapped Roman’s hand with his fork, who feigned injury, “Hey! V and Logan are friends now. Logan’s giving him some private tutoring! Isn’t that great?”

Roman’s eyebrows flew up his forehead, “Really? With Logan?”

“Yeah!!”

“But… now, you know I love Logan… he’s like a brother to me. An annoying brother, granted. But he’s not exactly one for… spending time alone with…”

“Yep!!”

Roman’s gaze flickered between Virgil and Patton, his lips pressed into a fine line, “Well, this is… marvellous. It seems he’s coming out of his shell.” He smirked at Virgil, “What on earth did you do to him?”

Virgil made a shrugging gesture, “I’m just… really bad at maths, I guess.”

Logan was giving Virgil some tutoring. Was this really that strange? How come everyone he told had such… weird reactions? Should he be worried?

_‘Sounds like Logan has a thing for control. Sounds like he showers you with compliments and you follow him about like a little puppy, because he’s so smart and so wonderful.’_

Virgil shook the thoughts from his head. No… that couldn’t be it…

_‘Guys like Logan love to take advantage of guys like you.’_

“Sh-should, uh…” Virgil pushed some pasta around his bowl, “should I not… go? Or something?”

Patton and Roman looked shocked.

“What?” Roman laughed, “Oh, don’t be ludicrous! We’re just surprised, that’s all!”

“Logan usually takes a while to warm up to people,” shrugged Patton, “Hey, this is a great thing! It really is _great_!”

“Yes.” Roman nodded, “I… concur. Maybe he’ll give private tutoring to all of us… Patton, why don’t you ask h-”

“No, no.” Patton laughed, “No, I-I’m okay. I work better with others, you know me!”

“Yes…” Roman nodded again, though slowly and deliberate, “I _do_ know you… which is why I believe you could… benefit from-”

“So, V!”. Patton coughed, “How has your first day been? How is um… d-did you make any other friends?”

_Oh, god, they were both looking at him._

“It’s been… fine.” Virgil nodded, “The building’s a bit big but… it’s fine. And no… I haven’t met any…”

_Wait, was he asking about Deceit?_

_Did Roman and the others know anything about him?_

_Should he ask?_

_What would they say?_

_Wait…_

_… Deceit._

**_He was supposed to be meeting him right now!!_ **

“Crap,” Virgil jumped up, grabbing his bag, “I-I completely forgot, I need to be somewhere! I’ll see you both at dinner!”

“Wait, you dropped-”

But Virgil didn’t hear what Roman was saying. Oh, god, how could he forget? What was he going to say? Why was he so scared? _What was happening to him?!_

Skidding around a corner, heart pounding in his ears, who should Virgil bump straight into?

“Oh, there you are.”

Virgil couldn’t catch his breath, “D-Deceit…” he looked up, “I was just… looking for you…”

Deceit wasn’t wearing his hat, but the leather jacket was now tied around his waist. As usual, his expression was almost impossible to read… but he was smiling. That was good, right?

“You were?” He mused, lightly touching his own chin, “I’m very glad to hear that, but… why would you find me hanging out with Patton? And Roman?”

Virgil felt his stomach drop down to his feet, “… Uh…”

How did he know that?

“Virgil, Virgil…” Deceit tutted, “You’re very jittery today. Did someone scare you? Do you want me to take care of it?”

“No…” Virgil wanted to step back, but his feet felt rooted to the floor, “I’m… I just… I get like this a lot… I’m sorry…”

“Don’t apologise for that…” chuckled Deceit, brushing a strand of hair from Virgil’s eyes.

_Fog._

“… maybe apologise for leaving me here, waiting for you.”

“I-I’m sorry… it’s Patton. He got ill in English class, a-and I went to find him in the bathroom.”

“How dreadful, I do hope he’s okay…” his fingers were now playing with Virgil’s fringe, “although… he seems fine now. That was a speedy recovery.”

“Yeah, h-he said he felt better, but I was worried. S-so I followed him to the hall. I… I forgot we were… I’m sorry.”

“Oh, come now…” Deceit smiled, “you were being a good friend. That is very rare to find these days… it’s good. You just need to make sure you’re being a _good friend_ to the right people.”

Virgil blinked, “… Is that… not Patton?”

The corners of Deceit’s mouth twitched, “Patton is… very protective of his friends. Some may say that’s being a good friend, but it can lead to him getting… a little jealous, sometimes. I’m sure he would like to be your friend, you will be living together after all, but… he’s just worried.”

“A-about what?”

“You replacing him.”

Virgil laughed, “Really?”

“Don’t laugh. I’m serious.” Deceit’s expression darkened, “Patton loves his friends more than anything… if he starts to think they like you more than him… he might get upset. You don’t want to upset Patton, do you?”

“O-of course not…”

“Patton has known Logan for a long time – but _he_ shares his tutoring time with _Roman._ That’s how it’s always been. Then along comes the new guy, and suddenly Logan is offering private tutoring? Shouldn’t he save that for his real friends? Doesn’t Patton deserve that much?”

“I… I…”

“Maybe Logan just wants to get you alone… away from the others… where nobody can see him try and-”

“V!”

Snapping back to earth, Virgil noticed how close their faces were. He pulled back, spinning around – though he could still feel Deceit’s hands on his waist.

It was Roman, holding a piece of paper in his hand.

Virgil’s hands jumped to his pockets.

_Oh._

_Crap._

**_No._ **

“Roman… uh…” he stammered, “hey… I was… uh…”

But Roman wasn’t looking at him. In fact, his eyes were locked onto the figure standing right behind him.

But unlike Patton – Roman didn’t look scared.

_Roman looked **angry.**_

 


	7. Breathe

“Roman.”

“… You.”

The tension in the corridor was so thick even Roman’s jawline couldn’t cut it.

Deceit’s fingers were pressing harder into Virgil’s waist.

The anger in Roman’s eyes was burning like hellfire, even his cheeks were flushed red.

_Nobody was talking._

_Somebody speak._

_Virgil speak?_

_No. No Virgil speak._

_Virgil speak make worse._

Maybe he did need grammar lessons…

“You look great, Roman.” Virgil could hear Deceit’s smile through his words, “Love the accessorising on your shirt… it totally doesn’t look like your mother tried to mend it…”

Roman’s eye twitched, “Take that back.”

Deceit chuckled, “Did she? Is that why you wear it? That’s adorable… why else would you walk around looking like that?”

Okay, Virgil should probably say something now?

“Do I have to give you a black eye again?” Roman’s teeth were gritted, “I think it looked better – nobody could see that ridiculous tattoo, Ed Snake-ly Junior.”

_Oh, snap._

“I’m wounded.” Deceit’s hands moved to Virgil’s shoulders, one finger gliding up and down his neck, “Well, as much as I love these chats of ours, Roman… I really don’t love them.” He spun Virgil to face him, “I’ll see you tonight…” he lifted Virgil’s hands to his face, voice dropping to a whisper, “Virgil… don’t keep me waiting this time.”

Pressing his lips to the other’s fingers, Deceit let him go, spinning around and walking away. He was humming.

As the fog began to clear, Virgil felt a hand on his arm. He turned to see Roman, anger melting from his eyes, gripping his wrist. It didn’t hurt, but it was tight – almost protective.

“What are you doing?” Roman whispered, visibly shaking.

“I’m… not doing anything?”

Roman laughed humourlessly, “Really? Because it looks like you’re cosying up with… _him._ ”

“N-no… he’s… m-my friend…”

Roman laughed again, “Are you serious? Friend? _Deceit doesn’t have friends._ He has people who are scared of him, people who owe him something, and… people he can mess with. I…” Roman gripped his other arm, “… know we don’t know each other that well. In all honesty? I’m not sure I like you.”

“… Wow.”

“Well, you do have this… dark… edgy… uh…”

Virgil shoved his hands away, “Are you being serious right now? You come out here, you tell me who I can and can’t hang out with, and then you insult me to my face?! What’s the matter with you?”

Roman went still, “… I…” he clenched his hand into a fist, pressing it against his lips, “I’m sorry. I know Patton wants us to be friends, and… I do want that too. I do. But… I have a lot of… preconceived notions about people who… look exactly like you.”

Virgil wasn’t sure if he wanted to run away or punch him.

“But that’s wrong! I know that! I know I’m… I’m superficial, and I’m vain, I’m all the things you hate. I know! But… I’m _trying_.” He grabbed his wrists again – Virgil didn’t fight him, “But believe me. Trust me – even if you hate me. Even if you can’t believe anything else I ever say. Believe this – _stay away from **him**_. I can’t see this happening again. Not to anyone. I made a prom-” he shivered, “… don’t ask me to say anymore.”

Virgil’s head was spinning, “Roman…”

“Please. I can’t say anything more. Just…” he sighed, “look. I have rehearsals after class. Does Deceit know where your room is?”

“Y-yeah…” Virgil realized how that sounded, “n-not like that! He walked me back there… th-then he left…”

Roman sighed, “Dammit… look, you’re _not_ going to see him tonight. You’re not. I will pick you up after your last class, and you’re going to come to rehearsals with me.” He raised a hand when Virgil started protesting, “It doesn’t matter what you do there. You can do your homework – read – draw – just sit and scowl at me the entire time, I don’t care. Alright?”

“Uuh…” Virgil opened and closed his mouth, “Uh… why are you… what?”

“Please? I’ll ask Patton to come! It’ll be fun!”

Virgil couldn’t think straight. This was so much. Too much. Noise. _So much noise._

“I-I… I can’t…”

_Breathe. Can’t breathe. Drowning. Dying. Make it stop. Can’t stop it. Powerless._

“V?”

_Run. Scream. Fight. Scream. Cry. Die. Just die._

“ _V?_ ”

“I can’t breathe…”

“Oh… oh, my god. Okay. V- V, look at me.”

_Hands on his shoulders._

“Hey, it’s alright. I think… are you having a pan- oh, yeah, you really are.”

_Wall. Wall against his back. Slowly slipping. Sitting. Falling. Not falling._

“Keep your hands on something flat.”

_Floor. Flat. Cold. Real. Real floor._

“Breathe.”

_Slow. Too fast. Slower. Four seconds. Seven seconds. Eight seconds. Again. Again. Again._

Virgil was sitting on the floor, palms pressed down, his back flat against the wall. Roman was kneeling next to him – they were breathing in time with each other.

When… did they get here?

“… Roman..?”

“Yes. It’s me. Do you feel… any better now?”

“Y-yeah… uh… I don’t know what… happened?”

“I think you had a panic attack. It… may have been my fault – I can be a bit… overly dramatic at times.”

“A panic _what?_ ”

Roman tilted his head, “A panic… attack.”

“What?” Virgil shook his head, “I don’t know what that is.”

“It’s… it’s when… never mind. You’re okay now. Do you want to go to the nurse?”

“N-no… no…”

“Do you want me to go get Patton?”

“… Yes…”

“Okay… I’ll be right back… just keep breathing.” Roman went to touch his shoulder.

“I will be back.”

Virgil blinked and Roman was gone. He tried to move his legs – something was weighing them down. Virgil looked at his legs and saw something laid across them; something red, white, and gold. A jacket. It was warm. He didn’t move it.

 

“Oh, V…” Patton’s voice was softer than usual. He sat down beside him, a hand resting on Virgil’s wrist. Virgil impulsively moved his arm – and wrapped his fingers around Patton’s. Patton gave a gentle squeeze. “How are you feeling, roomie?”

Virgil tried to find his voice, “I’m… better.”

“That’s good.” Patton smiled, “Panic attacks can be so scary. Roman gets them all the time before he goes on stage.”

“Patton…” Roman was sitting at the other side of him, “but… yes.”

Virgil turned to him, “You? Get nervous?”

“I’m not Logan – I have emotions.”

Virgil laughed, “… Wow. I’m learning so much today.”

“Don’t get used to it, I’m still better than all of you.” Smirked Roman, “You… emo nightmare.”

Virgil nudged him, “Whatever, Sir Sing-A-Lot.”

Patton squeaked, “Oh, my god _, it’s a dream come true…_ ”

The others turned to him, “What?”

“Nothing!”

“Hm…” Roman hummed, “Well… what class have you got next?”

“Um… uh… gym?”

“Oh.”

They sat in silence for a while.

“… Wanna skip it?”

“God, yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants to draw fan art of this please tag either my TS tumblr ur-fam-ily.tumblr.com or my writing tumblr darcylovette.tumblr.com
> 
> And! If you fancy chatting with me and some other fans, you can join my public discord server! https://discord.gg/8XanACg


	8. Black Coffee

This was possibly the longest Virgil had ever gone without seeing Deceit.

True to his word, Roman had met Virgil after class – nobody had noticed they’d skipped gym – and escorted him to the auditorium. For someone who had just told him how much he didn’t like him… Roman was really going out of his way for Virgil. Was he just naturally this chivalrous?

Everything Roman had said was swimming through his head. Everything about Deceit. It was hard to make sense of it all. Then again, whenever it came to Deceit, Virgil found it so hard to focus. Even when he was just _thinking_ about him.

This alone was unsettling. If there was one thing Virgil was good at it was thinking, and overthinking. He could analyse every second of a brief conversation and note all the things he did wrong – he could write a book of all the things which could go wrong next and wouldn’t relax until he had a detailed plan-of-action for every single one. It’s who he was.

But when it came to Deceit… he couldn’t think. Everything was foggy.

Shouldn’t it be good? Having someone in your life who makes all your worries just… fade away? Without his anxieties or concerns or ability to process situations, shouldn’t he be calm? Happy? Isn’t this what he always wanted? Is this normal? Is this what being normal was?

Was Virgil the only person who wasn’t scared of him?

Or _couldn’t_ feel scared.

Should he be scared?

Maybe some distance would help Virgil to clear his head – think straight again. Think _at all._

Maybe that was best.

Besides… Virgil… had… _friends,_ now. Didn’t he?

They wanted to be his friends.

_Right?_

They said they did.

_So did Deceit._

This was different.

_Was it?_

Yes. Yes. Shut up. Shut up. _Shut up._

“V?”

Virgil dropped the pen he was holding. Where was he?

Right – the library. Yes. He’d gone to rehearsal, he and Patton sat at the back of the auditorium. They took him home. Breakfast… lunch… and here he was.

And there was Logan; his arms full of books.

“You look distracted.”

Virgil shrugged, “Sorry… tired. Hey.”

“Afternoon.” Logan nodded, placing the pile of books gently on the table, “Would you like a drink before we start? Perhaps a coffee if you’re tired.”

“Oh, I have a something…” Virgil reached into his pocket and pulled out a can of purple energy drink.

Logan looked as if he’d just pulled out a handful of dirt and smeared it all over the table, “… What is that?”

“This? This is **Monster Cat**. The highest concentration of caffeine with the lowest price – this bad boy is banned in seventeen states, and it got me through every exam I’ve ever taken.”

Logan seemed to be struggling to comprehend this, “You actually put that in your body? Why? I don’t understand.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow, “Did you not hear what I said about the caffeine? This is like twenty cups of coffee in a can.”

“That is absurd…” Logan’s pupils were shaking, “the average adult should only consume up to 400 milligrams of caffeine per day – which is **four** cups of coffee. How often do you drink this?”

“… All the time?”

Logan inhaled sharply, standing up straight. He took a second to think and, without warning, grabbed the can from Virgil’s fingers.

“Woah – dude. What?”

“You will not be drinking this.”

Into the bin it went.

“Dude!”

“This will damage your long-term health, possibly worsen your anxiety, and will reduce your productivity.” Logan sat in the seat next to an incredibly outraged Virgil, “As long as I am your tutor, you will not consume anything which will hinder your learning. If you must have some caffeine, you will drink coffee.”

Virgil was still shaking, “I… you just… you owe me fifty cents.”

“Call it a fee for my time.”

Did Logan just smile?

“I don’t even like coffee.”

“Have you ever drunk coffee?”

“Yes. When I was twelve I had s-”

“Your taste buds will have altered since then. Here.”

Virgil watched, still furious, as Logan reached into his shoulder bag. He pulled out a large, forest-green flask and two black cups. He unscrewed the lid and proceeded to fill the cups with steaming hot coffee – so black the dim library lights barely reflected off it. Was this coffee or… some kind of anti-matter?

“Here. Black is the only way to drink it, unless you are a child… or Roman.”

_It did smell good._

“… Fine…” Virgil pulled a cup towards him, “but I’m still mad at you.”

“I suppose I deserve that. Somehow.” Logan took a sip from his own, “Drink, then we can get started.”

Virgil sighed, lifted the cup to his nose. It smelled strong, but a little intoxicating. Virgil took a sip.

“Wow.”

“Hm?”

“That is… bitter.”

“Yes. Take another sip.”

Virgil nodded, drinking some more. Once the initial shock had passed, the taste was… not bad. It was smooth, rich, calming him down yet perking him up at the same time. It smelled… like Logan. Well, Logan smelled like coffee. _Yeah… coffee, ink, and aftershave… and-_

**Woah.**

Virgil, caught off guard by these unexpected thoughts, choked a little. He put the cup down, covering his mouth and coughing. Logan gave him a firm pat on the back.

“Careful. Savour it. It’s not water – well, it is mostly water…”

“I get it,” coughed Virgil, clearing his throat, “I… I think I like it.”

Logan, glancing away, nodded, “Hm. That is… good to hear. Now, do you feel ready to begin?”

“Yeah… bring it, teach.”

“Don’t call me that.”

 

“Now, can you solve this one by yourself?”

“I think so… let me just… uh huh…”

“In your head, not out loud.”

“Right… hm… there. Yeah?”

Logan shrugged, “I won’t always be there to tell you if you’re right or not.”

“… I guess.” Virgil tapped his pen.

Logan sighed, “… Yes. Well done.”

Virgil tried to hide his grin, “Yeah, I knew it was. I just wanted to hear you say it.”

“Well… that was the right answer. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“Sort of.” Virgil felt a little wickedness buzzing in his stomach, “But… I want you to say I was right.”

“… I don’t understand.”

“Say it. I was right.”

The corners of Logan’s mouth tightened, “… You were. You got the right answer.”

“Saaay it.”

Logan twitched, “… Fine. V… _you were right._ ”

Virgil smirked, “Was that so hard?”

Logan’s hands were fists, “… No…”

“You’re such a liar.”

“Why was this important to you?”

Virgil shrugged, “I don’t know. You seem like… you know…” he shrugged again, “like you have trouble saying other people are right. You got all twitchy, it was funny.”

Logan’s cheeks reddened. Was that a blush?

“Um… I see. I will… try to work on that.” He coughed, “Well, we’re almost finished here, dinner will be served in ten. Do you think you can do one more?”

Virgil nodded, “Yep. Which one.”

Logan pointed to the last equation on the page. The longest one.

A challenge was presented.

Virgil, picking up his pen and calculator, silently accepted.

 

“There. Done.”

Virgil looked at Logan.

Logan looked back.

Neither spoke.

“So… do you think that’s right?”

Virgil rubbed his lips together, “Yes.”

“Okay, well, you w-”

Virgil held up a hand, “Nope. Don’t need to know.”

Logan blinked, “You… don’t?”

“No. I’m sure I’m right, and it’s like you said. You won’t always be there to tell me I’m right.”

“I… suppose.” Logan stared down at the papers, “But… well… someone will need to tell you it’s right – eventually.”

“Probably.”

“… You really don’t want to know?”

Virgil smiled, “I did my best. I did everything I could. Maybe it’s wrong, maybe it’s right. Is it really… important to you? Me knowing I’m right?”

“N-no, of course not. This is just… unusual. If nobody tells you you’re right, then how… do you know… you were successful?”

Virgil thought for a moment, “… Something Patton told me, last night at Roman’s rehearsal. Success isn’t always measured by whether you succeed.”

“That makes no sense.”

Virgil’s watch beeped.

“Oh, time’s up. I’m meeting Roman outside, I’d better go look for him. See you at dinner?”

“… O-okay…”

Virgil shoved his things away, “Same time next week?”

“… Oh, yes. I’ll put it in my diary…”

Virgil nodded, slung his bag over his shoulder, and walked towards the door. He was so busy looking for Roman he didn’t notice Logan watching him walk away, glasses slipped down his nose.


	9. The World's A Stage

_Well,_ thought Virgil, _this is uncomfortable._

Rehearsals were every Wednesday, Monday, and sometimes on weekends. However, the opening night was only a few weeks away – and Roman was feeling the pressure.

He’d insisted of practicing his solos – and there were a lot of them – every night this past week, and finally he’d succeeded in persuading (or bullying) the others into joining him. For ‘ **support** ’.

Logan’s personal brand of support was sitting at the back of the auditorium, head in a book, or bent over a stack of homework. Virgil was near the middle, sometimes finishing his own homework, or doodling in the corners of his workbooks.

Patton had been hauled on stage to help Roman practice his lines – and what he had in enthusiasm, he lacked in… everything else.

“ _You can’t say this isn’t real,_ ” Roman’s hands were resting on his chest, his face pulled down in perfectly staged agony, “ _I know what I feel, and my heart will not yield, loook how faaar we’ve cooome!_ ”

Patton was staring at Roman with eyes the size of dinner plates, his hands moving to his own chest. He was smiling so wide it must be hurting his face.

Roman was staring back, an arm outstretched before him. He looked to the audience, then back at Patton, then back to the audience, and then…

“Patton!”

“Oh, shoot!” Patton jumped, “Sorry! I got distracted! You’re just _so good!_ ”

Roman sighed, “… Alright, lets take five, people.” He clapped his hands together, as if he were addressing an entire cast, “Let’s take five… or ten.”

“Thank god…” whispered Virgil.

“Logan!” Patton shouted to the back of the room, “Any notes?!”

Virgil turned in his seat.

Logan had taken off his glasses, apparently mulling his words carefully, “Hm… two. I hate this, and can we go now?”

Roman glared from the stage, “You just don’t appreciate theatre, Richard the Nerd!”

Virgil covered his mouth to hide his smirk. He wouldn’t give Roman the satisfaction.

“… You’ve used that one before.”

“Psh, I know! It’s a classic!” Roman glared for a moment, “… Alright. You guys can go. Patton, you’re on V-Duty today.”

Virgil felt something twist in his chest every time he said that. He knew it was a joke _– he thought he did –_ but it made it sound like he was some kind of task. A burden. A chore they had to share between them.

Patton had dropped his phone in surprise, barely catching it between his fingertips, “Uh… Roman…” he laughed nervously, “I’m meeting my family tonight – we’d planned this weeks ago. I told you last night.”

 Roman tilted his head, “You did? When?”

“Last night, at dinner! You were talking to Logan, and-”

“Yeah, that might be why I forgot.” He shrugged, “Logan?”

“Busy.”

“Doing what?”

“Leaving. Bye.”

Watching him go, Roman – defeated – turned back to Virgil, who felt significantly worse than before.

“Roman…” Virgil sighed, “it’s fine. I haven’t seen _you know who_ in weeks. I can walk to my room by myself.”

Patton gave Roman a look of concern, who huffed in response. “No. Don’t. Just… come on, let’s go.”

 

Roman and Virgil walked in silence across the courtyard, both painfully aware that this was the first time they’d really been alone since their altercation with Deceit. This was only made worse by the fact nobody seemed to want to talk about him.

_And Virgil had a lot of questions about Deceit._

_Who was he? Why did the others hate him so much? What did Roman mean by **‘again’**? Was Deceit even his real name? What’s with the tattoo – and how did he get away with it? _

But every time he tried to bring him up he received a different, but similarly useless response. Patton would get shaky and change the subject – Roman would shake his head, reminding Virgil that he couldn’t say anymore – Logan would simply state ‘ _no comment_ ’, though his eye would start to twitch a little.

It was frustrating. But the way they insisted on accompanying him everywhere was even more frustrating. When he didn’t feel like a burden, he felt like a child – especially when it was clear how much they were hiding from him.

The sky was completely black by now – winter was definitely on its way. It was a little hard to see where they were going, Virgil had to stare at his feet to avoid tripping again. Out of all three of his self-appointed bodyguards, Roman was the one he was most afraid to embarrass himself in front of. Maybe it was due to how much he looked like the guys who tortured him at his old school.

Preppy clothes – check. Perfectly styled hair – check. The general aura of a superiority complex – big check. But Virgil had to remind himself, again and again, that Roman wasn’t like _that_. Well, the clothes, hair, and attitude were all there… but he wasn’t cruel. He hadn’t brought up Virgil’s little meltdown in the corridor – no, he _helped_ him. He knew that.

So why couldn’t he shake the feeling that any minute Roman would start mocking him? Shoving him? Take his things? Call him-

“May I help you?”

Oh god. He’d been staring at him again.

“Sorry… I just can’t see anything out here.”

“Really?” Roman frowned, “I can see you perfectly – even in all that black.”

Virgil scowled.

_He’s kidding. He’s kidding. He’s kidding._

Roman laughed, “You’re doing it again.”

“What?”

Roman imitated Virgil’s expression.

“I… do **not** look like that.”

“Well, my eyes are not nearly as dark or brooding as yours…” he brushed their shoulders together.

Virgil felt goose bumps running down his arms, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. Wait, he wasn’t cold, and _why was his heart pounding?_

“Sh-shut up.”

“What, no come back, Dark Ruffalo?”

“… I’ll owe you one.”

 

_Two floors later…_

“You know... you **really** don’t have to walk me everywhere.” Virgil kept his gaze down, one hand gripped tight to his elbow, “I know you’d rather be at the auditorium… you do need the practice.”

Roman clicked his tongue, “… I’m going to ignore that.”

“Told you I owed you one.” Virgil sighed, “But I’m serious. You don’t have to.”

“V… stop.”

“But it’s true. I know that you don’t like me, and-”

“V.”

“- and you think you have to be my friend because of Patton-”

“V.”

“- but you don’t. And you don’t have to try and take care of me. I can handle Deceit myself, you know-”

“Stop.” Roman snapped, grabbing Virgil by the shoulders. “Stop it. Stop talking like that. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

Virgil felt his arms shaking, “I’m not some kid! We’re the same age! I-if Deceit finds me, I’ll just walk away. I won’t talk to him! Even though you _won’t tell me why…_ ” Roman winced, “… I don’t need you to look after me. I’m not scared of Deceit.”

Roman grimaced, “… I have heard that before. Word for word.”

“From who?”

“… You cannot face him alone.” Roman shook his head, “You can’t. He’s like… you know when you go to… what, Hot Topic?”

“Original.”

“Well, imagine going into Hot Topic and there’s a gaggle of sales assistance; they all work commission, their rents are all due, and their kids _desperately_ need braces.”

Virgil blinked, “… Wow… that’s a visual.”

“I’m a story teller. Now, if you go in there alone… you know you’re going to walk out with bags and bags of things you don’t need, don’t want, and will eventually regret. But when you’re with your friends… you don’t. You stop each other from making stupid purchases, talk each other out of bad choices. The sales assistants _know_ this… so they don’t bother you.”

“… Did you have a point?”

Roman groaned, “Don’t you get it? Deceit _is_ the Hot Topic. He’s most powerful when he’s alone – _that’s_ why you haven’t seen him. Because you _haven’t been alone!_ It’s not about whether or not you can handle him – because _you can’t._ ”

Deep down, Virgil knew he was probably telling the truth. However, the rest of him wasn’t listening to reason. He opened his mouth to say something he might regret… sighed, and pulled himself from Roman’s grip.

“I can walk the rest of the way. Go find your real friends – the ones you **want** to be around.”

He stormed off, but Roman wasn’t giving up.

“Is this about what I’d said? V… V, wait!”

Virgil walked faster.

“V… I didn’t mean it like that. I was… I was angry! Not at you, at-”

“You did mean it.”

Roman groaned, running his fingers through his hair, “Fine! Yes – I did mean it. I didn’t like you. I still don’t, but- wait! I don’t… _not_ like you, either!”

Virgil snorted, “Wow, I’m swooning.”

“Look, it’s just… I… stop!” he grabbed for Virgil’s shirt, who finally came to a halt. Not because he was out of breath or anything… “V… let me explain. But you must listen. Just give me a minute – one minute. Please?”

“… _Fine._ ”

Roman sighed, “Thank you. As I said, I don’t like _or_ dislike you. It’s not because of you… it’s mainly because of me. I grew up around people like _me,_ because… well, you’ve been to middle school. Boys who are different, who like different music and different fashion… it’s hard. But you know what? I felt the same way about Patton, but… well, it’s hard not to like Patton. He’s the human equivalent of a basket of puppies! I… felt the same about Logan, too! But Patton wanted he and I to be friends. I **hated** Logan when we first met. We used to argue constantly. But I stuck it out for Patton, and now I do sort of… appreciate his company.”

Virgil wanted to say something, but Roman still had twenty seconds left.

“So… now Patton wants _us_ to be friends. So, I’m trying… but you are making it tough. Y-you… you’re always so quiet around me. Yes, I’ve not been the best conversation starter, but you give me _nothing_. I want us to be friends… well, I want us to like each other. For Patton. Is that… alright? V?”

 “… Um…” Virgil could barely do more than stare at him, “I… don’t think anyone has ever… been that honest with me.”

The corner of Roman’s mouth twitched up, “I have been told I don’t have much of a filter. But I’d never lie to you. If nothing else – you can trust me.”

_‘You can trust me.’_

Virgil shivered.

Roman frowned, “… Are you cold?”

“A-a little… it’s fine. I think I need to get to bed.”

“Of course. Here.” Virgil watched as he shrugged off his jacket – the same one he’d used as a blanket all those days ago – and draped it gently over Virgil’s shoulders, “Well… may I escort you to your room, young sir?” Roman winked.

_God, his eyes sparkled._

“… Sure… my knight.”

The boys kept eye contact for several long, silent moments.

“… Lets never call each other that again.”

“Agreed.”

“Edgy Tales.”

“Tinder-ella.”

“I missed this.”

 

Closing the door behind him, Virgil bid Roman goodnight. Exhausted, but not quite tired, he leaned back against it, letting out a long sigh.

He was still wearing Roman’s jacket. It was quite silky, or was that velvet? Patton would know. He fiddled it between his fingers… which was oddly comforting. Sort of like when he held his amethyst, but less sharp. He could squeeze it tight.

Was it creepy if he said it smelled good? Well, clearly Roman washed it regularly… was that lavender? Yeah… no wonder it was so relaxing to hold. Lavender… incense… it was calming. Maybe Virgil should start burning some incense…

**Bang bang bang.**

Suddenly, a sharp knock boomed right next to Virgil’s ear. Startled, he jumped back, clutching the jacket tight to his chest. _The jacket… it must be Roman. He must have come back for it._

“Phew…” he laughed, grabbing the handle “Coming. You can have it back, nobody wanted to buy it-”  

 

“ _Virgil._ ”

 

Oh, god, no.

“D-Deceit…”

One hand against the doorframe, the other resting on his hip – Deceit wasn’t smiling.

“Oh, you remembered my name? Strange… since you seem to have forgotten everything else I’ve told you.” His arm dropped to his side, taking a step forward, “Remember when I warned you to stay away from Logan? Remember when I told you to give Patton space with _his_ friends? Do you not listen to me, Virgil? Is this how you treat all your friends? Are you really, _really_ as despicable as everyone says you are?”

Virgil shook his head rapidly back and forth, refusing to even look at the man in his doorway, “G-get out. I don’t want to be around you anymore.”

“… Why?”

“… I don’t trust you. I… I don’t trust you. I want you to leave… just leave me alone.”

“Virgil… you’re hurting me.” His voice was so empty, “I’m upset. Why don’t you care about anyone’s feelings but your own?”

“Shut up.” Virgil snarled, “Shut up. Shut up-” something had grabbed his shirt and launched him forward, holding him too tightly against their chest.

“Don’t you speak to me like that. Don’t you **ever** speak to me like that.” His breath was so hot against Virgil’s face, like he was breathing flames, “Look at me. **Virgil.** I said look at me.”

Virgil shook his head. Deceit responded by violently shaking his whole body.

**“Now.”**

Defeated, Virgil looked up.

“Good. Now… tell me again… tell me to shut up.”

Virgil’s lip was quivering; he tried to bite down on it.

“Do it, since you’re so brave. So brave without your _‘friends’_. Tell me to shut up. Tell me to leave. Because I don’t think you want me to go… do you?”

_Why was everything so foggy again? No… go away… make it go away…_

 “You want me to stay… don’t you.”

“N… nn…”

“You do. You want me to stay… do you want me to stay the night? Oh, my… you dirty, little-”

Something hard and fast must have connected with the side of Deceit’s face, because all of the sudden… he was lying on the floor, yelling out in pain.

Virgil stepped back, rubbing his eyes.

He looked down.

Deceit was on his side, his hat skewed, a palm pressed against his tattooed eye.

Virgil looked up.

Roman was standing next to him, his arm still outstretched, fingers clenched into a fist.

_What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck._

“Roman?”

Roman’s eyes seemed glossed over, his entire body shaking.

“Roman!”

That seemed to wake him up. Roman turned to look at Virgil, slowly lowering his arm, “… I… f-forgot my jacket.”

“Oh…” Virgil bent down and picked it up, “um… here.” He handed it towards him.

Roman blinked, “… You keep it.”

“Right. Sure.” Virgil dropped it. “Thanks.”

Something cursed below them.

“You…” he was shaking even worse than Roman, bruises already starting to form where his fist had struck him, “… you haven’t hit me like that since we were kids, Roman.”

_Kids?_

“I learned to stop hurting people to get what I want. Unlike you… unlike your _father…_ ”

_Father?_

Deceit smirked, though it caused him to wince, “I could get you thrown out of here for this. You know that, don’t you?”

_No. Not Roman. Not Roman._

“Deceit, n-”

Roman held up a finger, and Virgil immediately went quiet, “It’s alright, V. He’s not going to tell on me… it’s not his style.”

Deceit chuckled, “You think you know me so well, and what I’m capable of? Well…” he gingerly climbed to his feet, “… you may have a point. Getting you sent away is too easy. It’s no fun if I don’t get to be there to watch you suffer. But this isn’t over…” their eyes remained locked at Deceit began to back away, “… you’re going to regret this. I’ll see you very soon… _Virgil._ ”

He turned away and soon he was gone.

The boys stared at each other for what felt like an eternity.

“… Your name is _Virgil?_ ”


	10. Family Secrets

“… Your name is _Virgil?_ ”

_No. Say no. Make up a name._

“Uh.”

_Literally any name beginning with a V._

“Uuh…”

_Oh, my god, just pick a name. Doesn’t matter which. Anything is better than Virgil._

“… N… No..?”

“But… he called you-”

“It’s… um…”

_Say something. Any word in the English dictionary. Any word ever spoken by any human being ever._

“Um… bye.”

_What are you doing?_

“W-wait-“

_Don’t close the door._

_Wow, okay you closed it._

_Now Roman’s knocking on the door._

_Look what you did, you moron._

“Virgil!” Roman’s shouts were muffled through the door, “Or, whomever you are, come out! Let’s talk about this. Please?”

Virgil wanted to open the door. He also wanted to climb under the covers and never speak to another living person.

“Please come out?” Roman knocked again, quieter this time, “I won’t tell the others – not unless you wanted me to, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Virgil is a… _fine_ name. What is it, Latin?”

_Speak, god dammit. Say something to him. The dude just flat-out punched a guy in the face for you, and you just slammed a door in his. Deceit was right about you…_

“I’m sorry…” Virgil croaked, resting his palms against the door, “I don’t… I want to be alone… please understand…”

“I-I want to understand! But… I’m worried.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to leave you alone! You shouldn’t be alone, not now…” there was a pause, “… not ever.”

Virgil felt his fingers trembling against the wood, “Y-you’ve done enough for me. I don’t want… anything…”

He heard Roman laughing softly, “I’ll be fine. More than fine – I’m _Roman_. Guys like Deceit are… no more than common villains.”

Virgil scoffed – there was that ego again, “What does that make me? The damsel? The princess? The victim?”

“No! You’re… you’re… unlucky, I suppose. You aren’t the first, and you will not be the last. I can’t protect them all, but I can at least help you. Let me help you. Let me… in.”

Virgil closed his eyes, pressing his forehead gently against the door.

_Somehow, he had a feeling Roman was doing the exact same thing._

Was this truly all this was about? He said this was because of Patton… but was it? Maybe it wasn’t even about Virgil – but _something_ must have happened between Roman and Deceit. Something back when they were kids, something about Deceit’s father, something he wouldn’t talk about.

Clearly Deceit wasn’t a good person. He’d hurt people… did Roman feel responsible? Is that why he was going to such lengths to help Virgil… to make up for the ones he’d let down.

_But who were they?_

“Let me stay… at least until Patton gets back. You can spend the whole time insulting me, if you want. You can punch me too – pretend I’m Deceit! Or someone else you hate!”

Virgil smirked, “I… don’t want to punch you. Patton would be mad at me. Well, not mad, just disappointed, which is so much worse…”

“He won’t mind, Logan almost punched me once.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’ll tell you all about it if you let me in?”

This wasn’t what Virgil wanted to talk about… but it was tempting.

“… I’ll let you in… on one condition.”

“Yes?”

“You answer everything I ask you, unless it’s about someone other than you and Deceit. Otherwise… I’m not opening the door – it gets pretty cold in that hallway… and I have your jacket.”

Roman was sighing, “Ugh… alright. Fine.”

Virgil twisted the handle and let him in.

 

Roman was sitting on Patton’s bed, Virgil on his own. Roman was flexing his fingers – his knuckles were red, it looked as if the skin had split a little. Virgil felt awful.

“Ask away.”

“Okay… well, first of all… you knew each other as kids?”

Roman glowered into space, as if staring down memories he’d rather leave behind, “Yes. Our families were friends, so to speak. Our fathers grew up together, and… we lived next door to each other.”

“Oh, wow…” Virgil wasn’t expecting them to know each other _that_ well, “you were like… childhood friends or something?”

“Not exactly.” Roman sighed, “Deceit’s father ran some… _businesses_ on the side. My father never told me what they were, but it caused them to fall out. But our mothers were still friends before she passed, and… not wanting to draw attention they put up a façade for the people. They insisted that **he** and I remain chummy, but we weren’t exactly happy with that.

Deceit was everything you’d expect from a rich but ignored child. He used to try and burn ants with magnifying glasses, he’d bully the other kids unless they followed him around and did whatever he said, and he got away with it. For some reason, teachers and other adults we knew had a hard time standing up to his father. The apple does not fall far from the tree, let’s say.”

Virgil thought about his own father and felt sick, “… It doesn’t?”

“Not always, but as apples go… Deceit was as rotten as you could get.”

“Nice.”

“Thanks, I’ve had that saved for years. But yes, we knew each other as children, he was an evil cretin, and at one point… I did punch him.”

“How old were you?”

“Only eight. I was not proud of it. We were visiting a museum with school – Deceit had smuggled in this flask of acid he’s stolen from his dad’s _secret lab in the basement_.” he raised a brow, “I caught him about to throw it at one of the paintings… and I knew why he’d chosen this particular one. It was this… absolutely beautiful Monet painting. I’d been so excited to see it up close, I kept asking our guide question after question. Deceit must have heard me, and… well. I had caught him. I didn’t have time to find a teacher, and trying to grab it from him would cause the flask to spill over both our hands. I panicked… and I punched him. Right in the eye.”

Virgil was enthralled, “Was the painting okay?”

Roman nodded, “Yes, the flask spilled all over the floor… and…”

“… And?”

Roman had gone white, “… Some of it, not much… but some did…”

Virgil’s eyes widened, “You got burned by the acid?”

“Not me. **Deceit.** ”

“What?!”

“Did you ever wonder why he has that tattoo? Why he only wears _one_ contact lens? It is because of **me.** Some of the acid caught his face… not enough to seriously hurt, but enough to give him very, very bad burns. All I remember after that was… him screaming.”

Roman now resembled a ghost of his former self – pale, his shoulders sloping, gaze fixed on the floor. Even his hair had gone limp.

“Not wanting to draw attention to his businesses, Deceit’s dad paid off the school and museum to keep what happened quiet. By the time he was out of hospital, Deceit and I had been transferred to different schools. I didn’t see him again for years.”

“Until?”

“We started here. My father doesn’t know he’s here, I know he’d pull me out if he did. But I don’t want him to. I love it here, and I love my friends, and I won’t let… anyone take that away. Deceit could have me kicked out in a heartbeat, but he didn’t. He had a score to settle.

And yes, he’d gotten that tattoo to cover the scars the acid had left – he’d lost a lot of sight in one eye, hence the contact.”

“B-but…” Virgil had so many more questions, “… why yellow?”

Roman shrugged, “I guess he likes the whole snake-aesthetic he’s got going on. So… there you have it. Now you know our history, and… now you know why he looks the way he does.”

Virgil had to lean back against the wall, his brain struggling to process these revelations. This couldn’t be real. His tale was so… awful. Roman – confident, knightly, regal, kind-hearted, handsome-but-boy-does-he-know-it Roman. How could this have happened?

“… Do you want to ask anything else?”

“Just one thing. Th-then I’ll never ask you anything again. You said… Deceit could get you kicked out of here, if he wanted. Why?”

Roman laughed joylessly, “His father owns half the academy.”

“ _What?_ ”

Before either could speak again the door had opened. Patton was back, and he looked pretty confused by what he’d walked into.

“Roman!” he glanced between them, putting on a smile, “How nice to see you… on my bed?”

Suddenly, the old Roman was back. He leapt to his feet, a charming grin spread across his face, “I was simply keeping an eye on Vi- V until you came back.”

“Oh!” Patton laughed, “Oh, that’s so nice of you! You two are becoming such good friends, I love it!”

Virgil forced on a frown, “Whatever.”

Roman shot him a glance, “Well, I’d better get back to my room. It’s been… quite the day. Goodnight, Patton. Goodnight… V.”

When Roman was gone, Patton jumped down onto Virgil’s bed, causing both to be thrown up and down a little, “So… you and Roman, huh?”

Virgil turned and stared at him, “What?! Me and Roman what?”

“You know, becoming friends!”

_Was he being earnest?_

_Of course he was – it’s Patton._

“I think so?”

Patton clapped excitedly, “Yay! I’m so glad! You’re both bonding **way** faster than he did with Logan – did you know Logan once almost punched him in the face?”

“I did… but I don’t know the story.”

Virgil was struggling to listen as Patton told the tale, simply nodding and humming whenever it felt appropriate. His mind was still racing with the events of that night.

He finally knew the history between Deceit and Roman.

One down.

_Two to go._


	11. The Mind Palace

It had been weeks since Virgil so much as heard Deceit’s name – and it was the best few weeks he’d had in a while.

The others still insisted on walking him everywhere, but it didn’t feel like he was being escorted or protected as much as it felt like… walking with friends. Even Logan didn’t seem so cold and robotic around him – a surprise to everyone.

He continued his tutoring, hung out with them during meals, chatted with Patton at night – even Roman’s nightly rehearsals didn’t feel as painful.

Was this… good? Is this what good was?

_Was this a normal life?_

 

Tuesday had arrived once more, and Virgil’s final class was over before he knew it. Virgil liked to take extra time putting his things away, letting the crowds part through the door before attempting to exit it himself. Once it was clear, Virgil picked up his bag and headed towards it himself. Logan would be waiting for him in the library.

Their tutoring sessions followed a strict routine – Logan would pour them both some coffee, they sat and drank in silence for a while, then they’d work on Virgil’s maths homework. Once that was completed, if they still had time, Logan would give him some pre-prepared questions or equations to answer – to make sure he understood the subject at hand.  

Part of him didn’t want to admit it, but it was working. He barely had to ask for help during their shared classes anymore, and every session he finished his homework faster and faster. Besides, Logan was actually alright to spend time with. He didn’t talk loud or excessively, unless he became fixated on a specific point or subject or lecture at Virgil’s expense. He was patient, too. He’d make a pretty good teacher, if he ever chose to be.

Well, maybe not… tutoring Virgil was one thing, but a whole room of teenagers? He’d kill them and then himself.

Smiling at the thought of Logan screaming at the imaginary class, Virgil took out his phone to text Logan, letting him know he was on his way.

But he already had a text.

 **Logan:** _Don’t go to the library. I’m outside your classroom._

Virgil frowned and looked to the door – well, there he was.

Logan was dressed in a black buttoned shirt, complete with small, round cufflinks on the ends of his sleeves. He looked smarter than usual, was he going for a job interview?

“Hey…” Virgil walked over, causing Logan to look up from his phone, “Uh… hey?”

“V.” Logan nodded, his way of saying hello, “Please excuse my sudden arrival, I will be sure to give you more warning in future. However, there has been a last-minute change of plan. I will not be tutoring you today.”

“Oh.” Virgil felt genuinely disappointed, though he wasn’t sure why.

He wouldn’t have to study maths after school… he could go back to his room and take a nap. Why wasn’t he happy – _was Logan turning him into a nerd?_ “You came all this way to tell me that? You could have just texted me…”

“I prefer to speak in person.”

“Oh… well, see you then.” Virgil turned to walk away.

“Where are you going?”

“Uh…” he stopped, “to my room? You just cancelled our session, so-”

“I said I would not be tutoring you today, I said nothing about our session.”

Virgil turned around. Logan’s expression was the same half-bored half-curious it always was, “… So, what are we doing?”

“Well.” Logan crossed his arms loosely, “You have been making excellent progress – much faster than I had planned for. Therefore, I will not be tutoring you today. I believe you have earned some time to relax.”

“Are you… taking me to a spa or something?”

“That’s ridiculous – students are not allowed off premises during weekdays, plus the idea of strangers trying to touch me makes me want to… vomit. But I am taking you somewhere. Follow me.”

He set off before Virgil had a chance to respond, who was forced to run to catch up to him.

“Can you tell me where we’re going?”

“Why? We will be there before I finish speaking.”

“I mean… I feel like I’m being kidnapped.”

“Nonsense. If you were being kidnapped, you’d be-”

“Yeah, I know I’m not _actually_ being kidnapped!” Virgil sighed, “This is just a little sudden… and weird.”

“Hm.” Logan thought for a moment, “Perhaps this could be seen as slightly concerning… I will keep this in mind.”

“Great.” They walked for a little while longer, “… So where are we going?”

“Here.”

Logan had stopped outside what looked like an abandoned classroom, with something thick and dark covering the windows. Logan was fishing something out of his pocket – a key.

_Oh, no. This was where Logan was going to kill him._

Once the door was unlocked, Logan pushed it open with one hand, the other gesturing Virgil inside.

“… I’m sorry, what?”

“Oh,” Logan gestured again, “this means ‘ _go inside_ ’.”

“Yeah, I know what… never mind.” Sighing, and a little wary, Virgil stepped inside.

It didn’t look like a murder den.

The room was much smaller than the other classrooms. There were no desks or chairs, either. Logan flipped on a light, and Virgil could see the walls were a deep blue, and there was even a matching rug covering the beige carpet. A few framed posters had been hung up; a black-and-white map of the world, some kind of line-art, and a minimalistic sketch of a violin.

The furniture was incredibly strange for a classroom – a deep-green sofa was pressed against the far wall, covered by a grey throw. A potted cactus and some sort of lily sat on a table in the corner, a small jug of water sat beneath. By one wall was a large bookshelf, overflowing with books. It also boasted some very Logan-esque trinkets; a spyglass, busts of Socrates and Alexander Hamilton, a wooden carving of a barn owl, and a tiny globe. Unlike the other classrooms, this one was warm and didn’t smell like pencils and puberty. There was an oil infuser sitting on a coffee table in the middle of the room, as well as a couple of science-themed magazines and a single coaster.

“What is this?”

Logan closed the door behind him, “This is where I come to when I need to unwind. Despite what you think, I am not a robot. I do get… stressed sometimes, and it is not productive. When this happens, I come here to sit, medicate, and let myself relax for a little while. Sometimes I come here when I need to think and get some peace and quiet – it’s my… Mind Palace, so to speak.”

Virgil began to peruse the bookshelf, “How were you able to do this?”

“Simple. I am the smartest person in this school. Sometimes, this has benefits.” He started to pace, “This room used to be a classroom, but not it is no longer used. So, the teachers have granted it to me. Only I have the key.”

“Woah…” Virgil couldn’t stop looking around, “this is… pretty nice.” He turned back to him, “Do the others know about this?”

Logan hesitated, “… No. This room is just for me. Do not think I am being selfish, or that I do not enjoy their company, but…”

Virgil nodded, “I get it. Everyone needs their alone time.”

Logan seemed relieved, “Yes. I understand that you have had… quite a lot to handle as of late. I thought that maybe this room could be of use to you. A chance to forget about these problems, at least for a while. I felt this would be a better use of your time than studying, especially since you do not need as much help anymore.”

Virgil smiled, and didn’t try to hide it this time. “So, you brought me here to… hang out?”

Logan’s eye twitched, “I brought you here so you could rest and relax, gather your thoughts or leave them at the door. I will be here too, as I wish to do the same.” He gestured to the couch, and they both sat down. It was surprisingly comfy.

“How do you feel now?”

“Good.” Virgil nodded, “It… smells really good in here.”

“Ah, yes.” Logan leaned forward, “I chose lavender and jasmine oils, to help you to relax. You may have noticed my Spathiphyllum over there,” he pointed to the flower, “a Japanese peace lily. They help to oxygenate the room. I also prepared a playlist for you.”

Virgil lowered his brows, “You did?”

“Yes. Some natural rainforest soundtracks, whale sounds, white noise, whichever you would find most comforting.”

“… N-nature sounds good.”

Logan nodded, plugging his phone into a small portable speaker. He placed this on the coffee table, “I prefer white noise myself, but I do appreciate the sounds of nature, too.”

“I’m… glad.”

“Do you still feel alright?”

Virgil nodded, “Yeah, I feel… really good, actually. This was… kind of you. Thanks.” He glanced at Logan long enough to catch a hint of red in his cheeks.

“You are welcome, I suppose.” He took a deep breath and leaned back into the sofa, abandoning his usually perfect posture, “We can stay here as long as needed. I will text the others if you wish to stay late, I do not mind. I enjoy being here too.”

Virgil felt his eyes closing, “I can see why… can I live here?”

Logan made a humming sound. Was that a laugh? “I don’t think the faculty would be quite so lenient. But I do understand what you mean – escape is a temptation not easily fought, but sometimes… you just need to stop fighting. Let go.”

Virgil nodded, “Yeah… I guess we both need to do that, huh?”

“That is why I brought you here.”

“Right, yeah.” The couch was so soft, Virgil felt himself sinking down into it, “You… sure you don’t mind me being here? I thought this was your… alone-time place?”

“Usually, I would mind, yes. But it is fine. You need this. I need this. And your company is not… terrible.”

Virgil grinned, “Are you hitting on me or something?” he felt Logan stiffen a little next to him.

“I can still kick you out.”

“No, no, I’ll behave. I’m just… you’re being very nice to me.”

“Am I not supposed to?”

Virgil shrugged, “I don’t know. I know Roman was being nice to me for Patton’s sake, and… because he’s worried about me. But you were… already nice to me. You offered to tutor me before you even knew about De-”

“I offered to tutor you because you needed it, not because I wanted to be nice. I enjoy tutoring – you wanted to learn. It was… beneficial, to both of us.”

“Right. But… you’re really patient with me. Even when I struggle… does that not drive you mad or something?”

“I lose my patience with those who are ignorant,” Logan explained, “those who do not try or do not care. You are trying, and it does seem that you care. You want my help, and you are grateful for it. Therefore, you have earned my patience.”

“Oh. Cool.” For some reason, Virgil felt a little twinge in his chest. “I… I get it.”

Logan must have sensed something wasn’t right, “If it makes you feel any better, your company is not just not terrible. It’s… fine. Sometimes I prefer it to the others.”

Virgil’s eyes snapped open, “What?”

“Don’t overthink it, but yes. You are far easier to tutor, you appreciate coffee the same way I do, and you do not give me a headache. You are not overly-excitable, even when you are feeling anxious. I may not have known you long, but… I believe you see the world much clearer than most. You don’t fixate on dreams or fantasies or things without meaning… you are present. You process things. You understand reality. You may focus too heavily on things which are threats, or things which make you nervous – because you are cautious. Vigilant. Therefore, I do find your presence more… comforting than those who live carelessly or… choose to ignore danger until it is too late.” His voice became tighter, he cleared his throat, “I will be here to help keep you safe from danger, but other than that I believe you can handle yourself pretty well. I do… admire these things about you, V.”

Virgil felt warm, “Aw… you like me.”

“Falsehood.”

“Whatever. I… guess I… you’re alright.”

Logan exhaled, “… Good.”

 

They sat for what felt like hours – sunk down into the couch, listening to the sounds of birds and the rustle of trees, the perfectly blended oils relaxing them deeper.

Virgil felt calm.

It wasn’t long before Deceit popped into his head. More specifically, the way Deceit made him feel. The way his mind would feel foggy, his thoughts would get jumbled, his fears and concerns replaced with confusion and complacency. He used to think that was the closest he could get to feeling calm, but he was wrong.

If anything, he could think more clearly now. His thoughts were organised, his heart rate had slowed down. He was focused. He could actually think about Deceit without getting muddled and light-headed.

He glanced over at Logan – his eyes were closed, his face impassive. It was impossible to tell if he was asleep or not. This may have been the first time Virgil really looked at him; his cheeks had the tiniest hint of stubble, his jaw was strong, his usually combed hair was a little messed up at the back.

_Oh fuck, he’s handsome too._

Virgil blinked hard, looking away. Yeah, sure… in a nerdy, grumpy kind of way. He guessed some people might be into that.

Logan made a soft, tired sound in the back of his throat, sitting up and opening his eyes, “… What time is it?” he muttered, reaching for his phone. “Okay. We have some time before dinner if you’re hungry?”

Virgil shrugged, “Kind of.”

He was hungry, but oddly he didn’t want to leave.

“Well… I don’t want you to miss dinner. Come on,” he stood up, “we should head down there.”

Virgil sighed, standing up, “Sure…” his gaze landed on the bookshelf. One book in particular stood out to him, “wait… is that… _Complete Poems?_ ”

Logan looked surprised, “You… know Dorothy Parker?”

“Yeah!” Virgil reached over and gently took it from the shelf, “She’s my favourite poet. I used to have this exact book but…” his grip tightened, “… it got lost.”

“… I did not take you for the poetry type. Then again, I can see why someone as dry and witty as she would appeal to you.”

Virgil smirked, “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Logan watched him for a moment, “Do you write or just read?”

“I-I, um… I… write it sometimes.”

“… May I read some?”

Virgil felt his newly-found peace start to melt away, “Um…”

“You don’t have to. I know writing can be very personal, like your music. It’s just that I have studied literature and poetry quite… extensively. If you would like I could… take a look at what you’ve done and possibly give you a few pointers. Let you know what you did well and what you could improve upon.”

Virgil thought about it, “… I’ve never really shared it with anyone before. I figured it was stupid… people would laugh at it.”

“Is your poetry humorous?”

Virgil couldn’t help but snicker, “… Alright.” He grabbed his bag and fished out a tattered notebook. “Here…” he pressed it into Logan’s waiting hands, “don’t read it in front of me. I’ll… be embarrassed.”

Logan nodded, “Very well. I shall take a look tonight and… let you know what I think tomorrow. At breakfast?”

Virgil smiled, feeling his heartrate racing up again, “Sounds good… just… don’t be too harsh on me?”

Logan placed the book carefully into his own bag, “Thank you. Would you like to borrow _Complete Poems_ in the meantime?”

“I… thank you. Yes, I-I’d love to.”

“Good.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, V.”

“… Virgil.”

“Hm?”

“My name is Virgil.”

 


	12. Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow, this fic has reached 100 kudos. I've never had so many on anything I've written before. I have been blown away by all your responses - you're all so kind. It's an absolute pleasure to write for you all, I am thrilled that this little self-indulgent idea of mine has made so many people smile. Thank you all so so much, and I hope you enjoy this extra long chapter.
> 
> Warning: there's a few mentions of homophobia in this chapter.

Christmas was just around the corner. Most of campus had become invisible beneath a thick sheet of snow, and the frost which clung to the empty trees made them look like ice sculptures. Thankfully, this had persuaded the faculty to crank up the heating in every room – including the usually inhabitable classrooms.

Like other boarding schools, Sanders Academy hosted some students over the winter holidays, such as those who lived too far away. As long as you had your parent or legal guardian’s permission – which Virgil acquired easily. He didn’t mind in the slightest, plus he wouldn’t be the only one here.

Logan was staying to catch up on his studies and extra-curricular activities, as his family did not celebrate Christmas or any other religious holidays.

Roman’s father was spending December in Japan on business, and wouldn’t be back until early January. Not wishing to spend two weeks in an empty house, he opted to stay on campus as well.

Virgil simply didn’t want to go home. His family never had the best Christmases. His mother would pass out drunk from a bottle of sherry by midday, his father and his uncle would get into screaming matches over nothing, his granddad would smoke cigars and complain about the “homosexual agenda”, and Virgil would be forced to make himself something to eat and hide in his bedroom the whole day.

Patton was the only one going home. Virgil almost had to force him to do so – he kept insisting he should stay with the others.

After all…

… there was _another student_ staying behind that year.

 

The last day of term finally arrived, and nobody was working particularly hard. Most of the teachers just put on films, seeing as every student was watching the clock instead of the blackboard. The buzz of anticipation at the prospect of two homework-free, class-free, penalty-free weeks had everyone shaking from excitement and the cold.

The last bell of the day rang and the mass-shuffle through the hallways were worse than ever. Once it was calm, Virgil headed to his room.

 

He knocked a couple times before pushing open the door, met by a smiling Patton struggling to close his suitcase. Sitting on it didn’t seem to be working.

“Hey, roomie!” said Patton, incredibly out of breath, “I… was just… finishing… up.”

“Hey.” Virgil smiled, closing the door behind him, “It’s going to be quiet without you.”

Patton laughed, “W-well… if it gets too quiet, you know… I’m only a phone call away.”

“I know.” Virgil sat down on his bed.

“Are you really not going home this year?” Patton had given up on the suitcase and was now using it as a chair, “I don’t know much about your family, but… do you really not want to see them?”

Virgil shrugged, looking down, “My family’s not… amazing. Honestly, some time away from them is the best present they could give me.” He laughed, but stopped when he saw the look in Patton’s eyes.

“That’s just… awful.” He looked like he wanted to cry, “Nobody deserves to feel that way about their family… well, it sounds to me that they don’t deserve you.”

Virgil smirked, “… Thank you…” he decided to accept Patton’s statement, it was easier to do than admit how he really felt.

Patton thought for a moment, “I have an idea! How about next year… if you wanted! You could… come spend the holidays with my family. I know they’d love you! We have a great time, and… it would be even better with you there.”

Virgil felt a deep rush of affection in his chest, “… Would they not mind?”

Patton waved a hand, “Of course not. Besides, with a family the size of mine one more wouldn’t make much of a difference.”

“… I think I’d like that.”

Patton beamed, “Great! I’ll ask them when I get back. I do… wish I wasn’t going home and leaving you here. It doesn’t feel right. I-I feel like if you’re here I should be too – we’re roomies!”

Virgil sighed, “Not this again, Patton. Don’t worry about me. Go home and have a great time, okay?”

“… Promise you’ll text?”

“I promise.”

Patton looked a little better, “Well… I just wish I could have seen Roman’s show before I left.”

Virgil was confused, “But… Roman’s show is tonight… I thought you were leaving tomorrow?”

Patton looked at him, then looked away, “… You haven’t heard?”

“Heard what?”

“Roman didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“The show…” Patton sighed, “Roman’s show… it’s been cancelled. It’s not going on tonight… or ever.”

“… Wh-what?”

“Yeah… Roman only found out this morning, but… he didn’t say why. Nobody seems to know why. Oh, and he worked so hard…”

_Virgil knew why._

_Virgil knew exactly why._

_And he knew where to find him._

 

“ **Deceit!** ”

As he’d suspected Deceit was leaning behind the sports hall, stubbing out a cigarette on a box of discarded baseball gloves. He was smirking – the anger inside Virgil only grew the closer he stormed towards him.

“What the **hell** is wrong with you?!”

Deceit looked amused, “Virgil? What a wonderful surprise… coming all this way to see me. Did you miss me that much?”

Virgil felt like he was breathing fire, “You got Roman’s show cancelled. Didn’t you?!”

“Did I?” Deceit rubbed his chin, clearly feigning innocence, “I don’t remember… oh, wait. I do know that the headmaster received a strongly worded email from one of the academy’s highest shareholders. It was very angry – a musical about two boys falling in love? Kissing? He was so angry… he threatened to cut his funding. I suppose he got his way.”

Virgil’s hands were shaking, “… Your father.”

Deceit raised an eyebrow, “I may have mentioned it to him… as I said, my parents are _very_ old fashioned.”

Virgil stopped a few feet away from him. “… You… you’re evil… you’re… you’re so f-”

“As I said, I don’t remember. Perhaps my memory had taken a hit after your friend _punched me in the face._ ”

“So you did this?!” Virgil’s throat was beginning to hurt, “You get his show cancelled the day before?! He’d been working on it for months!! Also… you deserved it!! I told you to leave, a-and… he was protecting me!”

“Oh, that’s right,” Deceit nodded, looking away thoughtfully, “Knight Roman was trying to save his little emo princess, wasn’t he?”

“… Take that back.”

“But it’s true. Roman loves to play the hero… ever since we were children. It was pathetic, really… he thought he could stand up to me and everyone would love him.” Deceit grinned, “Or maybe he just pitied them. It is natural sometimes for the strong to try and protect the weak; the helpless, the ones who can’t or won’t help themselves. Perhaps Roman saw you as… a little, baby kitten who needed rescuing from a tree. Oh – he must have felt so good about himself. Roman, the strong brave hero saving the frightened, weak little civilian from the big nasty villain.”

Virgil shook his head, “Shut up. You’re a liar. I’m not going to listen to you anymore… y-you can’t… you can’t…”

Deceit had wondered towards him, looking him up and down, “You think I’m a liar? That’s interesting… did your new friends tell you that?”

“They told me the truth about you. The truth about that-“he jabbed a finger towards Deceit’s tattoo, “- and I know that you deserved it. H-honestly… I think it’s a shame it didn’t blind you.”

Deceit pouted comically, “Then how would I see your pretty face?”

“Shut up.”

“You’re so mouthy lately,” Deceit tutted, “such a shame. You were already a horrible person when we first met, but at least you were quiet. Now look at you – you’re rude and you’re selfish. Tell me I’m wrong.”

Virgil wanted to shove him.

“You know it’s true, Virgil. You’re a bad person.”

“I-I am nothing like you.”

“No, you’re not. You’re weak. I’ve seen you… sneaking off with Logan, not telling the others where you’d been, all because he told you how _smart_ you were? Or hiding behind Roman, letting him fight your battles for you, because you’re a coward. And Patton – poor innocent Patton, having to go home, knowing he’s leaving you here to replace him. Maybe you want to… you little attention seeker. All those eyes on you… you’re loving this, aren’t you?”

“Th-that’s not true… h-how did you know ab-”

“About you and Logan? Please… the things I know about you. About all of you. I saw you… sneaking into an old classroom, you were there for hours. I didn’t know Logan offered tutoring in _that._ ”

“It wasn’t like that! That’s not what happened, we’re friends! Just friends!”

Deceit slowly shook his head, their gazes locked, “You really are an idiot. All I wanted to do was help you, Virgil. I see you for what you are, the same way Logan and Roman see you… _weak_. Helpless. Selfish. Stupid. Easy to take advantage of. I wanted to protect you from people like _that,_ because I wanted to make you better. I can make you a good person… don’t you want to be good?”

Virgil snorted, “I know the truth. All this… because Roman was the one who gave you those scars. Y-you’re still on some d-desperate quest for revenge, because of what happened when you were children.”

Deceit smirked, “No… Virgil, I already got my revenge for that.”

“W-what… did you do?”

“I don’t remember.” He shrugged, “… Maybe you should ask Patton.”

 

Virgil had stormed away, though Deceit’s words swarmed after him like flies.

_Weak. Selfish. Bad. Stupid. Weak. Stupid. Bad. Stupid._

He wanted to cover his ears and scream, but he had to find Roman.

_This is my fault. This was all my fault. If I hadn’t let him try and protect me this wouldn’t have happened. My fault. All my fault._

He wasn’t answering his phone.

_All those nights wasted. All that practice for nothing. You ruined everything. You always ruin everything._

No… no… this was Deceit. It was all Deceit.

_Maybe you should stay away… the whole auditorium might get closed down-_

**The auditorium.**

 

Virgil lifted his hand to knock, realized how dumb that was, and pushed open the door.

The stage was empty. So were the seats.

It was hard to see anything, it was all so dark save for a few stage lights. Virgil narrowed his eyes, noticing a shadow near the stage.

It was Roman, his back towards the seats, sitting quite still.

Virgil felt like a knife was being twisted in his gut, but he forced himself to walk towards him. His footsteps echoed through the quiet hall, but Roman didn’t turn around.

He was sitting at the piano, staring absentmindedly at some sheet music. He was too quiet, too still, too… defeated to be Roman. Who was this imposter?

“… Hey.” Virgil called softly.

“The show’s not going on, Virgil.” Said Roman, his voice barely more than a whisper, “It’s… not happening. He won. He…” he shrugged a little, “… he beat me. Again.”

Virgil stopped beside him, pointing at the long piano bench, “Can I join you?”

Roman nodded, “If you’d like…”

Virgil perched himself on the opposite side of the bench, looking over at the sheet music, “… Elvis?”

“Yes. Well, this song is one of my favourites… it was going to be the finale. But, it doesn’t matter anymore. There’s been talk of our funding being cut completely – we won’t be able to survive. I… I lost. Now I’m going to lose… e-everything.”

He was crying.

“Roman.” Virgil sighed, fingers tracing the piano keys, “You don’t know that.”

“There’s a lot a thought I knew. I… I’ve spent my whole life… in a fantasy. Logan always says I have my head in the clouds, and that one day I’m going to trip and fall. Well… the clouds are gone now… I’ve fallen.”

Virgil wrapped his arms around his waist, his stomach hurt, “… I’m sorry. This is my fault… don’t blame yourself. Please. You were standing up for me, because you… felt you had to, or whatever, b-”

“I punched Deceit in the face because he wanted to hurt my friend.” Said Roman, firmly, “I would have punched him for any of you. Even now… seeing this empty room, if I could go back in time just before that moment… I’d do it again, only harder this time.”

Virgil nudged his shoulder, “It was a pretty great punch.”

“Thank you.” Roman bowed his head, “I… was scared, honestly. Not of him, not really… I was worried of… what you’d think of me.”

Virgil blinked, “… You were worried? Since when did you care about my opinion?”

Roman smirked, “I couldn’t let him hurt you, but I didn’t know how else to stop him. I’m not great at words, like Logan. I’m not a mediator, like Patton. I don’t have dark doe-eyes, like you. Honestly… outside of this room… I’m not sure what I am.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look at that stage. When I’m there… I know who I am. I’m Romeo. I’m Jean Val Jean. I’m the Phantom of the Opera. One time – I was even Elphaba.” He chuckled, “Putting on a musical in an all-boy’s school can be tough. But this is where I’ve always belonged. All I know about myself – my real self – is how much I love being here. I built myself around my love of theatre, musicals, and fantasy… down to my clothes. It’s who I am, and it’s all I am. I’m good at it. Sometimes I feel… it’s all I’m good at.”

This was breaking Virgil’s heart to listen to, but he kept quiet.

“I’m a performer. An actor. I suppose I thought… all that matters is what people see. If you can convince others you are confident and brave and fabulous… it doesn’t matter if that’s not who you really are. What good is singing without applause? What’s the point of doing anything… if nobody cares whether you did or not.” He sighed, running his fingers through his hair, “You must think I’m really something, huh? _Oh, look at this egotistical drama kid, crying because nobody’s noticing him._ Well… maybe you’re right. Without the theatre or a role to play… I don’t know who I am. I’m afraid to.”

A hand had fallen softly on top of Virgil’s.

“Sometimes I wish I was more like you.”

Virgil wanted to laugh, “Why?”

“You… you’re afraid, like me. You’re scared of what people think of you… like me. But you don’t hide – you don’t change yourself, or try to fit in. You don’t pretend to be something you’re not, even though I can tell how scared it makes you. You’re… really brave, Virgil. You’re probably the bravest of us all. And… I… am honoured… to know you. That is why I was afraid of what you thought of me – you already seemed to dislike me. My big speeches, my stories – you weren’t sold on the act for a second. The times when you and I truly connected… is when I dropped it. When I was myself.” He took a deep breath, “When I hit Deceit, that wasn’t an act – that was me. I didn’t want you to think I did it because I’m some… meat-head jock. I did it because I saw him… holding you like that… and I was scared. The only thing I could think was… to get him off you.”

“Roman…” Virgil sighed, “I… I don’t know… what to s-”

“It’s quite alright.” Roman smiled, “I’m just happy that you’re safe, and that you don’t hate me. I… want to be braver. I want to be confident. I want to be all the things I pretend to be, and… I don’t feel as scared about that anymore. At least, not when I’m around you.”

Virgil could barely believe it. Roman… admired him? Actually liked him? Cared about what he thought of him? Was this a dream?

“I…” it took a while for Virgil to speak, “… I don’t really like attention. But… I suppose being applauded would feel great. W-we’re only human. But… you love _theatre_. The applause is just _one part_ of it – and you love all of it. You love singing, right?”

Roman raised an eyebrow, “Hello, nice to meet you, I’m Roman.”

“Shut up and get on the stage.”

“… Virg-”

“Go on. You sing, I’ll play.”

“… You… can play piano?”

“No. But how hard can it be?”

Roman climbed off the stool and hauled himself on stage, looking quite confused and a bit nervous.

“Alright…” Roman took a deep breath, “Take it away, maestro.”   

Virgil pressed his fingers to the keys, “… Okay, never mind. I can’t play piano.”

Roman shook his head, amused, “This song’s pretty easy. Hang on.”

He jumped off the stage and joined Virgil back at the piano. He took Virgil gently by the wrists and placed his fingers over the right keys, “Okay… now press gently.”

Virgil did as instruct – it sounded pretty good.

“See? Now, for the next part…”

That wasn’t bad either.

They sat together for almost half an hour, Roman showing Virgil how to play each chord, and the best way to move his fingers so they glided along the keys.

“Alright, I think I have it.” Virgil nodded, “Do you want to get on stage?”

Surprisingly, Roman shook his head, “No. I’m happy here.”

“… Sure.” Virgil took a deep breath, and began to play. He messed up, pulling his hands back as if the piano were burning hot.

“It’s alright…” Roman placed his hands on top of Virgil’s, guiding them gently back and forth, pressing down over the keys.

Their sides were pressed together, shoulders and elbows rubbing against each other. He continued to guide Virgil’s hands as he started to sing.

 _Wise men say_  
_Only fools rush in_  
_But I can't help falling in love with you_  


_Shall I stay?_  
_Would it be a sin_  
_If I can't help falling in love with you?_

His voice was deep, each note flowing from his lips as effortless as water. His eyes were almost closed, a smile spreading along his face.

No animated movements. No showing off.

This was the real Roman.

And he was incredible.

 _Like a river flows_  
_Surely to the sea_  
_Darling, so it goes_  
_Some things are meant to be_  


_Take my hand,_  
_Take my whole life, too_  
_For I can't help falling in love with you_   

Virgil soon realised he was no longer watching what he was doing. He had complete faith in Roman to guide him, but he couldn’t stop watching him. The way his head moved when he sang, the way he wet his lips between breaths, the way he smiled after every verse.

He wasn’t just handsome.

Roman was beautiful.

“ _Take my hand,_ ” he was pressing the keys softer this time, fingertips tracing against Virgil’s skin, “ _take my whole life, too. For I can't help falling in love with you._ ”

Virgil didn’t realize they’d stopped playing.

“ _For I can’t help falling in love with... you._ ”

 

The group had met for a farewell dinner for Patton – the cafeteria was practically empty; most students had already left for the holidays. Virgil had been dreading this dinner… for a number of reasons. The biggest one being that _someone_ had the grand idea to hold a secret Santa.

“Well then, I’ll start.” Roman took the lead, his voice much softer and calmer than how he’d usually address the table, “Logan… this is for you.” He handed over a small square package, wrapped neatly in silver paper.

Logan, seeming a bit wary, took the package from Roman’s fingers, “Well… thank you, Roman. This looks… _shiny._ ”

“Go on, open it!” cried Patton, practically bouncing in his chair.

Logan sighed, taking care not to rip the paper. Inside was a tiny box, the kind you’d find jewellery in. Raising a brow, Logan flipped open the lid, “Oh. My.”

The box contained two round, black cufflinks, with little white circles in the middle.

Logan was staring at them as if they were beautiful diamonds, “Roman… um. These are…”

“I saw you looking at them in the paper, so… I ordered them.” Roman smiled.

Logan closed the lid, clearing his throat. “Yes, well… that was… observant of you.”

Roman laughed, “You’re welcome. So, would you like to go next?”

“Hm? Oh.” Logan regained himself, “I actually have you, Roman.”

“… You do?”

“Yes. Here.” He handed Roman a black plastic bag. Roman cautiously reached inside and pulled out a small piece of paper, which he almost dropped in surprise.

“Is… is this… no… this can’t be…”

“Well,” Logan explained, “my father has been working closely with a number of theatres. It was… quite easy for him to obtain. I thought this would make a… suitable gift. Though, personally I don’t know what you will do with this… well, it seems to have made you happy.”

“… You got me **_Lin-Manuel Miranda’s_** **_autograph!_** ”

“Yes. Well, my father did. But… I did… commission this from him.”

“Th-th-thank you!” Roman was grinning and shaking like a child – it was sweet.

Logan looked uncomfortable, “You’re… welcome, now may we move on?”

“My turn!” Patton thrusted a bright yellow parcel onto Virgil’s lap, “Open it! Open it!”

It was shaped like a book.

Virgil carefully pealed back the wrapping paper, and sure enough… it was a book. But not a novel or story of any kind – the pages were blank.

“It’s a sketchbook!” Patton grinned, “I see you doodling all over your workbooks, I thought… maybe you’d like somewhere safe to draw them. The paper is thick, too, so you can even use pens!”

Virgil blinked, running his fingers down the spine, “… This is… awesome. Thank you. I, uh… it’s not much, but… here.” He paced something the size of a marble into Patton’s palm, “don’t open it until you’re home. Okay?”

Patton looked confused, but nodded, “… Okay.”

“And… here.” He handed him a card… he’d made it himself.

Patton opened it, smiling wide, “… Virgil? Who’s Virgil? Why did he give me a- OH!” his eyes went huge, “Your name is Virgil? Guys, his name is Virgil!”

Logan and Roman exchanged a look.

“… Oh!” Cried Roman, “Virgil?”

“This is new information.”

“What a fantastic name!”

“It is… a name, yes. Your name.”

 Patton hugged the card to his chest, “Merry Christmas guys!”

“Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas!”

“… Merry Christmas.”


	13. The Gallery

His Christmas at Sanders Academy was the best Christmas Virgil ever had.

He, Roman, and Logan met in the dining hall for breakfast – Virgil and Roman had pancakes, Logan had toast. They spent their morning creating the perfect ‘Snowman Patton’, which they sent a photo of to the real Patton. After a decidedly average (but still pretty good) Christmas lunch, they hung out in AV Club-room and watched holiday films. After a Skype session with Patton, Virgil was exhausted and headed to bed. He felt asleep almost instantly, a little smile still clinging to his lips.

They’d devised a plan for the days which followed – Logan created a rota. Each day, one of them would decide what they would do as a group, and they would do it.

On December 26, Logan suggested they take a walk through the forest surrounding the school. Logan spent the entire time pointing out different plants and birds, giving a thorough explanation of their diets, life-cycles, and preferred habitats. At first it was annoying, but after a while Virgil became rivetted – Logan spoke with such confidence and something resembling passion whenever he recited facts about his interests. It was his element.

On December 27, Roman wanted to head into the city. They visited the cinema to watch some Christmas-themed rom-com, had lunch at Starbucks, and even took a look around the shops. Roman purchased a new set of watercolours – Logan picked up a spare tiny screwdriver for his glasses – Virgil grabbed some more eyeshadow.

On December 28, Virgil _still_ had not come up with a plan.

The morning rolled around, and the blaring sound of the alarm clock jolted a sleep-deprived Virgil awake. He’d spent the previous night furiously scribbling down possible activities into the sketchbook from Patton, but none of them felt _right._ Some would be fun to Roman but torture for Logan. Some would be entertaining for Logan but bore Roman to death. Anything Virgil would genuinely enjoy doing would **definitely** be hated by both of them.

He couldn’t win. Virgil didn’t know how to plan things like this – he planned for disasters, casualties, but a fun day out for his friends?

He was screwed.

Well… there was one person he could ask for help. If he was awake – which he probably was.

Patton slept even less than Virgil.

 

Grabbing his laptop and pulling on a shirt, Virgil opened the Skype app. Sure enough, the bubble next to Patton’s photo was green – he was online. After ten minutes of psyching himself up, he clicked the _‘call’_ button.

Patton answered within the first ring.

“ _Hey!_ ” Patton was smiling through the webcam, waving excitedly at the screen. Virgil could see a Christmas tree in the background, “ _You’re up so early!_ ”

“Did I wake you?”

“ _No, no!_ ” Patton laughed, “ _I’ve been up for hours. Hey, how’re the guys doing? I miss you all!_ ”

Virgil smiled, “They’re good. They miss you, too. I, um… I need to ask you something.”

“ _Sure, you can ask me anything!_ ”

“… Okay. If you were, like… planning a day for Roman and Logan… and it had to be fun for all of you… and me… what would you do?”

Patton thought for a moment, his face scrunched up in concentration, “ _Hm… that’s a toughie! Oh, I know!_ ” he clapped his hands together, “ _Take them to the Gallery just outside of town! It’s great – there’s loads of paintings, so Roman will enjoy it, and there’s those minimalistic sculptures, so Logan will too! Plus the food is soooo gooood in their little café!_ ”

That… actually sounded perfect.

“Great!” Virgil sighed, “Thank you, I had no idea what to do. I had to choose and nothing I could think of felt… good.”

Patton shrugged, grinning, “ _Well, planning out fun days out for my friends… it’s kinda my speciality. And friendship bracelets! By the way, are you..?_ ”

Virgil grinned, holding up his wrist. A braid of black and purple was wrapped around it, fastened by a tiny black cat charm, “I haven’t taken it off.”

Patton beamed, “ _Yaaaay! Oh, check it out!_ ” Patton reached inside his shirt and pulled out something tied to a string. It was his Secret Santa gift, now crafted into a necklace, “ _Tada! Now I can carry it with me without losing it!_ ”

Virgil felt warmth spreading through his chest, “Looks great.”

“ _What did you say it was again?_ ”

“Amethyst.”

“ _Well, **Ame-fan** of it!_”

Virgil closed his eyes, counting to three, “… Anyway, how’s home?”

“ _Oh, it’s great! I kinda wish I was going to the gallery with you guys… but I’m having a great time too!_ ”

A thought began to linger at the back of Virgil’s mind – something which popped up whenever he spoke to Patton, lately. It gnawed away at him, guilt bubbling inside his stomach. Virgil bit down on his lip, “… Pat?”

“ _U-huh?_ ”

“… Nobody could ever replace you. You know that, right?”

Patton looked flattered but confused, “ _I… I’m flattered! But also confused…_ ”

“D… _someone_ got in my head about something. Just know that… there’s only one Patton, and… nobody could replace you. In anything.”

Patton was starting to look scared, “ _… Am I dying?_ ”

Virgil snort-laughed, “You’re fine. I just… I know we’re here and you’re there, but we… _you_ are missed.”

Patton smiled, “ _Well… I miss you more!_ ”

Virgil grimaced, “Ugh, this is… way too touchy-feely for me… I feel like I need to go take a shower.”

“ _Aw, you miss meeeee!_ ”

“See you, Patton.”

“ _Bye, Roomie!!_ ”

 

Patton was right – Virgil made a note to thank him later.

Roman and Logan both seemed enthusiastic about the idea – well, Roman did. But Logan nodded _twice,_ which for him was practically jumping for joy. After breakfast, Roman called the Uber and off they went.

 

Their first stop was the fine arts exhibit. One of many.

Roman was all but running between painting to painting, pointing excitedly at ones he recognised, gasping appreciatively at ones he didn’t. Virgil and Logan struggled to keep up, so they decided it would be best letting Roman tire himself out. They took a seat on a bench, watching Roman gaze admiringly at the works of art.

“Virgil.” Logan had his bag resting on his legs, “I feel I owe you an apology.”

“… Okay… why? What did you do?”

Logan reached into his bag and pulled out a tattered notebook – Virgil recognised it straight away. “I said I would return this to you the next day. This was… many weeks ago, and I apologise for not doing so sooner.”

Virgil looked down at the book, then back at Logan, “It’s… fine. I-I’d forgotten too, it’s fine-”

“I did not forget. I have an eidetic memory, I never forget. You were wearing your black shirt with the purple-plaid sleeves, your eyeshadow had run out so you had improvised with pencil eyeliner, you needed to wash your jeans – there were ink stains from the way you tap your pen against your leg-”

“Alright, I believe you.” Virgil held up a hand, “That’s… impressive. So, how come you… are giving it back now?”

Logan’s lips were pressed into a line, “… Your poems. There were far more than I had expected, and I wanted to give each one a thorough evaluation. I noted your style – I could sense the inspiration from Parker, they were… quite _dry._ ”

Virgil felt weird – he’d never had anything he’d written critiqued before. This wasn’t like Logan judging his maths skills, this was… completely different. Logan was speaking much softer than usual, as if we weren’t quite sure what to say next.

“You… seem quite fond of wordplay. Perhaps that is due to overexposure to Patton, but using a single word to convey multiple connotations makes the sentence more… powerful. The way you choose your words says much about you. You create visuals, the meaning of which you hide between what you choose to leave out. Perhaps this is intentional, to allow the reader to project their own meanings – to fill in the blanks, as it were. But I can tell that… you did not write this for others to read. Your words are angry, sometimes. You use short, abrupt sentences, the next almost interrupts the last… as if trying to speak over each other. At times I found myself getting caught up with them, my focus ran with your words and made it… quite difficult to evaluate. I found myself having to read and reread some of your poems before I could even begin.”

Virgil winced, “Is that… bad?”

Logan paused, “It is… unusual. I guess your poems did exactly as they were supposed to. Force the reader to think – question what they see – allow themselves to become… confused. Forget what they wanted to believe, break down their thoughts and start again. This is not something I am used to doing… therefore, I did find your poems somewhat of a… challenge.” He cleared his throat, “I don’t remember the last time I found it… _difficult_ putting my opinions into words. These poems, simply put, do not make sense – and that is what makes them great.”

Virgil felt his face began to burn. He wanted to look away, but the look in Logan’s eyes was unlike anything he’d seen before. Logan looked stressed, a little shaken, his grip tight around the notebook, “… You think my poems are _great?_ Y-you? M-my poems?”

“Yes. They are unlike anything I have ever read… they were mysteries. Questions. Puzzles to be solved, the meaning so clear yet impossible to see unless you changed the way you looked for it. I could destruct any poem within minutes, I’ve done so for years… yet these poems made me feel… as though… I actually know nothing at all.”

_Was he shaking? Just slightly?_

“I did not want to return this to you until… I felt I had a worthy evaluation. Truthfully – I still do not.” Logan inhaled sharply, his gaze flitting to the side, “Perhaps…” he cleared his throat again, “perhaps… someday… you could go through them with me. I would like to- I… _need_ _to…_ understand them better. Would that be… acceptable?”

_Logan. Asking Virgil for help. To understand something. Logan. Virgil. Asking. Logan – not knowing. Virgil – knowing?_

Virgil was in such shock he’d lost 90% of his ability to formulate a single sentence.

“Uh…” he blinked, “… y-yeah. I… I wouldn’t know what to tell you. I-I don’t… like… _try_ all that hard. Th-these are just thoughts I have. I just write… however I feel. I don’t _really_ think when I write, I just let my hand move, I guess. But… you actually think I have, like… talent?”

Logan looked up, pondering his next sentence, “Well, I don’t believe in the concept of a talent. Either you do something well, or you do not. Some may be equipped with pre-existing tools which assist them in doing so, such as a… wine taster with a strong sense of smell, or sculpture with a steady hand. Albeit, poetry and other forms of self-expression are moderately harder to narrow down to one specific advantage. Whatever it may be, it is something I wish to understand further… and that starts with understanding… _you…_ better.”

Virgil opened his mouth with no idea how to respond next – fortunately, Roman had finished admiring the room, and had walked over to the bench.

“This place is marvellous!” he panted, “Truly – the colours, the playful use of shapes and… what do you have there, Logan?”

Logan clapped the notebook shut, “I was simply returning some extra equations I had assigned to Virgil. I do not want him getting complacent outside of term-time.”

Roman rolled his eyes, “Did you really give him homework over the holidays?”

“… Yes.”

Roman gave Virgil an exasperated look, “Well, put that away! We are having a **_fun_** _day_ , do you know what fun is, Logan?”

“Of course I do; it is the act of enjoyment, amusement, or light-hearted pleasure-”

“Alright, _Ox-turd_ dictionary.”

He pulled the boys to their feet and marched them into the next room. Logan slipped the notebook back into his bag – Virgil pretended not to notice.

 

After stopping for lunch, and spending several more hours viewing various paintings, sculptures, and other works of art – the boys returned to the academy as the sun began to set. They headed straight to the dining hall for dinner, and Roman offered to accompany Virgil to his room.

As Virgil unlocked the door, Roman seemed to be thinking about something, “… Virgil… you know the jacket I gave to you… a few weeks ago?”

Virgil felt nervous – he was afraid this would come up, “… Yeah?”

“It’s nothing, I just… haven’t seen you wear it. If you don’t like it, I can take it back.”

Virgil hadn’t worn the jacket around school. Not once. It was too bright, too colourful, nothing like the rest of his wardrobe. Plus… if he walked through the halls wearing a jacket that was so obviously Roman’s… people might think… they… were…

He blushed, “N-no…”

Virgil may not have worn the jacket outside his room, but whenever Patton was away he would sometimes… put it on. Nothing weird – just sit on his bed, listening to his music, but wearing the jacket. He wasn’t sure if it was the way it smelled, or how soft it was against his skin, but it was incredibly comforting. More comforting than holding the remains of his amethyst stone.

But that would be an _incredibly creepy thing to say to another person._

“I… haven’t really worn it, I guess. P-plus, I don’t wear mostly-white clothes, I-I’d be scared of getting it dirty.” His hands stopped shaking long enough to unlock the door, pushing it open.

He walked inside, but Roman was now leaning against the doorframe, smiling quite wickedly, “… Try it on.”

Virgil turned back, “… What?”

“Go ahead. You might like it… unless you’re scared you’ll lose all your dark, edgy street-cred?”

Virgil snorted, “I have street-cred?”

Roman smirked, “Who knows… you won’t know till you lose some?”

Virgil glanced at the jacket, hanging by a hook on the wall. “… Hm… fine.” He sighed and gently lifted it down. He slipped his arms inside and shrugged it over his shoulders. A wave of calm began to wash over him.

“See? I look like the host of a Nickelodeon show.”

Roman was staring at him; his lips were slightly parted, his eyes unusually wide. He seemed completely in shock, like something had just occurred to him… something he didn’t realise sooner.

Virgil felt awkward, “… Quit staring, I’ll take it off.”

“N-no…” Roman coughed, trying to look away, “sorry.”

Virgil studied himself, “You think it looks… alright _?_ ”

Roman shrugged, “I guess so…”

Virgil stuck his hands in the pockets, his fingers brushing against something flat and thin – it felt like a piece of paper. He hadn’t noticed it before… had it been there the whole time? Curious, he pulled it out and began to unfold it.

The colour drained from Roman’s face, “Oh… uh, d-don’t look at th-”

“ _Roman…_ ”

The piece of paper was the drawing Virgil had done on his first day. But this one had been painted – careful, delicate strokes of watercolours; rich blues, pastel golds and pinks, glistening silvers. The crashing waves of the sea seemed to real now, like they’d wet your fingers if you touched them. But the man sitting on the bench was surrounded by a luminous glow, colours flowing over the lines and casting a shadow of light around him.

Virgil could feel every part of it resonating within him… overwhelming. The man was no longer in danger. As he sat on his bench, watching the waves flowing closer towards him… he was at peace. He welcomed the waves, for they would not hurt him. Something was protecting him now.

“Roman… wh… when did…”

Roman looked like he wanted to fall off the face of the earth, “I… you dropped this during lunch one day. Y-your first day, actually. I wanted to give it back to you, but then… well, you were there. You know what happened. I had forgotten, and I took it back to my room. I was… impressed, though I didn’t want to tell you at the time. I just thought… maybe with a little colour… I could… bring it to life. I had forgotten about it until now… is… that okay?”

Virgil held the painting closer to his face, “… It’s… amazing.”

Roman was taken aback, “… You like it?”

Virgil nodded slowly.

“W-well… i-if you have anything else you might like me to… add some colour to, I… I could…”

Virgil smiled, “That sounds great. I’d love that.”

Roman grinned, “I suppose we… make a great team. You sketch, I paint. We’ll be rich and famous by Spring!”

“I’ll be able to buy you a new jacket.”

“So, you’re keeping it, huh?”

“Yeah.” Virgil shrugged, “Unless you want it bac-”

“No.” Roman shook his head, “It… looks good on you.” He tapped his fingers against the doorframe, “Well… goodnight, Virgil.”

“… Goodnight, Roman.”


	14. Happy New Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains underaged drinking...
> 
> ... a LOT of underaged drinking.
> 
> Disclaimed: Don't drink underaged unless you are in a safe space with people you trust. Do not overdo it. You never have to say yes. It's okay to call an adult for help. Take care of yourself. You matter more than the opinions of others.

The year was coming to an end.

Virgil never bought into the whole New Year charade – resolutions, empty promises, romanticising the past and making huge declarations for the future. As far as Virgil was concerned, nothing was going to change but the date.

But this year felt different. He found himself looking back on the past few months – at how much had changed, and how much was to come. It was gross.

He had friends. Real friends. For the first time in his life Virgil could say “ _I have friends_ ” and not only _know_ it was true, but _believe_ it. It wasn’t that he had people in his life who didn’t make fun of him, torment him, make him feel worthless and weird – they _liked_ all the things he’d usually be bullied for.

Logan really liked his poetry. He found his anxious nature comforting and admirable. He offered him a safe space when he needed it.

Roman thought he was brave and genuine. He wanted to paint his drawings. He gave him his jacket.

Patton liked Virgil. Virgil liked Patton. It wasn’t clear how or why they were friends, but Virgil knew… they were as _ride or die_ as it gets.

Virgil liked them all, in their own ways. Roman, when he wasn’t putting on an act, was creative, passionate, charismatic, and goodhearted. He was afraid, but he wanted to become the person he’d always pretended to be. He was braver than he gave himself credit for. Logan was still a bit of a grump, but he was analytical, wise, patient – he may not understand things like emotions or feelings, but he was trying. He’d come a long way in only a few months.

_But then there was Deceit._

Virgil thought back on his earlier interactions with him and felt like he wanted to claw his own skin off. He let him touch him. He let him brush his lips against him. He let him into his head – warping his reality – feeding the thoughts Virgil already had about himself so he could manipulate him. He saw Virgil’s vulnerabilities and took advantage of every single one. He didn’t want to protect him. He wanted to keep him to himself, away from the others… but why? Was this still about Roman and what happened when they were kids?

Virgil was beginning to sense it was never really about him – that made it worse. Whatever Deceit’s plan was, Virgil was simply a pawn to him. A means to hurt others. He’d ruin Virgil’s life for his own twisted, selfish reasons, and convince Virgil it was because he _liked_ him… and Virgil believed it.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

_No…_

Virgil shook his head.

Kicking himself over what was done was worthless. He couldn’t go back and change how he reacted – he didn’t know better. All he could do was be mindful of the future, and put his faith in those who deserved it.

Besides… the voice in his head, the one which insulted him and blamed him and made him want to scream didn’t belong to him anymore. _It belonged to someone else…_

 

Virgil and Logan were in Virgil’s room.

Virgil was sitting on his bed. Logan was leaning against the wall.

Virgil was anxiously playing with his fingers, biting his nails, and shifting uncomfortable against the mattress.

Logan was checking his watch, then his phone, and sighing occasionally.

_Roman should have been back by now._

“Maybe he got caught by a teacher…” worried Virgil, breaking the silence.

“That is possible, but unlikely. Most of the staff are off campus for the holidays, the chances of Roman being caught are slim, at most.”

“Okay…” Virgil fidgeted for a little while longer, “… maybe the ID didn’t work. Maybe they knew it was fake!”

Logan shook his head, “Impossible. I was the one who made it.”

“M-maybe you made a m-”

“I. Do. Not. Make. Mistakes.”

 “I’m just saying, you made it in a rush! It’s possible!”

“Falsehood.”

“You know you can’t just say that to end any conversation you don’t want to have?”

“… Falsehood.”

Someone was rustling at the door, causing Virgil to jump to his feet. The boys watched with bated breath as the door opened, just wide enough for Roman to slip inside and slam it closed behind him. He was clutching a white plastic bag, something heavy inside clanged together when he moved. Roman spun round dramatically, reaching into the bag and – like a magician pulling a rabbit from a hat – pulled out two large bottle of vodka.

He looked like he was expecting applause.

“… Tada!” he sang, holding the bottle higher.

“Where were you?” hissed Virgil.

Roman’s arm lowered, he looked confused, “… Tada?”

Logan rolled his eyes, sitting down on Patton’s bed, “Calm down, Virgil. He’s back now. Now I can proceed with babysitting the two of you all evening…”

Roman was pouring shots into glasses of soda, Virgil was sitting down on his own bed.

“You’re really not joining us?” Asked Roman, handing a glass to Virgil.

“I have never consumed an alcoholic beverage before, why should I start now?”

“It’s… perfectly fine.” Roman shrugged, “We’d never pressure you into anything you don’t want to do.”

“Good.” Logan watched as Virgil took a wary sip, “… Are you not anxious about being caught, Virgil?”

“I am…” Virgil winced as the menthol burned his throat, “but the more I drink, the less I care.”

Logan blinked, “That… sounds like an unhealthy mechanism for coping with stress. Do you often feel the need to self-medicate, Virgil?”

Virgil chuckled softly, “I’m not nearly cool enough. But it’s New Years Eve, this is what people do or whatever. I want to do what people do or whatever, for once!”

Logan seemed unconvinced, “… Very well. May I try some?”

Roman almost dropped his glass in surprise, “I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I would like to see what the big fuss is about, as it is important enough to put your health into jeopardy over. Plus, I would like to make sure Roman is not making your drinks too strong – not everyone has his tolerance for high volume drinks.”

Virgil hesitated, but handed Logan the glass, “… Okay…”

Logan took a sip.

He paused.

He swallowed.

“Well… fascinating. The soda is cooler than it is naturally, yet my throat and stomach feel… warmer. It is bitter, yes, almost like coffee. But refreshing, almost like…”

Roman looked at Virgil, “… I’ll pour you another.”

 

There’s no other way to say this.

Logan, Virgil, and Roman were completely hammered within the hour.

Virgil had somehow ended up on the floor, leaning against the wardrobe. One arm had escaped the sleeve of his hoodie, his bangs completely hiding his eyes.

Roman was too animated to stay in one place for too long, he paced the floor and spoke to the entire room, his hair sticking up at all angles.

Logan was still sitting on Patton’s bed. He looked much the same, though his cheeks were flushed.

“W-we-we should caaaall him!” Virgil suggested, his hands slapping against the wardrobe, “Like, like call his phone! I can do it I-I have his phooone num-brrrr.”

“Wait…” Roman stopped, snapped around and stared down at Virgil with wide, unfocused eyes, “I-I have the phone number! U-use mine instead!”

“Nooooo, mine’s better…” Virgil pouted.

“Guyyyysss…” Logan sighed dramatically, slumping backwards, “it doessssn’t matter which number you use! P-Pat-Patton would be happy to hear our… voice…”

“Ooh,” Virgil snap-pointed at Logan, “Oh, he’s smart. Y-you should be like… like a scientist! Or, a professorrrrr! Or like, like, those people, wh-who make those computer noises go wrrrrrrrrrr!”

Roman gasped, “Logan would be **so good** at that!”

Logan paused, “I-I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You know!!” Virgil flailed his arms, “Like… like, the planes! When they go whoooosh… y-you like… make it whooooooosh!”

“Th-that’s a pilot.”

“Noooooo! Like you make the plane and the plane goes whoosh, a-and when it doesssn’t do it, y-you make it do it!”

“Oh. An enginnnn… engine- hic- an engineeeeeer.”

“Yeah!”

“Oh, I wouuuld be good at that…”

“C’moooon,” Roman sighed impatiently, “Caaaall hiiiim!”

“M’kay, m’kay, ‘m calling him.”

It took several minutes and a lot of verbal support, but Virgil had successfully dialled Patton’s number.

“ _Hello?_ ”

“Paaaaattonnn!” Cried Roman, “Hi, Patton! It’s me! It’s Roman! It’s meee!”

Patton laughed through the phone, “ _Hi, Roman! How’re you?_ ”

“Patton, I’m here tooo!”

 “ _Yeah, you called me, Virgil! Are you guys… are you guys drunk?_ ”

“Noooooooooo!” Virgil shook his head, “Nooooo, we’re not that!”

“ _… Logan, are they drunk?_ ”

Logan leaned in, “… Noo?”

“ _Oh, my gosh. You too?!_ ”

“… Yeeeeah.”

Patton laughed harder, “ _Amazing. Now, you guys better look after each other, okay? Drink lots of water!_ ”

“Ooooh, he’s so niiiice…” Virgil sounded like he was close to tears, “He’s ssooo good and he lovvves us and he lovesss and he’s loving and good!”

“ _Wow, how long have you been drinking?_ ”

“Oh, forever!!”

“A whole hour!” agreed Roman.

“ _Well, you have an hour or so till Midnight! Don’t overdo it, okay? Where are you right now?_ ”

“We’re in the roooom! Our rooooom!”

Patton sighed in relief, “ _Good. Don’t go wondering around campus, alright?_ ”

Virgil nodded, “Yes! No! Not do that!”

“ _Alright, well you guys have a good evening. Remember to drink water!_ ”

“We will!”

“ _Good. I love you guys._ ”

“We love you!” Shouted Roman, grabbing Virgil’s wrist to get closer to the phone, “I love you the mooooost!”

“ _Love you too, Roman. Bye!_ ”

“Buh-bye!”

 

“… and that’s how many people I’ve ever kissed.”

Roman’s story was finished. Virgil and Logan, who were now squished together against the wardrobe, raised their eyebrows.

“… That’s like… two people!” Virgil rubbed his forehead, “B-but you’re like… really hot and stuffff.”

“I know! B-but this is the thing! I don’t wannnna go around and kisssss people just to kiss ‘em! I wanna kiss people cosss I like them a whole lot! Like, with my heart!”

Logan nodded, “Y-you kiss for feeling reasons.”

“Yeah!! See, Logannn gets it.”

“That’sss fascinating. I-I haven’t done that.”

Roman tilted his head, “You’ve never kissed anyone?”

Logan shook his head, “Nope. Never neeeed to. Never really wanted to. Wellll… sometimesss, but then I don’t and ‘m okay!”

Virgil took another sip, “I’ve never done the kiss either! Cos like… I don’t- didn’t want annnyone to, and noooooooooobody wanted to kiss me! S-so I didn’t!”

“D-do you w-waant to kiss people?”

“Yeah but nobody wanted to kiss me but it’s okay cos they were assholeees and I didn’t want them to kisss me and they were assholes so it’s okay.”

“Wh-who do you want to ki-”

“Guuuuuuuuuuuys!” Virgil lifted his arms into the air, “I wanna kiss guuuuyyys!”

Roman’s face lit up, “Y-you… you gay?!”

Virgil nodded, “You gay too?!”

“Me gay!”

“L-Logan gay? L-Logan sssssssssomething else?”

Logan pondered this for a moment, “… Huh. Logan gay.” He nodded, “Yes. Logan gay, too.”

The others cheered, “ **Logan gay!!** ”

 

Logan had passed out at the foot of Patton’s bed, snoring softly. Virgil and Roman were laying side by side on the other bed, speaking in quiet, slurred voices.

“L-like I know I want to kiss guys and all,” whispered Virgil, “but like… I don’t know about all the other stuff. Like… I th-think I wanna… but I don’t know… how it works?”

Roman blinked a few times, “I… I like… knooow? In theory? But I’ve neverrrr… practiced?”

Virgil looked at him, “Y-you’ve never… d-done that?”

Roman shook his head, “Nope. Just nevverrr… found the right… guy. Or time. Or like… the moooood…”

“Oh, wow…” Virgil breathed, “N-not that that that that bad or anything! M-me neither… it just… you really hot!”

Roman laughed, “I like drunk Virgil. I… guesss I just… hadn’t found someone I wanted to be that… vulnerable with. Let someone see… me. The real me… before.”

“Like… like naked?”

Roman smirked, “Sure, Virrgil. Like naked.”

“… But you’re hooot!”

Roman chuckled, followed by a yawn, “I am tired… isss it time yet?”

“Hannng on,” Virgil slapped around for his phone, “Oh… oh… five… fooouurr… three… two…”

He looked up.

Their eyes met.

Faces barely an inch apart.

“ _O-one…_ ”

Roman just smiled, leaning in to very softly, and very tenderly, place a kiss on Virgil’s forehead.

“Happy new year.” He hummed.

Virgil couldn’t stop smiling, “H-happy new year.”

Roman tilted his head up, “Happy new year, Logan!”

“Mmmmhmm…”

 

Virgil and Logan laid there for another hour – talking about nothing, or talking about everything. Who could tell? Before long Roman’s eyes fluttered shut and he stopped speaking. Virgil let his eyes close too.

As he drifted off to sleep, he thought to himself.

_Maybe this year will be happy after all…_


	15. The Day After The Night Before

Virgil was **never.**

**Drinking.**

**_Again._ **

The mid-morning sun burned through his eyes like lasers – he tried to move his arm to shield them, but a piercing pain sliced through his head and pounded against his ears. He groaned softly, the back of his throat tasted like poison. He wanted to throw up… but he was scared to move. If he moved his head would explode – the contents of his stomach would spill all over the carpet.

So, he just laid there.

Suffered.

And slept for two more hours.

When he came to he felt a little better; he could move his arms and open his eyes, but the room still spun if he tried to sit up. He sighed, trying not to open his mouth.

Something felt weird. He patted his hand along the bed – he realized Roman wasn’t there. Opening his eyes a little, he allowed the room to adjust before him. Nobody was there, sans for Logan sat on Patton’s bed, looking infuriatingly fine.

Virgil tried to speak, but all which left his mouth was a gurgled moan of pain and regret.

Logan looked up from his phone, “You’re awake. Good.”

“Is it..?” Virgil rubbed his eyes, “I… am never drinking… again.”

Logan nodded, “I feel the same way. I was not my usual self last night, and frankly I’m a little… embarrassed by it. I apologise if I said anything which caused you or others upset.”

“No… you’re fine.” Virgil tried to shake his head, “You didn’t. A-aren’t you hungover?”

Logan was typing something on his phone – he looked up in thought, “Hm. I suppose not. Huh… I had not considered that. What does one feel like?”

“Like I’m dead… but I also wish I was dead… everything hurts and I’m dying… I kinda wish _you_ were dead for not being hungover with me.”

“That sounds unpleasant.” Logan shrugged, standing up, “Well, you are awake and do not appear to need medical assistance, therefore I will take my leave. Will you be alright by yourself?”

Virgil winced, “Would it be bad if I really wanted you to go? Sound… noise… too loud…”

“I am speaking in my normal tone and pitch – is this bothersome to you?”

“It is right now.”

“Very well. Will I be seeing you at lunch?”

“Maybe… wh-where’s Roman?”

“I believe he left about three hours ago. He did not say why, but I suspect he returned to his own room. He looked as though he was hungover as well.”

“Oh…” Strange. Virgil didn’t hear him go. “How long were you awake?”

“Around…” he checked his watch, “four hours. I wanted to make sure you were alright. Now that I see you are I will leave you to recover at your own pace.”

“… Thanks…” Virgil cracked his back, trying to slowly push himself up, “you didn’t have to do that.”

“I suppose not.” He grabbed a jacket from the foot of the bed, slipping it on, “Take care, Virgil.”

“See you…”

 

Virgil had dozed on and off for two more hours. Sick of being stuck in bed and feeling like he’d been hit by a truck filled with sweat and mistakes, he dragged himself out of bed and went to take a shower. The water felt like bullets against his skin, but he welcomed it.

Feeling considerably less miserable, Virgil headed down to the dining hall.

He found Logan sitting alone, writing in a notebook. He tried to grab something to eat, but there was nothing on offer which didn’t make him want to throw up. He settled on a bottle of water and took a seat.

“Hey.”

“Virgil.” Logan, looking startled, snapped the notebook shut, “You’re up.”

“Yeah… I still feel like crap, though.”

“I thought you might. Here.” Logan took out his flask and a mug, pouring Virgil a cup of coffee. Virgil took it and drank half the cup in a few gulps – it tasted like liquid gold.

“Oh, my god… thank you so much.”

“I did some research on how to recover from a hangover. Most of the results I found were… a little _extra_. However, I did see coffee mentioned a few times.” He pushed the flask towards him, “Drink as much as you need.”

Virgil finished the rest of his coffee while Logan took out a book to read, “Why do people love drinking so much… knowing this is waiting for them after?”

“The same reason you drank last night. We are only seventeen, Virgil. Our brains do not fully develop until we are around twenty-five – therefore, substances such as alcohol, tobacco, and marijuana can have an impact on their development, such as memory or-”

Virgil groaned, “Uughh… not now. Besides, who are you to lecture me? You drank too!”

“Not as much. Though… I suppose you have a point. Whilst it was an interesting experience – from a scientific standpoint – I will not be repeating it in the future. It is merely a… part of existence I understand further now.”

“… Did you call something _extra_ earlier or did I hallucinate that?”

Logan coughed, “I… may… have done a little research into contemporary slang. You use a lot within your poetry, so I felt I should understand what you were trying to say.”

“I’ve _never_ used the term extra.”

“No, but Roman does.” Logan gave a little smirk, “I am hoping to _freak him out_ a little later today.”

Virgil laughed, “You’re an evil genius.”

“Thank you.”

Logan returned to his book, Virgil pulled out his phone.

 **Virgil:** _You okay?_

 **Roman:** _Awww, you care about me :)_

 **Virgil:** _Nah, just wanted to know if I could have your stuff. I have a good buyer._

 **Roman:** _Suuuure. I’m fine, just a little woozy. I’m in the art room. You?_

 **Virgil:** _Logan lectured me and I wanted to throttle him. Then he gave me coffee so I decided he could live._

 **Roman:** _He does have that effect sometimes._

 **Roman:** _Wanna drop by? I could use the company of someone suffering as much as I_

 **Virgil:** _Even if I nap the whole time?_

 **Roman:** _Of course! You need your beauty sleep_

 **Roman:** _Like, really need it_

 **Roman:** _You should have started sooner, actually_

 **Virgil:** _I’m going to come over and whistle directly in your ear._

 **Roman:** _YOU MONSTER_

 **Virgil:** _Where’s the art room anyway?_

 **Roman:** _Near the library. Don’t mind the smell. The other club members have certain “medicinal needs”_

 **Virgil:** _I knew it!!_

 **Virgil:** _See you soon._

 **Roman:** _:D x_

 

The art room was a complete mess. Paintbrushes, pencils, and chalk were strewn all over the floor and counters. The floor seemed permanently wet, and the sink was overflowing with unwashed pallets and cups. No inch of surface wasn’t splattered with colour, and sure enough… it smelled pretty suspicious in here.

Roman was leaning over a sheet of paper; a pencil in one hand, the other wrapped around a bottle of soda. Virgil took a seat next to him, “Did you draw that?”

Roman slowly turned to look at him, “… No, I’m just holding my pencil here to trick you into thinking that. You fool!”

“Too bad.” Virgil shrugged, “It’s… pretty good.”

The drawing was not completed, but it was clear what it was going to be. A faceless figure, dressed in a flamboyant suit of armour – there were notes and strokes of colour all around it. “You design… clothes?”

“Not exactly.” Roman played with the pencil, “I… well. Since the last production was cancelled, and we may not have the budget for the rights to another… I thought I could… possibly… put something together.”

Virgil looked at him, “You’re making your own musical?”

Roman sighed through the corner of his mouth, “Or trying to. It’s not just the script and the songs; it’s the characters, the costumes, the sets, the lighting, the composures. From the looks of things I will most likely have this finished… five years after graduation.”

Virgil gave a supportive smile, “I don’t know much about… theatre, but you do. So, I’m sure it’ll be… good.”

“You are a never-ending stream of inspiration, Virgil.”

“It’s exhausting, I know. But… I do think it’s cool, that you’re doing this. Most people would have… probably given up by now.”

_Like me._

“Deceit may have won the battle, but he will not win the war. Even if this show never graces the stage, I’ll know he won’t have beaten me. There’s no point dwelling on what we lost – or you end up like _him._ ”

“I guess that’s true.” Virgil nodded, absentmindedly drawing on a spare sheet of paper. “What’s it about?”

“I… don’t know yet.”

“What are the songs like?”

“I haven’t written any.”

“What do you have?”

“This…” he held up the drawing of the knight, “I’ve always been fascinated with the knights of old. I know it’s cliché and… often somewhat misogynistic, but the idea of a knight on his noble steed… saving the day and rescuing his beloved… I’ve always been drawn to that. But… no.” he scrunched up the paper while Virgil stared at him, aghast, “Not this. No. He doesn’t need any of those things… armour, a horse, a loved one to save. He needs… something to drive him to do good. Something to make him want to become a knight… a secret? A calling? He wasn’t just… born a knight. He becomes one. Ugh…” Roman put his head in his hands, “I have a creative block… maybe it’s because of last night. I don’t remember a lot of it – what about you?”

Virgil remembered three things very clearly.

  * _He’d come out to the others, who came out to him as well_
  * _Patton told them to drink water – something they should have heeded_
  * _Roman kissed him… on the forehead, but…_



Suddenly, a memory flashed before Virgil’s eyes. He saw Deceit, brushing his lips against Virgil’s skin. At the time, they felt like kisses. But that wasn’t a kiss.

What Roman did was a kiss.

Deceit simply brushed his lips against him. Like he was mocking him.

He shivered.

“N-not much. I think I told you I was gay?”

Roman smiled, “Indeed. Thank you for trusting us.”

“You told me you were gay too?”

“I did. Then again, it’s… not exactly a secret. I’m surprised you didn’t realize it sooner.”

“What about Logan? Did you know..?”

Roman thought for a moment, “… Well, he’d never shown much interest in girls. Or anyone. I figured he may be asexual, but is that rude to just ask someone? I knew he’d tell me when he was ready, but… well, I was wrong. I’m happy that he told us. I just hope he also tells Patton.”

“How come?”

“Well, Pat… uh…” he coughed, “Patton knows him best. If he trusts us, I’m sure he’ll trust Patton too.”

“Is Patton..?”

“Yes. He’s completely out, like I am. His family were thrilled for him… mine did not seem to care, either way. Then again, my father probably wasn’t even listening…” he zoned out for a second, “but it doesn’t matter. Do you feel you are… also comfortable being out?”

Virgil shuffled, “I’m not comfortable being out as anything. Attention… sticking out… I don’t know. I want to be? I want to be all out and proud and not giving a crap… but I do give a crap. I always give too much of a crap about what other people think.”

“Well… you’ve never let it stop you from being yourself before? You dress how you want, you express yourself. But no pressure – it’ll stay between you, myself, and Logan unless you change your mind.”

“Yeah… oh, I need to do something.”

Virgil pulled out his phone. There was still one more person he needed to tell – the one who should have been the first to know.

 **Virgil:** _Patton, I’m gay._

 **Patton:** _OMG SAME!!!_

“There. Now you all know.”

Roman laughed, “Excellent.” He turned back to the sheet of paper before him, staring at them the way an old man would stare at a mountain… a mountain he needed to climb, “… I need to take a break. The creative part of my brain appears to still be drunk.”

Virgil looked down at his own drawing. It wasn’t much – an owl sitting on a branch, a cat waiting in the grass below. He slid it slowly across the table towards Roman. “Here.”

“Oh, this is excellent work!”

“Do you… you can… colour it if you want. I-if you need a break…”

Roman leapt up and grabbed a box of coloured pencils, a huge smile on his face, “I’d be honoured. Oh, this owl is majestic. I hope I can do him justice!”

Virgil shrugged, “If anyone can… you have a shot.”

 

They remained in the art room for the rest of the day. Virgil would sketch, slide it across the table, Roman would colour it with pencils, paints, or even chalk, and return it to Virgil. By the time they left for dinner, Virgil’s bag was overflowing with beautiful, weird, wonderful art.

As he retired to his room that night – Virgil hung a few on the wall.

Then he hung them all.


	16. Everything Is Fine

Spring seemed to arrive quicker at Sanders Academy than the rest of the country. The air was warm and humid, the perfect climate for snowdrops and blossom to bloom across campus. Class was back in swing and everything had gone back to normal. Patton was his usual loud, bubbly, friendly self. Virgil hadn’t realized how much he’d missed him over the winter.

The sun was out that weekend; a few wispy clouds swam across the bluebird sky, the grass was soft and inviting. Patton announced at breakfast he’d been planning a picnic for the group – he even baked a cake. After persuading Logan to abandon his chess club duties for the day and join them, they grabbed a blanket and set off.

 

Patton had found the perfect spot. As it turns out, there was a small pond on campus; complete with lily pads, goldfish, and a mass of frogspawn waiting to be born. The surrounding grass was thick and green, and their blanket was shielded by a large cherry blossom tree. When the breeze picked up, the blossom rained down around them, dancing in the wind – it was something out of an movie, or one of those romantic animes Patton liked so much.

Even Virgil, who was hidden beneath an oversized hoodie, had to admit it was nice.

Patton laid out a feast before them; perfectly cut sandwiches with all their favourite fillings, fresh strawberries, three different salads, tiny blueberry muffins, and a delicious looking sponge cake with fresh cream and jam. He poured everyone a plastic cup of soda – Logan was fine with his coffee – and they tucked in.

Virgil helped himself to a couple of sandwiches, some potato salad, and a strawberry. Logan opened up a book to read while Roman and Patton quickly became engrossed in a conversation about a TV show they’d started binge-watching together. Virgil watched some insects hovering over the pond, narrowly escaping the mouths of hungry fish. He unzipped his hoodie and leaned back against the tree, glancing over at the book in Logan’s hands.

“ _The Art Of Happiness?_ ” he read out loud.

Logan looked up, sighing a little, “Yes. It is a series of conversations between Dr Howard C. Cutler and the Dalai Lama, discussing eastern spiritual tradition within western culture.”

“I didn’t think you were religious…”

“I’m not. However, Buddhism is more of a series of guidelines one can live by in order to achieve inner peace and happiness within oneself. Many practices of Buddhism have been scientifically proven to increase a person’s dopamine levels, such as meditation on the concept of being selfless and helpful to others.” He tapped his fingers against the pages, “Normally, I would not be interested in the idea of souls, reincarnation, or any of that nonsense. However, I wish to branch out from my regular reading and learning habits to understand… more about the world. More about people; what they believe, how they think and feel, their sense of morality and companionship with each other. I recently learned that in this particular subject… I am… less informed than most. I used to think it unimportant.”

Virgil was surprised, “Huh… I remember you saying you wished you could be a robot, so you didn’t have to deal with those icky feelings.”

“That has not changed – not exactly. While I do believe I could achieve greater heights without them, they are not something I can escape from. My own or those of others. Therefore, the only logical alternative would be to… try and understand them. It’s all chemistry and psychology, of course, but… there’s only so much I can learn from charts and numbers. A person’s spiritual beliefs can shape their concept of reality – death, life, and everything in-between. It is also very human – to be spiritual, or not to be.”

“I guess… yeah, that makes sense.” Virgil nodded, eyes scanning the page, “You enjoying it?”

Logan thought, then nodded, “Yes. It is fascinating. It appears that Buddhism is heavily influenced by results and practice, rather than blind belief. The Dalai Lama had stated that if science were to prove that their practices did not achieve what they once thought, Buddhism would change to accommodate this. This was an incredibly controversial statement, as you can imagine. I believe this is one of the things which drew me to learn more about it.”

“Don’t Buddhists, like… shave their heads and never have sex?”

Logan look irritated, “I hope you are joking. In case you aren’t, not always. This depends on whether you are following the Five, Eight, or Ten Precepts of Buddhism. The ones you speak of are known as śrāmaṇeras and śrāmaṇerīs – novice monks and nuns who follow the Ten Precepts in their training. These include refraining from entertainment, accessories, comfortable beds or chairs, and being unchastely. Most commonly, only the Five Precepts are followed by Buddhists in modern and western society – refraining from harming living beings, stealing, sexual misconduct, lying, and… intoxication. I try to live by these myself, for no reason other than my own common sense and desire to remain focused and unburdened. Coincidently, Buddhists seem to follow these Precepts for the same reason, if their motivations are more spiritual than my own.”

“Huh.” Virgil sat forward, “But… New Year’s Eve..?”

 “I forbade you from speaking of that night.”

“Ah, sorry.” Virgil smirked, “Whatever. It’s cool that you’re… broadening your horizons, I guess. I figured guys like you would just… scoff at religions because you’re _too smart._ ”

“Dismissing religion and spirituality completely, and mocking those who participate in them does not make one smart – if anything, it weakens ones ability to understand human nature. As long as the participants are still independent thinkers, do not use their beliefs to harm themselves or others, and allow their beliefs to influence their behaviour rather than control it… who am I to pass judgement? It certainly does not indicate that they are smarter – a Catholic man could develop a cure for cancer, whereas an atheist man may meet his death trying to… fight a lion with a sword.”

Roman learned towards them, “I heard that. We’ve been over this – I could totally fight a lion with a sword! I just don’t want to!”

“Falsehood.”

Roman turned to Patton, “I totally could, right?”

“Oh, of course you could!” Smiled Patton, “I mean… y-you wouldn’t because lions are beautiful a-and endangered, but… if you _needed_ to…”

Logan rubbed the bridge of his nose, “Patton, don’t encourage him… this is just like when he said he-”

“Hey!” Roman raised a hand, “We don’t speak of that!”

Logan pressed his lips together, “… Very well.”

Virgil perked up, “Speak of what?”

“ _Yeah, Logan._ ” Came a voice from behind the tree, “ _Speak of what?_ ”

The four boys spun around, each taken aback by the unfamiliar voice.

A tall figure rounded the tree, taking long, slow steps around the blanket. A cigarette in one hand, the other touching his chin in thought.

Deceit – wearing his signature smirk.

Virgil felt his heart miss a beat, a hot rage bubbling inside him. What the hell did he want? Why was he here? He hadn’t seen Deceit since that day before winter break – even those brief times he’d been alone he’d remained unbothered by his presence. Yet here he was, knowing full well how outnumbered he’d be, dripping with an undeserved confidence and assurance.

He glanced at the others faces – Roman’s hands were clenched into fists, his body trembled with a readiness to strike. Logan’s eye had begun to twitch, but he kept very still, his face like thunder. Patton was just shaking. Eyes wide. Lip quivering.

Deceit seemed amused at their reactions, “Is it a secret? Oh, I love secrets. You’d know all about secrets, right Patton?”

Patton squeaked softly.

“You don’t get to speak to him,” said Roman, firmly, “I thought I’d made that perfectly clear.”

“Oh dear, I must have forgotten. Silly me.” Deceit took a long drag of his cigarette.

“Is there something you need?” Logan spoke next. All emotion vanished from his voice, replaced with something robotic and… almost dangerous, “If you are simply here to bother us than I suggest you find someone else to be a nuisance to.”

“Aah, Logan… I’ve missed you. Heard you’re doing _so well_ in maths now, though how difficult can that be, when you’re in the same class as…” his eyes glanced over Virgil, “… the simple-minded students.”

Virgil wanted the earth to swallow him whole.

“You are very considerable, Deceit.” Logan retorted, “I heard about how you’d taken my spot in my old class – you know what they say, there’s no shame in being the second choice. Or asking our parents for help getting there…”

Deceit’s pupils shrank, “Oh… you are envious of my parents? This makes sense. Not all of us come from a bloodline as healthy as mine, can we? Especially with all those terrible diseases out there… natural selection and all that? Don’t you agree, Roman?”

Roman had gone pale.

“Oh, how was your show? I’m afraid I missed it…”

Roman sprung to his feet, but Patton was faster. He grabbed Roman by the shoulders, keeping his gaze down.

“Aw, sweet.” Deceit smiled, “Patton… don’t hold him back. You’re always holding your friends back… let him do what he wants. I hear the football team needs new helmets, I’m sure your costume budget would be more than enough.”

“Tell us what you want or leave.” Roman kept his voice steady, “You are not welcome here.”

Deceit shrugged, “I just wanted to visit some dear old friends of mine. I missed Virgil, but I hear he and Logan have become very good friends. Isn’t that wonderful, Patton? Don’t you love how close they are?”

Patton seemed to have lost the ability to speak.

“Don’t be jealous. There’s enough Virgil for all of us… but you’re keeping him to yourself, Logan. Don’t you like sharing?”

Logan had risen to his feet. His face icy and stoic. The others watched as he took several silent steps towards Deceit, his hands clasped loosely behind his back. Something resembling concern had spread across Deceit’s face, but he continued to smirk – even as Logan stopped right in front of him. Virgil didn’t realize how tall Logan was until their faces were inches apart.

It was so quiet you could hear the butterflies landing on the flowers around them.

Logan said nothing at first, before making a soft clicking sound at the back of his throat, “… Will that be all?”

Deceit’s breathing hitched slightly, his gaze flitting between all of them. He laughed a little through his nose and stepped back, “I have to get going now. This was fun – let’s do it again sometime. I’ll see you soon Logan… Roman… Virgil… _Patton._ ”

He flicked his cigarette at the blanket, spinning around and walking away. The guys looked down and saw where it had landed – right on top of the cake Patton had made for them. Logan reached down instantly to pick it up, throwing it to the side – but it was too late. The top of the cake had been singed, ash clinging to the cream.

Patton slowly sank down onto the blanket.

Roman sunk down after him, “W-we can save it!” he said, trying to brush the cake clean, “Don’t worry, Patton! It looks delicious, it-”

“It’s fine…” Patton’s voice was barely a whisper, “… i-it wasn’t that good. I didn’t use enough eggs… I-I’ll make another, s-sometime… next time…”

 

The picnic ended there.

They gathered up the remains of the food, wrapped up the blanket, and headed back towards the school. Roman offered to ask to kitchen if they could keep the food there, but Patton didn’t respond. Virgil decided it would be best to take Patton back to their room.

Once the door was closed behind them, Patton sat down on his bed, his eyes glossed over. Virgil sat across from him.

“… I’m sorry, Pat.” Virgil didn’t know what else to say.

Patton forced a smile, “It’s fine! Everything’s fine! I-it was just a cake, I make them all the time!! I-I can make another now, w-we can have it for dinner! I love c-cake for dinner, even though L-Logan says…”

“Patton,” said Virgil, a little more firmly, “you don’t have to… always do that. Saying you’re fine. You don’t have to be fine.”

Patton was shaking now, “B-but… I am fine! I’m always fine! I-it’s… it’s fine…” tears began to spill down his cheeks, “I… am fine… fine… I’m fine…”

Virgil shook his head, “You’re not fine. As someone who tends to… try and hide their emotions from everyone, I can tell when someone’s just saying they’re fine.”

“B-but…” Patton tried in vain to dry his cheeks, “I have t-to be fine. Logan is stressed a l-lot with all his work, a-and Roman… Roman had his show cancelled… a-and you had all that trouble with… with…” he sniffed, “I have to be fine. I-I have to be there for them… R-Roman must be so upset right now, I should-”

“ _You’re_ upset right now!” Virgil sighed, “You can’t always be there for everyone else… it’s not healthy. You have to take care of yourself before you try and help anyone else!”

Patton shook his head, “N-no, I don’t need taking care of! I-I’m fine! I need to be there for my friends, and that’s what’s most important t-to me… I’ll be fine. I’m always fine. Everything which happened between me and Deceit was my fault, a-and I don’t n-need to burden everyone else… wh-when they have so much… s-so much…”

He hid his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking. Virgil crossed the room and sat beside him.

“Patton… what did Deceit do to you?”

Patton looked up, wiping his nose with his sleeve like a child, “… Nothing real bad. H-he just… we…” he sighed, “… we met last year. L-Logan, Roman, and I had been hanging out a lot more than before. R-Roman was my roommate last year, too! W-we met at lunch one day. I was waiting for the others when Deceit joined my table. He was so nice… h-he said he didn’t have many friends, b-but that he always wanted to talk to me, b-because I looked friendly. Then Roman came in and told him to leave… I-I said not to be mean to him! It looked like they were going to fight each other, s-so Deceit left. Roman told me to stay away from him, b-but he didn’t say why.”

Virgil knew why – but kept quiet.

“I kept seeing Deceit everywhere I went. I didn’t tell the others… Roman seemed to hate him. Deceit said that… it was because he and Roman had a big fight when they were kids, and that Roman holds grudges. H-he said that if anyone hurts Roman he doesn’t forget. He said that… if I wanted Roman to keep being my friend… I had to not be selfish or mean to him, _ever._ But…” more tears dripped onto his lap, “… he said he didn’t want  _us_ to… stop seeing each other. H-he said he liked me better than anyone else in the school… said all these wonderful things, and… he made my head spin. I th-thought that… maybe he liked me? Like… really liked me.

He was always talking about h-how great it was that I put everyone else first. B-but… if I ever needed to cancel our meetings… or I hung out with the others… he looked sad. He told me I was being selfish, th-that he was disappointed in me. I felt so awful…

Whenever I was around Roman he started showing up, too. He wouldn’t leave until I left with him, and I-I didn’t want them to start fighting, so I did. He acted really… aggressive if I’d hung out with Logan. He said awful things about them. I said they weren’t true, a-and he’d accuse me of calling him a liar. I’d never do that! I-I’m a good person… I am… I have to be a good person… h-he said he… just wanted to help me… help me be good…”

Virgil was torn between three options. Throwing up, going to find Deceit and punching his lights out, or…

He went with the third option and put his arm around Patton’s shoulders, who immediately leaned against him.

“Eventually…” Patton continued, “… I stopped seeing Roman and Logan. But this made me miserable… and Deceit just got angrier whenever he saw me being sad about it. I tried to pretend b-but it wasn’t enough. One day he started shouting at me… he never shouts, I-I was scared, I th-thought h-he might…” he shivered, “… that’s when the others found us. Roman shoved him away. Deceit just… left. He just walked away, l-like I didn’t matter to him. By the time summer had come… he seemed to have forgotten all about me.”

Virgil rubbed his hand up and down Patton’s back, “… I’m so sorry, Patton.”

Patton sniffed, “I… could tell h-he was doing the same thing to you. I was scared. You’re my friend, and wh-when I thought about him hurting you like he hurt me… I couldn’t stand it. So… I spoke to Roman. We agreed that the three of us would protect you. I think Roman… felt responsible for what happened before. So I had to tell him it would be fine. I made him promise not to tell you, I’m sorry. He was worried about me, too… so I had to tell him I was fine. That I was always fine. Always… fine.”

Virgil nodded, “… But you’re not fine.”

“… I’m not.” He sobbed, covering his eyes, “I’m not fine! I’m not okay! I’m scared! I’m scared of him! I’m scared for you! I’m scared th-that the others… th-think I don’t care about them. I abandoned them for him… what if they’ll never forgive me? Wh-what if they…”

Virgil closed his eyes. It all made sense now.

_Patton wasn’t afraid of being replaced._

_Patton was afraid of being **abandoned.**_

“Look…” Virgil pulled him closer, “… I know you’re scared. That’s okay, I’m scared too. But… it’s okay to take care of yourself. You don’t have to put everyone else’s needs ahead of your own. You’re spreading yourself too thin – you… can’t pour from an empty jug, right?”

Patton gave a weak nod, “… I-I don’t want to… be selfish…”

“There’s nothing selfish about looking after yourself. Or… telling others how you really feel. I learned that the hard way… I’m still learning. We can… learn together, okay? You told me the truth, didn’t you?”

“Y-yeah… but y-you have problems, too… with Deceit…”

“And you helped me. Now, I’m helping you. Isn’t that what friends do? Help each other? You… can’t be expected to always be there for others if they’re not going to be there for you. They _will_ be there for you – you just have to let them. You… deserve that. They love you. They do appreciate you. You don’t have to be scared, they’ll never abandon you. I promise.”

Patton looked up, his eyes red, “… Pinkie swear?”

Virgil obliged, “Pinkie swear. I’ll always be there for you too. You’re… my best friend, Patton.”

A smile spread across Patton’s face, “Really?”

“Yeah. I like you more than Fall Out Boy.”

Patton gasped, “Don’t say things you can’t take back!”

Virgil laughed, “I’m not. Thank you for… telling me the truth. Do you want to head downstairs? I’m sure the others are worried…”

Patton took a deep breath, “… Yeah. I’m ready.”

 

Once Patton cleaned his face, they met Logan and Roman in the dining hall. As they sat down, Roman turned to him, “… Are you alright, Patton?”

“I’m f…” Patton paused, “… N-not really. I… he scared me, today… I got upset.”

Roman put his arm around him, “Hey… it’s alright. Not everyone can be as brave as me. I mean… it’s no surprise that he scared you. But _we’re_ here, and we won’t let anything happen to you. You’re safe now.”

Patton closed his eyes. He melted into Roman’s embrace, a peaceful smile on his lips, “… Thank you, Roman.”

“Of course. You can always come to us if you’re upset again.”

Logan looked a little fidgety, “Can I get you something to drink? Some water?”

“No, that’s… actually, that would be lovely… thank you.”

“Of course.” Logan nodded, standing up, “I will be right back.”

Virgil met Patton’s gaze – they both smiled.

“You spend so much time looking after us,” said Roman, “let us look after you tonight, alright?”

Patton nodded, “I… think I’d like that.”

 


	17. Colour

“You seem much better today.”

“Yeah, I really am!”

“Not just saying that so I stop asking?”

Patton and Virgil were walking through the corridors, heading to the dining hall to meet the others for dinner. They’d just spent their final class of the day together, for most of which Virgil spent asking Patton how he was doing, over and over. Was he anxious about the other’s feelings? Yes. Was he anxious about asking too many questions? _Also yes._

Luckily, Patton didn’t seem to mind. They’d spent Saturday night and all of Sunday looking after him; they made him cups of tea, watched the movies he liked best, even ordered a pizza (which Roman smuggled into their room). Patton did look considerably better, but Virgil just wanted to make sure…

“Not anymore, roomie.” Patton smiled and nudged his shoulder, “I like that you’re asking, though! Means you care – but I am good today. I promise!”

“I know… I just worry about you.”

“Well, you are a worrier. A worrying warrior!”

Virgil snorted, “Dork.”

“That’s me!”

“What do you think they’ll be serving today?”

Patton had an uncanny gift to guess what would be served at every mealtime – nine times out of ten he was right.

“Well, it’s Monday, so… I think it’ll be those mini pizzas, pasta salad, and… oh, and quesadillas! The ones with the cheese slices.”

“Ah, a boarding-school multicultural feast.”

“I’m gonna have **five** quesadillas!”

“Sounds great, Patton.”

 

Patton grabbed five slices of cheese wrapped in white tortillas (truly an insult to Mexican culture), while Virgil helped himself to a couple square-shaped pizzas. Logan was waiting for them at a table, but strangely… he was the only one there.

“Where’s Roman?” Virgil wondered out loud.

“Hello to you too, Virgil.” Logan looked up from his homework.

“Oh, hey, Logan.” They sat down, Patton tucking into his meal while Virgil tried to find the best corner of pizza to start on, “Sorry, it’s just… he’s usually here before us.”

“Roman will be eating later today, he said he had some work to take care of in the auditorium.” Logan explained, skewering a piece of pasta onto his fork, “I’m unsure what it is. He didn’t say.”

“Cool.” Virgil nodded, biting into a corner of his pizza – it tasted like tomato-flavoured rubber. “I swear the food here was better before…”

“Budget cuts.” Logan shrugged, “In other news, the football team now have new helmets.”

“Great, if we’re hungry later we can go watch their practice…”

“I know you’re joking, but in case you’re not…”

Virgil smiled, “Don’t worry, I am. Sports are, what’s the phrase… dumb?”

“… Yes.” Logan nodded, “While physical exercise is invaluable to a healthy, productive lifestyle, I too find the whole culture surrounding sport and sports teams to be… dumb.”

Virgil looked him up and down, “You exercise?”

“I jog for one hour every morning. I find this gets the blood and oxygen pumping, allowing me to feel more awake and productive for the rest of the day. More so than coffee. Perhaps you would like to join me?”

“Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-”

“Very well.” He turned to the other, “Patton?”

Patton’s cheeks reddened, “Um… sure! That sounds fun!”

“Good. I will meet you in the western courtyard at 6am. Bring a bottle of water.”

Patton nodded, unblinking, “O-okay!”

Virgil felt something vibrating in his pocket. He reached in and pulled out his phone – there was a message from Roman.

**Roman:** _I need your help._

Virgil felt his blood turn to ice. Was it Deceit? Was he in trouble?

 **Virgil:** _???_

**Roman:** _I’m in the auditorium. I need some assistance_

**Virgil:** _Are you in danger or can I finish my pizza?_

**Roman:** _They’re serving “pizza” tonight?_

**Virgil:** _Yeah, it’s terrible but pizza is pizza_

**Roman:** _Eat fast. I am facing a terrible dilemma and right now you’re the only one who can help me with this_

**Virgil:** _No pressure, huh?_

**Roman:** _Typing is not eating!!_

**Virgil:** _I’m almost done. This better be important…_

**Roman:** _The most important thing you’ll ever do_

 

Virgil swallowed the last piece of his dinner, excused himself from the table, and hurried down to the auditorium. He kept an eye out for any tall, hat-wearing sociopaths, keeping his pace to a light job. He was out of breath by the time he reached it – how the hell did Logan do this for an hour every day? How was Patton going to cope with this?

He took a few minutes to steady his heartrate, before pushing open the door and slipping inside. “Hello?”

“Ah, Virgil!” came a voice from the stage.

Roman was dressed in a white shirt and black jeans, a clean pair of red converse on his feet. He had a sheet of paper in one hand, his forehead glistening under the spotlight shining down from the ceiling. He appeared to be performing, but there was no one else there, save now for Virgil.

Virgil walked down towards the stage, “So, what was so important?”

Roman hopped towards the front of the stage, kneeling down. He was grinning from ear to ear, sweat dripping down his face and staining his hair. He looked practically ecstatic, like he just found out he’d won the lottery. “I’ve regained my lost motivation! My creativity! I-I can’t seem to stop coming up with brilliant ideas for my musical! I wrote this in last period!” he shoved the piece of paper into Virgil’s hands, who almost dropped it, “Good, huh? Do you like it?”

Virgil glanced between the paper and the trembling actor, “You called me here to ask for my opinion on a script?”

“Sort of.” Roman leapt to his feet and started pacing around the stage, “I know it reads well, but what makes a script good is whether or not it translates well up here,” he gestured around him. “I’ve been trying to rehearse it myself, but… the characters are so different. I know I’m good, but… I can only be so many people at once! Which is why… I was hoping you could..?”

Virgil glowered up at him, “… You want me to read it with you?”

“… Yeeees?”

“Roman – I don’t act! I… I can’t act! Couldn’t you have asked the others, I know Patton would-”

“I haven’t exactly… told the others about this yet. I didn’t want anyone else to know until I was _sure_ this show could become… _something._ I only told you because… well… I don’t know, I trust you not to make a big deal about it. Please? You only have a few lines!”

“Roman…”

“I’ll buy you pizza every weekend for the rest of the month!”

“… **Fine.** ”

Roman did a little dance, “Thank you!” he reached down and hauled Virgil onto the stage, who had to cover his eyes.

“That light is so bright… how can you focus with that?”

“Yeah, I don’t know how to turn it down. The techies and the AV club usually handle all of that…”

Virgil sighed, squinting down at the page, “Alright… uh… so I’m Cato?”

“Yes. I’ll be playing the part of Fabian. Now…” Roman posed dramatically, “In this scene, Fabian is forced to choose between his duties as a knight, and the reasons he became a knight in the first place. His reality and his ideologies. A choice which is only made more difficult when he realizes that his best friend, Prince Cato, may be… the love of his life.”

Virgil felt the colour drain from his face, “… The what of his what?”

Roman shrugged, “You can’t have a musical without a little romance, can you?”

“Do I have to sing?”

“No,” Roman shook his head, “this is simply a conversation between the characters. When you feel ready to begin, just go ahead!”

Virgil glared down at the script, “… F-Fabian… I was… uh…” he sighed, “I feel stupid.”

“Honestly?” Roman gave a little smile, “Me too.”

Virgil smirked, “… Fabian. I was not expecting to find you here. I thought the big tournament was tonight?”

Roman grinned, looking down at his own script, “It is. But I had to see you… my dear Cato, I am wracked with feelings I never imagined. I feel myself being torn apart.”

“What’s the matter, my… _dear_ Fabian.”

“I am at a loss!” Roman (or Fabian) began walking around the stage, “All these tournaments… pitting me against my brothers in arms… and for what?”

“For the people, Fabian. The people want to see you.”

“This is not what it was supposed to be! When I took up the sword, I did so to protect them! I did so to protect _you_ , my friend. Yet look at me now – I am no knight, I am merely a pretender! This armour is nothing but a costume, the tournament is nothing but a stage. That assassin almost had you, Cato… I almost lost you for good. Where was I? If I had been even a second later…” Roman/Fabian stopped before Virgil/Cato, “… I’d have lost everything.”

Virgil’s hands were shaking so much it was difficult to read, “… Everything?”

“You were the one who believed in me. You took my reasons and you created a purpose. I suppose… I have always been pretending. My desire to join the knighthood was nothing more than schoolboy fantasies – a childish dream. But when I stand with you, my dear… I no longer need to pretend.”

Their hands were touching. The script slipped from Virgil’s fingers, but neither made an attempt to catch it.

“When I fought, I fought for myself – even when defending others. I wanted to be seen as a knight – but no longer will this do. I cannot be seen if I cannot be. What do you see, Cato? Do you see a knight? A friend? Or…”

Roman faltered. He looked down at their clasped hands, swallowed hard, and chuckled, “Uh… th-this was the part where… I would have kissed you. But… w-we can jump straight to, uh…”

Virgil felt as though his entire body was on fire. His heart was hammering in his ears, his skin so sensitive beneath Roman’s touch. Whether it was the brightness of the spotlight, the shaking in his legs, or the rich brown of Roman’s eyes… Virgil had lost the ability to think.

But he didn’t care.

He didn’t care.

He knew what he wanted to do.

For the first time in his life – there was nothing to hold him back.

“ _Do it._ ”

Roman leaned away, “… What?”

“Just… you know, do it. You’re an actor. A-act.”

Roman seemed unsure what to do. He looked down at their hands once more, gaze flickering left and right, trapped within his own thoughts. “I…” their eyes met once more, “… are you certain?”

Virgil nodded.

“… Wh-when I fought… I fought for myself. E-even when… defending others.” Roman took Virgil’s hands and brought them to his side, taking one slow, silent step towards him, “I wanted to be seen as a knight – but _no longer_ will this do.” As their noses brushed together, Roman wet his lips. “I cannot be seen… if… I cannot… be.”

The world around them fell into darkness. It did not exist anymore. There were no empty chairs facing them. No classes. No penalties. No Deceit. No danger. No stress. No anxieties. 

Roman’s voice was barely a whisper, “… What do you see, Cato?”

As Virgil’s eyes fluttered closed, he felt his forehead press gently against the others. Their breathing perfectly matched – hearts beating together, and beating fast.

“Do you see a knight?”

_I see you._

“A friend?”

_I see you._

“Or…”

_“I see you…”_

Virgil’s head tilted to one side as Roman leaned in, their lips brushed together, gentle and soft. Virgil’s hands slipped free from Roman’s, gliding up his arms and resting on his neck. He heard Roman inhale sharply as his hands grasped Virgil’s waist, pulling him closer.

Roman kissed him.

Tender.

Careful.

As if scared he would break.

It was Virgil who leaned in deeper.

_Firm. Warm. New. All new. Safe. Scary? But safe. Hands touching hair… soft… soft hair, damp from sweat. Hands on his lower back. Holding close. Don’t let go…_

There were no sounds but Roman’s slow, heavy breathing against his skin. He smelled like mint and spices. He kissed him again. And again. Virgil had stopped trembling – his body numb, unless it was being touched by Roman. Alive. Brought to life.

_Colour._

_Colour everywhere._

_Colour flowing through his veins and swimming through his head._

An eternity must have passed before they broke away, noses still touching, the colours still flowing. Virgil wanted to kiss him again – but Roman had looked away. He was staring at something. There was fear in his eyes.

Virgil followed his gaze… and the colours were gone.

The world was back.

Logan and Patton were standing by the door, watching them.

Patton was smiling.

Logan was not…


	18. Get Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI MY NAME IS DARCY AND I DON'T HAVE WORK TODAY SO I'M PROBABLY GOING TO SIT HERE AND KEEP WRITING NEW CHAPTERS BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TAKE BREAKS
> 
> I AM RIDING THIS HYPER-FOCUS TRAIN ALL THE WAY TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH
> 
> If you'd like to tell me to go to bed you can join my public TS & Sanders Sides Discord server: https://discord.gg/8XanACg or yell at me on writing tumblr: darcylovette.tumblr.com or my fandom one: ur-fam-ily.tumblr.com
> 
> time is an illusion

_Oh crap._

_Crap._

**_Crap._ **

Virgil had his pillow pressed against his face, muffling his low, seemingly endless groans. By this point he’d already missed breakfast – his first class of the day was in twenty minutes. If he didn’t get up now and start getting dressed… he was going to be late.

But his first class of the day was maths… with Logan.

_Logan…_

He wasn’t sure why, but Logan felt like the last person he wanted to see right now. Patton certainly seemed excited about the whole thing – he’d have questions. So many questions… questions Virgil wouldn’t know how to answer. Questions Virgil didn’t want to answer. Questions Virgil couldn’t stop asking himself.

As for Roman… well… he couldn’t face him for obvious reasons. Why did he do that? Tell him to kiss him? He told him to do it! Why?! What happened to him? Why did he do that?! Why was he so confident in that moment, yet so scared in the next?

 _Logan._ He just seemed… unresponsive. He always seemed to wear this look of contempt and boredom, unless given a reason otherwise. But when Virgil saw him standing at the back of the auditorium, he didn’t seem to be expressing anything. His eyes were empty. His lips pressed into a fine line. His arms hung by his sides, straight and rigid. Was he shocked? Angry? Did he disprove of what he was seeing? Was he feeling anything at all?

He’d left so quickly it was impossible for Virgil to really tell. But from what he’d managed to see in the darkness… it made his stomach hurt. Patton had been muttering something he couldn’t hear, but he was grinning wide and jumping. He said something about _leaving them alone_ and left. Clearly he was excited about this… _ugh._

_What am I going to do..?_

Virgil had made a pathetic excuse about needing to leave and ran from the stage, out the door, and into his room before Roman was given a chance to react. He climbed under the covers and pulled them over his head.

But he didn’t sleep that night.

Patton didn’t even try to wake up… he’d left early that morning. Yeah – he was meeting Logan for their 6am jog, right?

Virgil knew he was making it all worse by staying in bed… the thought of them all sitting in the dining hall, the awkward silences, the questions… he couldn’t be a part of that. Even if it made it worse, he just couldn’t face them. Not now. Not today.

Logan was supposed to be tutoring him later… oh god, what was he going to say? Was he going to talk about it at all? Which was worse – discussing the issue, or pretending it didn’t exist?

No.

He couldn’t face it.

He couldn’t face _them._

He certainly couldn’t face _Roman._

Grabbing his phone from the bedside table, he scrolled through his contacts until he found the one he needed. The academy’s reception.

He told them he was sick.

Wrapping himself up in his duvet, he felt most of his immediate anxieties melting away. He knew he was being cowardly – he knew he was running away – hiding – but in that moment he couldn’t muster the energy to care. He was so tired.

_He just wanted to sleep._

 

Virgil woke just shy of 4pm. He opened his phone and saw a number of missed calls and texts. Most were from Patton, wondering where he was – he felt a stab of guilt in his stomach. He shot him a quick text.

 **Virgil:** _Hey. Sorry, I felt super ill today. Been sleeping. Gonna try and make it to dinner. Sorry if I worried you_

There was one text from someone else.

 **Logan:** _You were not in class today. If you are ill, you will not be required to attend our session._

He didn’t even ask how he was, or in any way suggest that he hoped he was well. The text was so cold and uncaring. No – this wasn’t right. This was how Logan **used** to be, back when they first met. Was he really that angry at him? Why did he care? Why did he care about who Virgil kissed?

_Unless…_

No. No, no, no. That was crazy. Sure, Logan seemed annoyed that Virgil had… _kissed…_ Roman, but that couldn’t mean… could it?

Did Logan… somehow?

Have feelings…

… for **Roman?**

It would have explained his reaction.

It would explain a lot of things.

It made some things more confusing, of course, but… if it was true… then Logan needed to know the truth. That it was all a show – it didn’t mean anything.

_Didn’t it?_

**No.**

It was all a show.

He had to tell Logan the _truth._

 

He wasn’t in the library.

But Virgil knew where he would be.

He knocked on the door of the abandoned classroom. There was no answer, but Virgil let himself in anyway.

Logan was sitting on the green couch. His legs were crossed, his posture straight, his hands pressed together against his chin. He seemed so deep in thought he didn’t notice Virgil had entered.

The silence which hung in the air was deafening.

“Hey…”

Logan’s gaze snapped towards him, but his face remained the same, “… What are you doing? I did not invite you here. Please leave.”

His words felt like glass against his skin, but he stood his ground, “I want to talk.”

“Your tutoring has been cancelled for today. Now, please go.”

“I’m not leaving…”

Logan’s hands dropped to his knees. He pushed himself up, “I will not ask you again.”

“I want to talk about what… what you saw last night. Please?”

Logan’s eye twitched, “Why? What business is it of mine who you choose to do that with? I am not your teacher. Not your parent. I hold no influence over your life or your decisions. Get out.”

“Logan-”

“Get. Out. Now!” he shouted.

Virgil took a stunned step back. Did Logan just… raise his voice at him? He never did that. He’d never done that. He was angry. _He knew it..._

“I know the truth!” Virgil yelled back, “I know, okay? I know how you feel! Th-that’s why I’m here!!”

“… Wh-what are you talking about?”

“I…” Virgil felt so awkward. He dropped his gaze, “I know… about your feelings. I should have realized it sooner, but… I don’t know, I’m bad at this sort of thing. If I’d have known sooner… I wouldn’t have done what I did. I’d never have kissed Roman… if I knew about how you felt.”

Logan closed his eyes, slowly falling back onto the couch, “… Oh.”

“So… I’m right?”

Logan’s fingers were twisting together – the same way Virgil’s did when he was nervous, “This… is new for me. Very new. I have found myself undergoing… a great change in my perception of reality. Feelings, that sort of thing. I suppose… I may be… experiencing… something new. I cannot say for sure what, but… yes. It did make me… angry, seeing the two of you… but do not allow me to stand in your way.”

Virgil was right.

Logan **did** had feelings for Roman.

Virgil exhaled through pursed lips, “I can’t believe it… I honestly… would never have seen this coming.”

“Neither would I.”

Virgil crossed the room and sat down beside him – Logan tensed up, “Look… I came here to tell you… not to worry. Roman and I… we’re not a thing. That kiss you saw? I was helping him rehearse a scene. I know, it sounds stupid… but that’s the truth. We got a bit carried away – but it meant nothing! I swear! It meant nothing!”

Logan stopped fidgeting, “… Does Roman feel the same way?”

“Yes,” said Virgil, “of course. Please… believe me. It meant nothing. I-I think… if you h-have these feelings… you should… be honest with them.”

Logan met his gaze, “… What are you saying?”

“What happened between Roman and I… was nothing. Don’t let it hold you back.”

Logan thought for a little while, rubbing a finger along his chin, “… So if I… perhaps… was to… do the same thing? That would be… acceptable, to you?”

Virgil smiled, though something in his chest was breaking, “Yes. Do it.”

“Right now?”

“Sure.”

Logan shuffled towards him, “I have your permission?”

Virgil shrugged, “I… guess you do.”

They looked at each other.

Was Virgil really happy with this? No. He wasn’t. He wasn’t sure what his feelings for Roman were, but they didn’t matter right now. Clearly, Logan felt something stronger, for longer than he had. It wasn’t fair for Virgil to stand in his way. It wasn’t fair to-

 

-his thoughts were cut off as Logan leaned over… and planted a kiss directly onto Virgil’s lips.

It was soft.

It was desperate.

It was sudden.

 

Virgil felt something click in his brain.

 

_Oh._

_Crap._

****

**_Roman wasn’t the one Logan had feelings for…_ **

 

The kiss was over as soon as it had begun. Logan pulled back, looking away, a finger pressed against his own lips. He looked a little scared. He was blinking so fast.

Virgil could only stare at him.

“Hm.” Logan managed to croak, “… Interesting…”

“Uh…”

“Virgil?”

“I… I…”

How the hell was he supposed to explain this?! How was he supposed to get out of this?! What did this mean? What was he supposed to say? Why did he feel so funny? WHY DID EVERYONE SUDDENLY START KISSING HIM?!

“Are you alright?” Logan wouldn’t look at him, “That was too sudden… I apologise. But… Virgil… I suppose I must… I must confess… I…”

“I have to go now.”

Virgil jumped to his feet and practically threw himself through the door.

Logan didn’t chase him.

He bounced off walls and skidding around corners in his attempt to get as far away from Logan as possible. All the while his brain seemed to be arguing with itself. Torn between his disgust at himself for responding the way he did, his annoyance at himself for not realizing what was really going on, and his overwhelming desire to get out get out _get out._

He couldn’t breathe but he didn’t stop.

He was lost.

He’d never been to this part of the school before.

It was empty and quiet.

Blood pounding in his ears.

_Keep running._

_Keep running._

**_Slam._ **

He collided with something.

Something tall.

Something which grabbed his shoulders before he could recoil back.

Something smiling.

Something which smelled like cigarettes.

“Virgil…” chuckled Deceit, “my, my… haven’t you been a busy boy?”


	19. Fight Or Flight

“My, my… haven’t you been a busy boy?”

Virgil glared up at him. His skin seemed to itch wherever Deceit touched – even beneath his shirt. Refusing to break eye contact, Virgil lifted his hands and shoved the other’s away from his shoulders.

“I told you to leave me alone.” He growled, taking a step backwards. His back hit a row of lockers with a light _crash_.

“Yes, yes, I’m sure you said something like that.” Deceit smirked, crossing his arms, “I never listen when you speak. Honestly, you’re so dull. Maybe you should stick to just standing there and glaring, you look pretty when you’re brooding…”

Virgil slapped his hand away, which was starting to reach for his cheek, “It’s not going to work this time. I’m leaving now… and you need to stay away from me.”

“Oh, yes… we wouldn’t want your little boyfriend getting jealous, would we?”

Virgil glowered, “Shut up.”

“Remind me – which one is your boyfriend again? The flamboyant one? Or the nerd one?” he gave a faux gasp, “Or is it neither? Well, I didn’t take you for the type… whoring yourself out to any boy who shows you attention?”

Virgil’s stomach dropped.

“That’s right. I know. Two guys in twenty-four hours? Do you really have such little self resp-”

“It wasn’t like that.” Virgil shook his head, “You don’t know anything about what happened.”

“I know that you kissed Roman.” Deceit took a step forward, “I know that you kissed Logan. Who’s next? The next guy to hold the door open for you? If I’d have known it was so easy…” his fingers traced Virgil’s lips, “… I’d have claimed your first kiss long ago.”

“D-don’t touch me.”

“There’s no need to fight…” he leaned closer, “I know you wanted this back when we first met. Don’t you remember? Things were so much better back then… just you and I… we can have that again. I can give you anything you want. No more drama. No more worries. Let me take that all away for you… just stay here with me. Just with me…”

Virgil’s arm moving on its own accord.

His palm collided with the side of Deceit’s face. He staggered back, clutching his cheek.

His eyes were wide. His lips twisted into a snarl.

Virgil looked down at his hand, then back up.

_Oh, no._

_What had he done?_

Deceit started to laugh, “You… ungrateful… selfish… nasty… little brat…” he spat through gritted teeth, “You just won’t learn, will you?  I’ve tried being nice… but I guess you’re going to have to be taught the hard way, won’t you?”

Virgil clenched his hands into fists to stop them shaking, “I’m not afraid of you.”

“Maybe that’s not who you should be scared for…”

Virgil went cold, “… Leave them alone.”

“Oh, so now you care about them?” Deceit laughed coldly, “I’ve yet to see any evidence of that. From what I can see, you’re just using them. Making yourself feel better. Getting all the attention. You think you’re better than me… well you’re not. You’re **nothing.** One of these days you’ll realize that… and you’ll be crawling back to me. Mark my words – you will regret this.”

Glowering one final time, Deceit walked away.

He left Virgil to slide down the lockers onto the ground, hiding his face in his hands.

He’d messed up.

He’d messed up bad.

He had to warn the others.

What happened between he and Roman no longer mattered – he had to talk to Patton.

 

“Patton!”

The boy in questions was sitting on his bed, jolting up at the sound of his name, “Virgil! Are you okay? Where were you, I-I just tried to call you…”

“I’m fine. Listen…” he slammed the door closed behind him, “I just saw Deceit.”

Patton jumped up, running over to him, “No… are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

Virgil shook his head, “No… but… well, I might have, like… slapped him.”

“… Oh.”

“Yeah… like, really hard.”

“Oh, my gosh. Is your hand okay?”

Virgil nodded, “Yeah. Now… I think he’s going to want to… like, get revenge or something.”

“What? Why would you think that?”

“He said he would.”

“Oh, fair enough…”

Virgil slumped down onto his bed, closely followed by Patton, “… I messed up… I was stupid… I just got scared, you know. Whenever it comes to, like, fight or flight, I always choose flight. This time I tried fight and… now I made everything worse.”

“Well… why did you hit him? What happened?”

“I was…” Virgil sighed. No – there was no point lying. Not after he’d given him that huge speech only a few days before. “He knew about… what had happened between Roman and I. What happened was… I was helping Roman with this scene he’d been working on. It was this love scene and… we got carried away. I don’t know, I’m… super confused about it. That’s why I was off sick today. I just didn’t want to… have to face it. It was too much… I-I needed to think.”

“Okay.” Patton nodded supportively, “That’s alright! Sometimes you need time to think. I just… I wish you had told me. I was worried about you!”

“I know. I know. I’m sorry… I’m really sorry.”

Patton touched his hand, “It’s okay. So… how do you feel now?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“Do you like Roman?”

“I don’t know that either…”

“Have you talked to Roman?”

“God, no.” Virgil ran his fingers through his hair, “Well… I, uh… I went to find Logan. He seemed… really annoyed, or something. I had this idea in my head that… maybe Logan liked Roman.”

Patton spluttered, “What? Really? D-does he?”

“No.” Virgil shook his head, “I thought he did, but… I-I think… Logan likes… me?”

“… Y-you do? He… he does?”

“Well, he kissed me…”

Patton said nothing.

“And… I didn’t know what to do so I-I just ran. I ran away and… I got lost. D-Deceit found me and… and he started saying all these horrible things. You know how he is. Accusing me of… things.” He sighed, “He tried to kiss me a-and I panicked and I slapped him.”

“… W-wo-wow…” Patton stammered. Virgil couldn’t seem to look at him, but he could feel the other sinking down into the bed, “… I… uh…” he laughed a little, “I suppose… nobody can blame you for reacting that way. It was self-defence, and you were not in a safe situation. Don’t be mad at yourself.”

Virgil sighed, “I… I guess… this whole day has been so overwhelming.”

“So… L-Logan kissed you?”

“Yeah…”

“Logan is… g-gay?”

“Oh, yeah. Well, it certainly looks that way.”

“I… I always thought he was…” Patton wet his lips, “Well… I’m happy for him. I’m happy for… d-do you like Logan?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know anything… I’m so tired…”

“M-maybe you should talk to him? To both of them?”

“I will… I will… I just… I just need a nap.”

Patton stood up, shaking slightly, “Yeah. D-do you need anything? A drink? A blanket? Is there anything I can do?”

“No…” Virgil fell back onto the bed, “but… thank you for talking it through with me.”

“Of course. Of course. Th-this will all be fine, Virgil…”

“Where are you going?”

“O-oh, I need to… I need to go somewhere… I’ll see you tonight?”

Virgil pulled a pillow under his head, “… Are you sure?”

Patton nodded, his eyes looked glossy, “Yes. I just need to go… get something from one of the teachers. Sleep well!”

Then he was gone.

Virgil was concerned, but soon the pull of sleep was too hard to resist…  


	20. Fourteen Hours

Virgil didn’t wake again until the early hours of the next day.

To say he felt groggy, achy, and overwhelmed would be an understatement. The orange sky outside his window seemed to be mocking him – an unwelcomed reminder of everything he had to do. All the things he had to face. Everything he couldn’t run away from.

He checked the clock – it was almost 6am. Patton would be getting up soon. He looked over at the sleeping form in the adjacent bed; he was fast asleep, snoring softly. He’d been falling asleep a lot earlier and easier than before. Virgil didn’t want to say anything, but he noticed this change seemed to occur after their conversation about Patton’s honesty with his feelings. He had faith in Patton – he’d shown before he could be more open about how he was doing, and when he said he was fine… Virgil believed him.

But something about the way he left last night felt so… unusual. He seemed distressed. Upset, even. But Virgil didn’t want to push him – he’d tell him what was wrong when he was ready. But still… Virgil was concerned about his friend. Was he reading too much into it? Maybe everything was fine, and Virgil was simply being anxious. It was hard to tell when was the time to be calm or panicked.

Maybe he needed more faith in himself…

His train of thought was cut off by the soft beep of Patton’s alarm. He closed his eyes, listening to the other climb out of bed. He waited for the other to get dressed before opening his eyes, “Morning.”

Patton spun around, dressed in a pair of shorts and a bright blue t-shirt, “Oh, morning! Did I wake you?”

Virgil shook his head, “No, I’ve been awake for a while. Just can’t seem to do anything about it.”

Patton smiled, “Hey, don’t worry about it. It’s nice to have some time to do nothing before the day – gives you time to think, huh?”

“Ugh, that’s one of the problems…” Virgil rested an arm over his eyes, “I can’t stop thinking about… everything I have to do today. I have to speak to Roman, and I definitely need to speak to Logan. But I don’t want toooooooooooooooooo…” he groaned, “… can’t everything just go back to normal? To how it was before?”

Patton rubbed his elbow, looking away thoughtfully, “Well… yes. I-I think it can. But… it won’t unless you speak to them. If you try and run away… that will only make it, uhh… worse.”

Virgil sighed, “I hate it when you’re right…”

Patton patted his arm, “It’ll be fine. However terrible it is in your head, I promise it won’t be nearly as bad in reality!”

“It’s hard for me to wallow in my own anxiety when you keep being right about everything…”

“Good!” Patton jumped up, “Well, I’m meeting Logan now… uh… do you want me to talk to him for you?”

Virgil shook his head rapidly, “No. God, no. I mean… I kinda want you to… but no. I need to do this myself. **Dammit.** ”

“Do you want me to stay with you for a little while?”

Virgil thought for a moment, “… No. Get outta here. Have fun exercising, if that’s possible…”

Patton shrugged, “It’s a challenge. But… I am enjoying it. Logan talks the whole time, and… it distracts me from the jogging itself…” he blinked, “well, see you at breakfast?”

Virgil gave a thumbs up, “See you then.”

 

Virgil got out of bed around twenty minutes later – unable to stand the sound of his own thoughts for any longer. He spent the next hour in the shower; staring at the floor, letting the water run down his back, forgetting how to breathe every now and then. When he finally returned to his room and got dressed, it was time for breakfast.

Before he could round the corner into the dining hall, a hand caught Virgil by the arm. He panicked – he saw it was Logan – he panicked again but differently.

“Virgil.”

“… Hey…” Virgil found it difficult to even look at him. He seemed different today – dark bags under his eyes, unshaven, wearing the same shirt he had yesterday. Did Logan have a twin brother or something? One who didn’t shower and iron his clothes every day, or carry four pens and a calculator on his person at all times?

“… May I speak with you? In private?”

“Uh… a-alright.”

Logan led Virgil away from the dining hall to a secluded spot near the Forbidden Courtyard. Okay, that wasn’t what it was actually called, but it sounded cool. Once they were alone, Logan crossed his arms and started to speak.

“First, allow me to apologise. I know that I may have misinterpreted the situation, and I accept full blame for this. You do not need for forgive me. Even…” he sighed, “even if you did want me to… do what I did… I should not have. It was unfair to do this so shortly after what happened between yourself and Roman – no matter the reasons. I should have had more self-restraint. I could tell I made you uncomfortable and scared… this is something I never want to repeat. Therefore – I apologise for my actions and how they affected you. This will not happen again.”

He spoke so fast, as if he’d rehearsed this beforehand and was afraid of forgetting a single word. Virgil could only nod, “… Okay. Um… I… I do forgive you, f-for what it’s worth.”

Logan tapped his fingers against his arms, “… It is worth a great deal to me. The second thing I wish to say is… is…”

He sighed again, taking a step back. He was struggling to make eye contact.

“Virgil… I am confused. Greatly confused. You confuse me. Your poetry confuses me. Everything I am feeling confuses me. Franky… I’m scared, Virgil.”

“… Oh…” Virgil looked away, “… crap. I-I don’t want to… make you feel like that, I-I’m s-”

Logan raised a hand, “Do not apologise. Please. None of this is your fault. But… I have one request of you.”

“S-sure?” Virgil’s heart was racing.

“Meet me in the Western Courtyard tonight. At midnight. In the meantime – I will be thinking about how I feel about you. I wish for you to do the same. Then, regardless of the outcomes, we will… discuss where to go from there. Is this acceptable to you? You do not need to say yes.”

“Uuuuuh…”

_How he feels about him?_

_What did that mean?_

_Did Logan actually like him?_

_He kissed him._

_Surely that meant he does, right?_

_Why would you kiss someone you didn’t like?_

He remembered Roman.

_That was different._

_That was…_

_… oh, hell._

“… Alright.” Virgil nodded, “I’ll see you then.”

Logan gave a sharp nod, “Good.” His voice grew quiet, “Good… I must go, now. Take care, Virgil.”

“You too, Logan.”

 

Logan did not return to the dining hall that day. Thankfully, Roman was nowhere to be seen either. Patton and Virgil sat together over plates of toast, discussing anything which didn’t involve the other two (as per Virgil’s request). As they left to attend their separate classes, Virgil stopped by his locker to grab a couple of books.

He was still struggling to think – it took him four attempts to correctly enter his combination. Finally, the door swung open… and a white envelope fluttered out onto the ground. Before it could be stepped on Virgil swung down and snatched it up, holding it against his chest. Grabbing his books, he slammed the locker shut and hurried down the corridor. It took a while to find a corner secluded enough, but once he did he carefully peeled the envelope open.

Inside was a beautifully handwritten letter.

_Dear Virgil,_

_I did not see you at all yesterday, and I fear this was my fault. I do not blame you for wanting to avoid me after what happened. But I did miss you. Strange – isn’t it? We see each other so often, and one day without you there felt so empty. Perhaps this is not a good thing, but this gave me some time to ponder._

_I cannot get what happened between us out of my mind. I cannot get you out of my mind. I’ve written and rewritten this letter over and over, yet I cannot seem to find the right words._

_Will you meet me tonight? I need to talk with you about all of this._

_You do not need to share my feelings._

_I will be in the Eastern Courtyard tonight at midnight. If I do not see you – then I suppose I will have my answer. Everything will go back to the way it was, if that’s what you want._

_But I hope, one way or another, to see you there._

_Roman x_

 

Virgil heard footsteps and quickly slipped the letter back into the envelope, hiding it inside his bag. The footsteps belonged to a couple of students he didn’t know, who quickly passed him without a second glance. Once he was alone, Virgil put his face in his hands.

_Did they somehow prepare this beforehand?_

_Literally what are the chances of this happening?_

_Was this a dream?_

_Was this a prank?_

_Was this a new TV show?!_

_Why was this happened?!?!_

The final bell rang sharply by Virgil’s ear, forcefully jolting him back to reality.

He started jogging towards his classroom, trying in vain to shove all thoughts to the back of his head. Thoughts of Logan. Thoughts of Roman. Feelings. Choices. Losing either way. Changing. Everything changing. Nothing staying still. Nothing making sense. Twisting. Warping. Choose. Make a choice.

_Only fourteen hours left to go…_


	21. The Countdown

_Nine hours to go._

Virgil could not take his eyes off the clock. Their English classroom had this huge clock on the wall. Virgil never realized how loud it was – every tick echoed through his mind, making his fingers twitch.

He and Patton were sat beside each other. They were supposed to be silently reading, but Virgil couldn’t focus on the words before him. The letters meant nothing. Empty noise and shapes. They made him sick – he had to look away. But his gaze only landed on the clock… that ceaseless ticking… couldn’t it stay still for just a minute? Just a second?

The bell rang.

_Eight hours to go._

Logan and Roman weren’t at dinner.

Virgil didn’t speak much – but that was okay. Patton did enough talking for the both of them.

 

_Seven hours to go._

They returned to their room. Virgil didn’t undress. He sat down in his bed. Staring straight ahead.

 

_One hour to go…_

There was no way around it.

Virgil had choices to make. More than he realized.

Both would be waiting for him. One in the east. One in the west.

**Logan.**

_Roman._

But he couldn’t think about that yet. Which one he would go to… what would it matter if he wouldn’t know what to say? What did he want to say?

What did _they_ want to say?

His mind started to wander – further and further back it went. Moments playing before his eyes like a film, scenes out of order, things said and unsaid swimming in his mind.

Logan.

The one who offered him help when he needed it, without a moment’s hesitation. He taught him, tutored him, gave him a safe space… somewhere even his best friends didn’t know of. He should have seen it sooner.

_‘I believe you see the world much clearer than most. You don’t fixate on dreams or fantasies or things without meaning… you are present. You process things. You understand reality. You may focus too heavily on things which are threats, or things which make you nervous – because you are cautious. Vigilant. Therefore, I do find your presence more… comforting than those who live carelessly or… choose to ignore danger until it is too late. I do… admire these things about you…’_

Logan always had the most peculiar way of complimenting him. He often spoke of the things Virgil wasn’t, rather than the things he was. But he compared him to others, which Virgil did not like. Did Logan like him for who he was, or the ways he wasn’t like _others?_

_‘…it is something I wish to understand further… and that starts with understanding… _ **you**__ _…_ _better…’_

Mysteries. Puzzles. Finding meaning within the meaningless. These were all things Logan seemed to love. Is that what Logan saw in him? Is that what these feelings were? Nothing more than a question he couldn’t leave unsolved? Did he like him at all – or was he just drawn to him for reasons not even Logan could find? Intrigue – comfort – admiration – confusion… all the things which could be misconstrued for something deeper.

He kept his poetry… he still had that damn notebook. It had been months now.

_‘I suppose… I may be… experiencing… something new.’_

Something new.

Something new.

_‘You confuse me.’_

Was that really all it was?

_‘I’m scared.’_

Everything that had happened.

_‘I’m scared.’_

Everything that was happening.

_‘I’m scared…’_

Was it even about Virgil to begin with?

Maybe there was something more… but… it was impossible to say. Perhaps the only one to know was Logan – and even he didn’t know. But whatever Logan was going through – whatever he had to figure out – Virgil knew one thing.

Whatever he was feeling, it wasn’t what Logan thought it was.

_But do I like him?_

Virgil clenched his fists.

 

_No._

That was the truth. A clear, honest fact. Part of him wanted to. Part of him wanted to like Logan, and have him like it back – it would make things so much simpler. They had a lot in common. A similar view of the world. The same love of coffee. It would make sense, right? It would make sense for them to like each other. Logan taught him maths – Virgil taught him poetry. It was something out of a freaking teen rom-com, right?!

_… But it wasn’t right._

Why couldn’t it be right?

How could something so simple be so complicated and so… wrong?

**Dammit.**

They didn’t like each other. Not in that way. Virgil did _like_ Logan, for a great number of reasons. He was a great friend – he was patient, kind, honest. He liked him for reasons he didn’t like him for… because he was Logan. He was flawed. They all were! But he liked him anyway.

The same way he liked Patton.

The same way he…

… Roman.

_Roman._

_Freaking Roman._

Now, he was a different story.

When Virgil first met Roman he had a lot of opinions about him. Arrogant. Egotistical. Rude. Handsome… but terribly aware of it. Why couldn’t he have stayed that way? This was a guy who openly admitted not to liking him – and to only trying to befriend him for Patton’s sake. How the hell could he had become the guy he knew today?

The guy who had his musical cancelled – so he started writing his own.

The guy who was afraid to be true to himself but refused to give into that fear anymore.

The guy who spent so much of his life trying to save others, to be the hero, to be the white knight on his steed… finally overcoming his fantasies and becoming the person he’d always pretended to be?

The guy who was brave, even if he couldn’t see it.

The guy who was resilient as armour.

The guy who would never give up.

The guy who cared so deeply for others he’d put himself in danger.

The guy who Virgil felt proud of.

The guy who Virgil was so wrong about.

The guy who Virgil couldn’t believe how wrong he was about.

The guy who Virgil…

 

… did he?

 

_Dammit._

_Dammit. Dammit. Dammit._

He did.

He freaking did.

But why?

Was it the way he admired him? Was it the way he coloured his drawings? Was it the way he played piano with him? The way he stood up for him? The way his eyes shone when he got excited? The way he spoke so softly when they were alone? The way his lips tasted? The way he radiated on and off stage? The way he trusted him? The way it felt sleeping beside him? The way he made him laugh? The way he laughed?

_Yes._

It was all of those things… and more. So, so much more. Things Virgil couldn’t put into words. Concepts Virgil couldn’t grasp, fluttering inside him like flames – excited, nervous, giddy, safe, helpless, and more. Emotions Virgil didn’t even know existed.

Yet it made sense.

_It didn’t make sense._

Yet it did!

_You know?!_

_Oh, my god._

And Roman felt the same way?

_Oh, my god…_

Virgil didn’t realize how much he was shaking until he felt Patton’s hand on his arm.

“Are you okay?”

Virgil turned to him – the other’s eyes were wide and flooded with concern, but Virgil was too shaken to speak.

“Do you need to go to the nurse?”

Virgil shook his head.

“Is this about… _you know who_ and _you know who?_ ”

Virgil nodded.

“D-did you speak to them?”

Virgil shook his head.

“Are you going to?”

Virgil nodded.

“When?”

Virgil wet his lips, “M-midnight.”

Patton checked his watch, “Oh… wow… wait, both of them?”

“S-sorta.” Virgil jumped to his feet, “I have to go. But… I… well…” he could tell Patton. “Logan and Roman have… both asked to meet me. A-at midnight. L-Logan is in the western c-courtyard, and Roman… is… I need a shower. I-I’m going to go take a shower, a-and then I h-have to go…”

“W-wait!” Patton held out a hand, “Who are you going to go to? Roman? L-Logan?”

_Oh, yeah._

What was he going to do about that?

He couldn’t keep one waiting all night, right? That was cruel.

“I-I’ll figure it out as I go! Bye!”

With that he slammed the door behind him.

He ran into the bathroom… crap, there wasn’t time.

Virgil splashed some water in his face, taking long, deep breaths.

It was time.

Time to go.

But where would he go first?


	22. Midnight

Why were these stairs so endless? Each floor beneath him seemed to stretch on indefinitely, no matter how quickly he powered down them. Virgil was starting to get out of breath, his forehead damp with sweat.

He checked his watch.

He still had twenty minutes.

At last, the stairs ended. He leaped down and began running through the corridors; doors and windows whizzed past him like cars on a freeway. There was a door ahead of him – he was so close. He threw himself against it and it opened, swinging to the side as the cold night air filled his lungs and cooled his forehead.

Virgil looked to the east.

Virgil looked to the west.

He clutched at his shirt, wishing for his heart to stop pounding so fast. He had to think. He had to think…

_Fifteen minutes._

He had time.

Virgil’s gaze lingered on the eastern path. It called to him, urging him to follow. But no… not yet. There was something he had to do.

Something he didn’t want to do.

But there was no running away this time.

Swallowing a lump in his throat, he set off down the western path…

It was so quiet that night.

 

There he was.

Virgil walked as quietly as he could, shielding himself behind a large pillar. He breathed slowly as to not to alert the other to his presence… and peered around the side.

Logan looked the same as he did that morning. Dishevelled, tired, shivering a little in the cold. He couldn’t keep his arms still – he paced back and forth, fingers twitching. Who was this man? Logan didn’t look like this… how could this be Logan?

Virgil felt a horrible twisting feeling in his chest and stomach. He hated this. He hated seeing Logan this way, and he hated knowing what he had to do.

There were no sounds, save for Logan’s footsteps and the pounding in Virgil’s chest. Such a perfect, quiet night… things could never be so perfect, could they? Even on nights like this where the stars shone so brightly in the sky. The moon was full. There was no wind.

Virgil pressed his forehead against the pillar.

It was time.

Take a deep breath…

… what was that sound?

Footsteps – soft, out of time with Logan’s. They were getting closer… Virgil peered as far as he dared behind the pillar. Logan had noticed them to. He’d stopped moving.

Logan was watching something Virgil couldn’t see, but he looked surprised. Shocked.

After a while, he spoke.

“ _… Patton?_ ”

Virgil perked up, pressing his body against the pillar. Patton? Where? What was he doing here? What the hell was going on?

“H-hi… Logan…” the other’s voice was so quiet. Soon he came into view – arms wrapped around himself, head bowed, shaking like a leaf. “I… I, um… I…”

“What are you doing here? It’s late – you could get in trouble.” Said Logan, taking a concerned step forward.

“I know. I know.” Patton nodded, “… I-I just… I have something to say. Th-then I’ll go. O-okay? Okay?”

“… O-of course.” Logan raised a hand slightly, “That is fine. Take your time.”

Patton gave a weak chuckle, “Time… I’ve wanted to say this for almost two years, Logan. I-I’d planned it all out in my head… and now I’m here and I d-don’t know… what to say. I know what I want to say, but… gosh, I’m really making a mess of this, aren’t I?”

“A mess of what, Patton?”

“Everything. Look, I know that you asked Virgil to meet you here. I know about everything.”

“Patton…”

“I just had to… I just…” Patton sighed, “right now… I feel like the worst friend in the world. I-if you like Virgil a-and if there’s a chance Virgil likes you too… I should just stay back. I missed it. I missed my chance. I-I should just accept that, right? I should be a good friend… let you both be happy. That’s what a good person would do, wouldn’t they? Stay quiet? E-even if… even if…” he sniffed, “even if it breaks my heart?”

Virgil went rigid.

_Wait… no… wait._

_What?_

“I want to be a good person. I-I always have! M-maybe it was selfish of me to come here, but… I’ve learned recently that… s-sometimes it’s okay to be a little selfish! No, that sounds bad… this all sounds so bad. B-but… well… y-you gave Virgil a choice. A-and now… I’m giving you one.”

“What…” Logan had stopped shaking, “… are you saying?”

Patton looked up. Their gazes had met. Patton took a deep breath.

“… I love you, Logan.”

The earth seemed to stop moving. Virgil’s eyes flickered between Logan and Patton, his heart in his throat. All this time? All this time?! When Virgil would sit there, talking about how he and Logan had kissed, talking about their planned meeting – Patton was in love with him? That’s why he was upset. But he said nothing… he stood by and said nothing. Patton… so focused on being good, on being a good friend, so blinded by his selflessness…

Virgil was overwhelmed by guilt. He should have seen what was going on. Virgil was the one who should have been a better friend. He should have realized his own feelings about Logan sooner. He should have told Patton to go for it. **He** should have been the one encouraging Patton to meet Logan here – he shouldn’t have had to go through this alone.

He wanted to punch himself in the face.

Wait… Logan hadn’t responded.

Virgil pressed himself as hard as he could against the pillar, every ounce of focus went into listening…

“… Patton…”

Logan looked different. He was standing straight, his immaculate posture was back. His eyes were wide and his lips were parted – glasses sliding down his nose, but no attempt was made to stop them. He took a step forward, then another, he wasn’t shaking anymore.

Something seemed to have clicked in his head.

“Patton… I… I thought he had lied…” he was muttering a little, fingers running through his hair, “I spent… an entire year… convinced this wasn’t true. I told myself it wasn’t true. I-I convinced myself… of so many things. I-I was the one who was lying…” he shook his head, “… I lied to myself. How… how could I be so stupid? How could I be so blind? Of course… of course, th-this… it makes sense now. All of it!”

“V-Virgil will be here soon…” Patton stepped back, “I have to go-”

“No.” Logan ran forward and caught Patton’s arm, “Please… please don’t go.”

“Logan…”

“Stay… please. I…” Logan pulled him forward, “… Patton. Patton… please forgive me.”

“F-for what?”

“For not seeing this sooner.”

“It’s… i-it’s okay… I didn’t want you to know. I… I didn’t tell you…”

“Not just that.” Logan’s hands were resting on Patton’s shoulders, “… Not just that. I’ve been… very confused, as of late. There was so much I didn’t realize before. I told myself… I-I convinced myself… it was so much easier to live in this _fantasy_ I had created. But… I’m not confused anymore. I see it now. I see all of it… everything I thought I knew. Everything I’ve been feeling. I… I cannot put it into words, but now I know. I know…”

“Logan..?”

“It’s you…”

“L-Logan…”

“D-do you really mean what you said? Is this truly how you feel?”

“… Yes.”

Logan was smiling, “… I wish you had told me sooner. All that time we could have had… if I weren’t such a fool.”

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean is…” Logan’s forehead was pressed gently against the others, “Patton… _I am in love with you._ I have been for so long… but I couldn’t see it. I-I couldn’t let myself see it. I was so afraid… I’ve seen what love can do. I’ve seen what it had done to you. I couldn’t… be the one to hurt you, too. I didn’t want to hurt myself. I-if there was even a chance it wasn’t true then… all I saw was… _pain._ B-but this doesn’t hurt… there is no pain… there is no confusion… it’s so clear. Patton. I love you.”

Tears had begun to fall down Patton’s cheeks, his lips quivered as they spread into a smile, “… Y-you mean it?”

“I don’t need to make a choice, Patton. It’s always been you…”

“I… I…” Patton laughed through a sob, wiping his cheeks with the ends of his sleeves, “I always thought… this would be the happiest moment of my life. W-why can’t I stop crying?”

“Are you happy?”

“… Yes.”

“… Me too.”

Their arms wrapped around each other. Patton was still crying, but Logan dried his tears with his fingers. A smile still on his lips, Logan tilted his head and placed a kiss against Patton’s lips. Patton melted against him.

The night was quiet.

The stars were shining.

It was perfect.

Virgil felt something swelling in his heart. He noticed he was smiling too. He was happy. Happy for them. Genuinely happy. He wanted to run over and start cheering for them – he wanted to hug Patton tightly, and tell Logan it was all okay.

But they looked so peaceful together… this was _their_ moment. Virgil felt a little bad for listening in. Giving the two one last glance, he crept away.

 

The eastern path was before him.

Virgil walked down it with ease. His heart was still hammering against his ribcage, his head swimming. He was going to see Roman. He was going to tell him everything.

Logan and Patton had their moment… now it was his turn.

He tried to practice what he was going to say. It was so hard to find the words.

Maybe he should just run up and kiss him?

Was that weird?

But god, did he want to kiss him again…

_The courtyard._

Virgil broke into a light jog, his eyes scanning the darkness for any sign of him. It was so hard to see, even in the bright moonlight.

“Roman!” he cried, skidding to a halt in the middle of the courtyard.

He spun around.

“Roman!”

He listened carefully.

“… Roman?”

Where was he?

“… Roman!!” he shouted, “It’s me! Where are you?”

There was no response.

“Roman!!”

“He’s not here…”

Someone was stepping forward from the shadows. A yellow eye glowing in the darkness…


	23. Fabian & Cato

“He’s not here.”

_No…_

“Yes, he is.” Virgil watched the tall man walk into the moonlight, swallowing the dry lump in his throat, “He’s waiting for me. I-I’m on time. He told me to meet him here.”

“Look around, Virgil.” Deceit waved a hand at the darkness, stepping closer and closer, “Roman isn’t here. He’s gone.”

“What did you do?!” Virgil felt like something inside him was breaking apart, the strings holding him together were starting to snap one by one, “What did you do to him? Tell me!”

“So quick to blame others.” Deceit tutted, something spinning between his fingers. A phone. “You always blame others for your own behaviour, don’t you?”

“Where is Roman?!” Virgil shouted, storming towards him. His blood was boiling.

“He’s gone, Virgil. He left.”

“You’re lying!”

“He was here. He was waiting… but you didn’t come to him, did you? You went the wrong way… and now he’s gone.”

“You’re lying!” Virgil couldn’t stop shaking. Deceit was standing so calmly, he was smirking… Virgil was overwhelmed by rage. “You’re a liar! Tell me where he is! Now!”

“I can’t tell you that.” Deceit gave a shrug, “I don’t know where he went. Oh, he was so upset… poor little Roman. You broke his heart, Virgil.”

“Shut up!!” Virgil clenched his fists, “Shut up! Shut up! You did this! Tell me the truth!!”

Deceit held out the phone. Virgil glanced down at it.

“Take it.”

“This is a trick…”

“No. Take the phone, Virgil.”

Fingers trembling, Virgil reached forward and took the phone. Keeping an eye on the man before him, he turned the screen to face him.

It was a photograph. Taken from above.

The quality was terrible, it took Virgil a few moments to see something which turned his insides to water.

He saw himself, sitting on a green couch, being kissed by Logan.

**No. No. No. No.**

“Y-you…” Virgil let the phone fall from his fingers. Neither tried to stop it clattering onto the ground. “… you…”

“I have access to the security cameras, Virgil. Every room has them.”

Was this how he always found him so quickly? Was this how he always knew what was going on?

He’d been watching him.

All this time.

“… You showed Roman this. Didn’t you?”

“He had the right to know. He wouldn’t have taken my word for it – I needed evidence. He trusted you so deeply… it was the only way.”

Virgil wanted to sink down into a ball. But he remained standing.

“You must understand,” Deceit continued, “you would never have told Roman yourself, would you?”

Virgil shook his head, “Yes. I would. I had nothing to hide!”

“Sure.” Deceit chuckled, “Sure. Forgive me if I don’t believe you… but you cannot blame me for this. This is all your own doing.”

“That’s not true!”

“Yes. It is. You ruined it, Virgil. You spoiled everything.”

“No!”

Deceit grabbed Virgil’s arm and yanked him forward, his free hand placing a finger of Virgil’s lips. “Do not argue with me, Virgil. Accept it – it’s over. Roman is gone. You broke his heart. He doesn’t want to see you… leave him alone.”

“G-get off-”

“They don’t want you. Roman doesn’t love you. Even Logan didn’t really want you… soon enough, even Patton will forget about you too. It’s over.”

Virgil wanted to pull back but he couldn’t move. His vision became blurry, a tear rolled down his cheek. The pain in his chest felt like it was choking him. “It can’t be over…”

“I’m sorry…” Deceit purred, playing with the ends of Virgil’s fringe, “this must be so painful for you. But you have to face the consequences of your actions. I did this for your own good. Virgil… my sweet, naive, careless little Virgil… one day you will understand. Can’t you see I’ve always been there for you? Can’t you see that everything I’ve done has been for you?”

Virgil snarled, “No… everything you’ve done has been for revenge.”

“Perhaps at first. But maybe… now I want more than revenge.” Deceit pulled him closer, “I want more. I want _you,_ Virgil. All to myself. You don’t need them. Roman hates you. Logan doesn’t want you. Patton doesn’t need you anymore. But _you_ need me… even if you don’t realize it. You need me to guide you. To teach you. To punish you. To protect you – even from yourself. I am all you have left now, Virgil. You don’t have the right to say no to this.”

Virgil shoved him. Hard.

“I’d rather be alone than with you…”

“Get back here. Now.”

“No…” Virgil shook his head, stepping back, “I want you to stay away from me.”

“You don’t know what you want…” Deceit followed him. He moved like a predator, ready to strike, “you never have. You don’t know what’s best for you – but I do. All I ask is that you give me a little more… control over you. Is that so much to ask? Look at the mess you made of your own life…”

“Oh, it’s a mess alright.” Virgil spat a laugh at him, “But it’s my mess. And now, I’m going to fix it.”

He turned to leave.

“You’re never going to be rid of me…” Deceit called softly after him, “… you know that, don’t you? I’ll always be one step ahead. I’ll always be watching, waiting for you to mess up again. In case you haven’t realized… I always get what I want. I wanted my revenge, and I took it. Then, when I was satisfied… I threw Patton away. Logan can have him. But you’re _mine._ You always will be. When you finally realize that… you’ll be begging me for forgiveness.”

Virgil stopped.

He turned back.

“Deceit?”

“Yes, Virgil?”

“… Fuck off.”

 

Roman wasn’t answering his phone.

Virgil had no idea where his room was.

But there was one place he knew he’d be… his last option.

Virgil pushed open the door to the auditorium.

 

“Roman?”

He was sitting on the stage, clutching a piece of paper so tightly it looked like it was about to rip. His shoulders were slouched, his head bowed. Roman looked so small under the spotlight.

“Roman…” Virgil walked towards him, but the other didn’t as much as acknowledge him. He didn’t look angry. He didn’t even look sad. He looked empty.

As Virgil approached the stage, Roman finally spoke.

“I thought you’d still be with Logan…” he whispered, “it’s alright. I… I know that you and he… kissed. I didn’t want to believe it, but… I saw you going to meet him. If he is the one your heart desires… do not let me come between you. Go to him… please…”

Virgil pulled himself onto the stage and sat beside him, “I know you talked to Deceit.”

Roman sniffed, “… Were you ever going to tell me?”

Virgil nodded, “Yes. I-I hadn’t planned it very well, but… I promise you, I was. Logan was the one who kissed me. But I don’t like Logan, not like that. That’s what I was going to tell him. But… Patton beat me there.”

“Patton?”

“Yeah. He’s… well, he’s in love with Logan.”

Roman blinked, “… And you only just realized this now?”

“Wait – did everyone know except me?”

“Everyone except you and Logan.” Roman managed a weak smile, “I tried to get him to admit it, but… I think he was scared of being hurt again.”

“Well, when I was going to tell Logan the truth… Patton was already there. He told Logan he loved him, and Logan felt the same way. Huh… I guess… it all kinda worked itself out.”

“So it seems…” Roman played with the piece of paper, “… Virgil… I do not want to be your consolation prize. I do not want to be who you settled for.”

Virgil stared at him, “… Roman… that’s not true. I don’t like Logan. I never wanted to be with him… wh-when I went to him it’s because… I wanted to tell him _just that._ That I didn’t want to be with him. I-I was going to do that… th-then… I was going to come and find you to… to tell you…”

Roman closed his eyes, “… I believe you.” He nodded, “I do. I believe you, I promise.”

Virgil couldn’t find the words to speak. His mind was racing. He glanced down at the paper in Roman’s hands, “… What’s that?”

Roman shrugged, “My script. I’ve… been thinking a lot about… Fabian and Cato.”

“Oh?”

“Well… Fabian was wrong. The way he idolized Cato, the way he placed so much upon the prince’s shoulders was wrong. He shouldn’t have allowed Cato to become his reason for becoming a knight. Perhaps…” he sighed, “perhaps Fabian should stop _trying_ to be a knight. Fabian should… take a break from his role. Fabian needs to look deep inside himself and… and learn who he is, and what he wants. Not for Cato – for himself. Perhaps Cato will wait for him to return, but… perhaps he won’t. But it’s not fair for Fabian to expect this from him – Cato is his own person. Not a… a pawn for Fabian to use in his own journey.”

Virgil had gone completely numb. The only thing he could feel was the sharp, stabbing pain ripping through his chest. He closed his eyes, “… Oh.”

“However…” Roman continued, “… Fabian is in love with Cato. Very… very deeply. Not because he should, not because it benefits him in any way. Fabian simply loves him – for everything he is. Fabian’s journey is one he must take for himself, but… does that mean he has to take it alone? He has friends he can count on, who he knows like him for who he is. He knows they’ll support him and stand by his side, no matter what. He knows… he knows that Cato will do the same. But despite everything… he cannot help the way he feels about him. He’s scared, of course… but why can’t he and Cato be together? Must… must Fabian… leave Cato behind?”

Virgil opened his eyes, “… Well… I think that… Fabian should go on this journey for himself. Not for anyone else. P-plus… if Cato truly loved him too… he’d understand. H-he’d want to stand by his side and help him, in any way he can. F-Fabian shouldn’t need Cato… nobody should ever need anyone like that. B-but if he wants him… and… and Cato wants him too… maybe they could… try.”

“… One day at a time.” Roman smiled.

Virgil rested his head on Roman’s shoulder.

Roman nuzzled against Virgil’s hair, sighing softly.

“Virgil… you take my breath away. You are wonderful. You challenge me and you push me forward, and I appreciate everything that you are. Everyone I have ever dated has only seen me as a knight. As who I pretended to be. Even the ones I thought I loved… I was afraid to be myself. But I don’t want to be afraid… and with you I don’t need to be. But… that’s not why I feel this way for you. It’s hard to put it into words, but… I think you are one of the most incredible people I have ever met. You’re funny, and you’re smart, and you’re brave, and you’re honest, and… I love the sound of your laughter. I love the way you smile when you call me an idiot. You have this… burning energy inside of you, even when you’re scared. God… you’re beautiful, too. In every way.”

Virgil hoped Roman wouldn’t notice the tears in his eyes.

“When I saw you wearing my jacket, I just thought… _my god… look at him._ I saw you. It was… almost too much to bare. I wanted to take you in my arms and kiss you, right then and there. The night I gave you my jacket... seeing it simply hanging from your shoulders... I had to leave. But as I was going, something was calling me back. I didn’t now what, but I just… I wanted to go back. I wanted to see you, and tell you… something. But then I saw Deceit and… I was so scared. I forgot about everything I wanted to say, all I cared about in that moment was you. It wasn’t right for me to tell you how I felt… not while you were going through so much already. So I… I put on the act once more. I pretended to be… someone who wasn’t head over heels for you.”

Virgil sniffed, “… You did a good job. I was convinced.”

“… I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I let Deceit trick me… I should have waited. I should have trusted you, I sh-”

“Shh… it’s okay.”

Virgil took his hand.

“It’s okay, Roman… I’m here now.”

“… Will you stay with me? For a while?”

“I’ll stay here all night if you want me to.”

Roman laughed, “… That sounds wonderful…”

“… C-could I… um…”

Roman maneuverer their heads until they were facing each other. Virgil could feel the other’s eyelashes fluttering against his skin.

“… I would like that.”

Virgil leaned up and kissed Roman. He melted as he felt the other smiling against his lips.

 

All through Sanders Academy, students were experiencing love for the first time.

Hands were being held under desks, fingers intertwining as they hoped nobody would notice. Roommates watching each other sleep in secret, their hearts yearning to sleep beside them and hold them in their arms. Students were hiding in empty classrooms, laughing and pulling each other closer, kissing as they removed each other’s jackets. Two friends were still stood in the western courtyard, arms wrapped around waists, unable to keep their lips off each other.

Then there was Roman and Virgil.

Sitting under the warm glow of the spotlight.

Holding each other until the sun came up…


	24. The Best Day

Roman walked Virgil back to his room as the sun was beginning to rise. Only four hours till their first classes of the day, but neither could think about that right now. All Virgil wanted to think about was how warm it felt to have Roman’s arm holding his waist as he walked, and how a little jolt of giddiness spread through his body with every kiss on the forehead.

The sky was a perfect blend of oranges and pinks above them – it almost didn’t look real. Like something Roman would have created… as if he’d painted the sky, just for him. It seemed a crime to go inside on a morning so beautiful, but the boys simply couldn’t keep their eyes open. Virgil had begun nodding off in the auditorium, and Roman insisted they head back for some much needed sleep. There were many kisses of protest, but eventually Roman won.

The climb up those eight flights of stairs felt like Everest, but Virgil didn’t want them to end. He’d have climbed eight hundred stairs if Roman was by his side… hell, he’d have climbed those stairs with Roman on his back. But soon enough, the stairs came to an end and they were stood outside Virgil’s room… hands clasped together.

“I’m going to see you again in a few hours.” Roman grinned, pushing a lock of hair from Virgil’s face, “Just get some sleep… it’ll come faster that way.”

“I don’t think I’m gonna be able to…” Virgil shrugged.

“You’ll see me in your dreams…”

Virgil grimaced, laughing, “That’s… the corniest thing I’ve ever heard someone say.”

“Aw, you love it.”

“… Maybe…”

“I’ll text you later. Do you… think we should tell the others?”

Virgil thought for a moment, “… Let’s wait for them to tell us first.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Roman leaned down and gave Virgil a soft, lingering kiss goodnight (at five in the morning), “… Until we meet again?”

“… Until then.”

Virgil kissed him again, before slowly turning to unlock the door. He watched Roman walk away, who turned and shot him a wink. Virgil flipped him off. Roman laughed and blew him a kiss.

As soon as the door was closed behind him, a figure jumped out from beneath the sheets of Patton’s bed. Unsurprisingly, it was Patton – looking very tired, very giddy, and very, very guilty.

“Virgil! Oh, thank god, I’ve been waiting for you for hours!” he panted, glasses askew, “Y-you weren’t answering your phone…”

Virgil fished it from his pocket and saw twenty missed calls, all from Patton, “… Oh… crap, sorry. I-I had it on silent. I was… uh…”

“Y-you weren’t here when I got back… I was worried you… you saw…”

“You and Logan?” Virgil tried to hide a smirk, “Yeah… I saw.”

Patton’s face crumbled, “… Oh, god…” he sunk down onto the bed, “Virgil… I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry… I… I never wanted to hurt you. I just… I love him. I-I love Logan, Virgil… I love him so much. I-I wanted to keep away a-and let you both b-be happy…” he sniffed, “I’m sorry. I just… if I didn’t say anything I-I… I knew I would have regretted it for the rest of my life.”

“I don’t like Logan, Patton.” Virgil sat down beside him, “I never did.”

Patton looked up, “… Wait… really?”

“Yeah. I… I did some thinking, and… I realized that I didn’t like him like that. I also realized he didn’t like me like that, either. I was on my way to tell him – I mean, I’ve never had to tell someone they don’t have a crush on me before… but then I saw you. So I left you to it.”

Patton blinked, “… Oh, wow.”

“Yeah.” Virgil laughed, “Listen, you shouldn’t feel guilty about what happened. At all. Please… please don’t. You did the right thing. Even if I did like Logan, I would never hold this against you. Logan and I weren’t dating, and frankly… neither of us were really sure what we felt. But _you_ _loved_ him. You told him before anything could get more serious. Frankly… I really respect you for what you did. It took courage.”

Patton was staring at Virgil as if he’d grown another head, “Uuuuuh… m-me? Courage?”

“Yeah, dude. Plus… I am really, really happy for you guys. Honestly, if I’d have known how you felt, and Logan wasn’t too much of an idiot to realize how he felt, I’d have pestered you every hour of every day until you told him. It would have made this whole mess much easier.”

Patton laughed, “M-maybe. I wish I had, too, knowing what I know now. I was just… super freaking scared!”

“But you did it. Hence – courage.”

“You’re really okay with this?”

“Hell yeah.” Virgil smiled, “Even I’ll admit you guys are… oddly perfect for each other. He’s grumpy and you’re a goofball. It’s like if a cat and a dog got married.”

“Oh, my gosh…” Patton couldn’t stop giggling, “who are you and what have you done with Virgil?”

“Hey, I can be sappy sometimes!” Virgil nudged him, “Seriously, I’m happy for both of you. Please don’t feel bad.”

Patton took a deep breath, “Okay…” he let it out, slowly, “okay… wow. I… I can’t believe this is all happening, you know? It’s like a dream…”

“Well, if it is, you should wake up – go find Logan – and confess your feelings all over again.”

“… I-it’s not really a dream, is it?”

“Nope. This is real, my friend.”

“Phew,” Patton chuckled, “you had me going there for a sec! So… where were you all night?”

“Uh…”

Patton’s face lit up, “… You were, weren’t you?” He grinned, jumping to his feet, “You went to Roman, didn’t you?!”

“… Kinda.”

Patton screamed in excitement, jumping up and down, “Oh, my gosh!! What happened?! Tell me everything!! Do you like him?! Does he like you?! Did you kiss again?!”

Virgil rolled his eyes, though unable to hide his smile, “Ugh… Yes… yes… and yes, many times.”

Patton looked like he might explode from joy, “Yes!” he threw up his arms, “I’m sorry but… ever since that day at lunch… I’ve secretly been hoping you kids would get together! I-I couldn’t help it!”

“Oh, man, you’ve been shipping us?”

“… What’s shipping?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay! But… oh, my gosh! This is the best day ever!!”

Virgil stood up, “I guess it is…” he yawned, “Dammit… why didn’t we do this on a Saturday or something? I’m so tired… can’t we just sleep all day?”

“Uh…” Patton raised his eyebrows, “Virgil… there’s no class today.”

“… What?”

“Yeah! It’s a training day f-for the teachers. Didn’t you get the newsletter?”

“The what?”

“They’re emailed out every Sunday!”

A feeling spread through Virgil, almost comparable to the feeling of kissing Roman for the first time.

“I get to stay in bed?”

“Yep!”

“… You’re right. This **is** the best day ever.”


	25. An Explanation

The rest of the week went by in a blurry flash. Virgil and Roman had agreed to take things slow, which was made slightly difficult by the fact they saw each other every day. Come to think of it – the boys seemed to spend more time together than the average married couple.

The time they spent together had not changed in duration, but it was different this time. For all of them. Virgil and Roman started sitting on one side of the table, Patton and Logan on the other. Patton and Logan were not ones for PDA – thankfully – but Virgil could always tell when they were holding hands under the table. Logan’s breathing would slow down to a calmer pace, whereas Patton’s cheeks and nose would become considerably redder.

Virgil didn’t want to say anything. Besides, the feeling of Roman’s finger making small circles along his knee was incredibly distracting – it was hard to speak at all. Despite everything which had happened, things were pretty normal between all of them. Not much had changed. They still met in the dining hall for their meals. They all went to the auditorium to support Roman with his new show. Patton and Virgil still talked for hours in their room.

Virgil and Roman hadn’t had much one-on-one time those past few days – but the weekend was approaching, and the weather looked promising. Perhaps they’d take a walk through the grounds? Or just stay inside and eat pizza? Or take a walk through the grounds eating pizza?

Virgil was hungry.

During his final Friday class, Virgil couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t quite right. Like an uncomfortable thought lingering above his head, shaking its head at the notion that everything was ‘ _okay_ ’. Virgil was used to this thought – it visited him often – however this time it was unclear what the thought actually had a problem with.

Then he realized… he still hadn’t spoken to Logan about what happened.

Logan played as big a part in this as the others. Yes, Virgil knew everything was fine – but did Logan? Did Logan know he was okay with his new relationship with Patton? Did Logan even know he and Roman were together? Virgil had asked Patton not to tell him yet… he wanted to wait for Logan to come to him first. However, this hadn’t happened.

Was Logan scared or something? Did he feel guilty?

Should Virgil make the first move?

Glancing at his teacher, who had decided to take a nap, Virgil slipped his phone from his bag and tapped out a quick text.

 **Virgil:** _Can we move our tutoring session to today?_

There was no response for several minutes, until…

 **Logan:** _Why?_

 **Virgil:** _We need to talk._

 **Logan:** _I suppose we do. Very well, meet me at the MP._

 **Virgil:** _Sure. See you then._

 

As soon as Virgil’s knuckles made contact with the door, Logan had called for him to enter. Mouth dry and fingers shaking, Virgil pushed open the door and gently closed it behind him.

Logan was, once again, sitting on the green couch. One of his legs was crossed over the other, his fingertips resting against his chin. He looked up thoughtfully as Virgil came in.

“There you are.” He gestured beside him.

Virgil took a seat, “Yeah… here I am.”

Neither spoke for a while.

“I suppose I should… go first.” Logan leaned forward, his fingers drumming against the coffee table, “Virgil. Once again, I feel I must apologise for kissing you on Tuesday.”

“Why again? You already apologised – I forgave you!”

“Yes. But now I have even more reasons to apologise. Please allow me to explain everything before you respond.”

Virgil sat back, “Okay.”

“Good.” Logan turned in his seat to face him. He pushed his glasses further up his nose, visibly nervous, “Virgil… I am sorry for what I did. I am sorry for kissing you, and I am sorry for asking you to meet me in the manner I chose. I will admit that… I was wrong. I was wrong about my feelings towards you. I made a mistake. But please believe me, I would not have put this on your shoulders if I did not genuinely believe these… feelings were real. Well, as it turns out… they were real… they just weren’t for you.”

Virgil smirked a little, “They were for Patton.”

Was Logan blushing? “Yes.”

“So… how the hell did you get _that_ confused?”

“Well…” Logan sighed, “I suppose there is much to tell you. Virgil… how much do you know of Deceit and Patton’s past?”

Virgil winced, “A lot.”

Logan raised a brow, “He told you?”

“Yeah, shortly after I slapped Deceit in the face.”

Logan blinked, “… Very good. Well, yes… but there are parts to that story that the others do not know – not even Patton. Not yet… I will tell him in time.”

“… What happened?”

“Patton came to this academy in his Freshman year. He was my roommate. We became friends. The next year – last year – he was Roman’s roommate. It wasn’t long before Deceit introduced himself… well, I won’t go too deeply into the specifics. I’m sure you’re familiar with them. Patton was unable to spend as much time with us... I sensed something was up and I… may have confronted Deceit.”

“You did what?”

“I confronted Deceit. I informed him that I did not like the way he treated Patton, and that if Patton wished to spend time with us… he should not stand in the way. This is when…” Logan coughed softly, “… Deceit began to accuse me of wanting him for myself. I told him this was ludicrous. He told me… he told me Patton was in love with me.”

Virgil looked away, “… Huh.”

“He said that Patton was clearly in love with me, and that I needed to stay away from him. He said that I would break Patton’s heart. He said that any relationships we had would be… disastrous. That I should stay away from Patton, for his own good. However, I knew Deceit by this point… I knew he was a liar. I told myself that Patton did not have these feelings for me… I told myself that there was no way Patton could have these feelings for me. I… I told myself that it would be impossible for me to return these feelings, regardless.

After Patton and Deceit broke up there were things I began to notice. I noticed Patton looking at me when he thought I couldn’t see him… the things he would say to me which he wouldn’t say about others. There is much I do not understand about… all of that. Whenever I noticed these things I would remember Deceit’s words. Remember that he was a liar. I refused to let myself believe for even a second that Patton felt that way.”

Logan took off his glasses, cleaned them on his shirt, and stared up at the ceiling, “Besides,” he continued, “Patton and I are very different people. The sheer concept of a relationship between us made no sense – it defied logic. People like Patton did not… belong with people such as myself. Our personalities conflicted. This is what I told myself… over and over again.

I refused to listen to Deceit and continued to push against him. He warned me to stay away one last time. I didn’t.” he slid his glasses back onto his face, “… This is when fifteen answer sheets were found inside my locker.”

Virgil sat up, “Deceit tried to frame you for cheating?!”

“Tried and succeeded. The answer sheets were for our end of year math tests.” Logan wet his lips, “Have you ever wondered why you and I were in the same class?”

“Oh… my… god…”

“Yes. Of course, most of the faculty knew this must have been planted there by another student. I think they’d suspected who the culprit was but, well, none could exactly say anything. I managed to avoid being expelled, but as punishment… I was moved down two classes in maths.” Logan began glaring down at the coffee table, “Patton and Deceit stopped seeing each other around two weeks later, but the damage was already done. Nobody knew what had happened except myself, the faculty, and Deceit. I told the others that… I had volunteered to be moved so I could assist the teacher for extra credit. None of them questioned it.”

“Jesus…” Virgil breathed, “I can’t believe he did that. Well, I can… but Jesus…”

“Despite the faculty knowing the truth, there was nothing they could do. So…” he gestured a hand around the room, “… I was given the key to this room. A place I could study further… in the hopes that, by senior year, I will be able to return to my original class. As of right now, my current performance will never be enough to earn back my place, despite how much more advanced it is than other students. I need to be better than the best to undo the damage Deceit has done.”

Virgil looked at him. Logan’s hands were clenched against the couch, his knuckles whitening.

“I’m… sorry.”

The corner of Logan’s mouth twitched, “It’s alright. He won’t beat me. If anything… he has pushed me to be smarter. To be better. I wish to attend Columbia after I graduate, and they will only take the very best. If that’s what I need to be – I suppose I should thank him.”

“Columbia? In New York?”

Logan nodded, gesturing to his bookshelf, “Alexander Hamilton attended Columbia. As did Obama. It is… my dream.”

“Huh…” Virgil smiled, “that’s a good dream.”

“Thank you.” Logan sighed, “So… that’s the truth. I suppose that, despite everything, I allowed Deceit to fool me long after we thought he was out of our lives. Perhaps he knew I would never believe what he said… perhaps he knew that no matter what I did he would get what he wanted. He tricked me.”

“… So, you **did** love Patton, you just didn’t know it?”

“Somewhat. I believe I always knew, I just did not want to accept it. I suppose I was under the impression I had feelings for you because… I see myself in you, Virgil.”

Virgil spluttered, “How?!”

“We are quite similar, you must have noticed.” Logan rubbed his chin, “The way we see the world, for example. It is very comforting to be in your presence, for… it is unchallenging. It’s simple. We are different people, of course, but there is much about you which I recognise in myself. But then I read your poetry and… things stopped being so simple. I was forced to challenge how I perceive certain things… and I am not easily challenged. Sometimes… things which do not make sense are not always bad. Patton and I… we are a lot like your poetry. It doesn’t make sense…”

Virgil smiled, “… But that’s what makes it great.”

Logan hummed, “Yes. When Patton told me his true feelings… the confusion and the denial crumbled away. I stopped pretending. I realized where my feelings lay, and for the first time this did not scare me. I’ll admit… I was angry when I saw you and Roman kiss. But not for the reasons I once thought. I suppose watching someone you see so much of yourself in… doing something you were never able to do yourself… it was unpleasant. This is why I kissed you, also.”

“… How did you feel after?”

“It was interesting. The feeling of another’s mouth on your own is very intimate and… not something I have ever experienced before. However… I was still confused. Something was missing, like… an equation without an answer. An unfinished sentence. A song with no melody. But then…” his eyes glossed over, “when I kissed Patton… I realized. I understood why people want to kiss each other – frankly, I always thought it to be a ridiculous action, serving only to spread germs. There are many people who never wish to kiss others, I suppose I thought I was one of them. But I was wrong – people are not asexual or aromantic because they don’t understand things like this – often they understand it perfectly, they simply do not want or desire it. I saw it as the easy alternative… this was wrong of me.”

Virgil thought back to his earlier perceptions of Logan, “I… think I jumped to that conclusion about you, too.”

“That’s alright.” Logan leaned back, pressing his fingertips together, “Virgil. You are an incredibly important person to me. I do not wish to lose our friendship.”

“Me neither.” Virgil shrugged, “But it’s fine. I kinda… realized you didn’t like me in that way before you did. I didn’t know why, I just… I just knew. But I felt the same way.”

Logan’s eyebrows flickered up, “Is that so?”

“Yeah.” Virgil laughed, “I was going to come and tell you that, but Patton was there already. So I left.”

“Oh.” Logan nodded thoughtfully, “Well… I suppose this was the best outcome we could have hoped for. Where did you go?”

Virgil smirked, “I went to Roman… yeah, he sorta… asked me to meet him too.”

Logan blinked, “… Where? When?”

“The eastern courtyard. At midnight.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah. I… th-the way you feel about Patton… that’s how I feel about Roman. Maybe it doesn’t make sense… but it does? You know?”

“And does Roman..?”

“Yep.”

Logan actually smiled, “Really? That’s wonderful.”

“It really is.”

“I’m happy for you. I… I deeply value our friendship, Virgil. I hope this misunderstanding will not come between it.”

“Nah… you’re not getting away from me that easily.”

“Glad to hear it…”


	26. Spooky Scary

“You’ve really never watched this?!”

“No… why, is it any good?”

Roman made an offended sound of bewilderment, “It’s only one of the best animated films of all time!”

Virgil and Roman had been seeing each other for around two months now, and things were going as well as they could. Their plan to take things slow was working; they hung out alone on Saturdays, keeping their relationship within the group, and refused to put a label on what they had. The time they spent together was kept as casual as it could be – they’d watch movies, take trips into town, go on walks, or simply lie on the grass and talk. Of course, there was a lot of making out… but that’s as far as they went.

However, as time went on… keeping things at first base was becoming more and more of a challenge. One time Roman had traced a finger along Virgil’s exposed collarbone, leaving the other unable to speak for a solid five minutes. They were interrupted by an oblivious teacher before things could go much further – thankfully, the teacher didn’t notice anything was going on in the first place.

On this particular Saturday the heavens had well and truly opened – most of campus was drenched under a few inches of water. It had been like this all week; thunderclaps and bolts of lightning made sleep almost impossible for Virgil, even though the sound of rain usually calmed him down. Not wishing to catch a cold (or drown) the boys decided to spend the day watching films…

… in Virgil’s room.

“I don’t really watch cartoons and stuff,” Virgil shrugged, hugging his knees to his chest. They were sitting together on his bed, Roman opening his sticker-adorned laptop, “it’s not a musical, is it?”

“Oh, that it is, my dear!” Roman grinned, “Besides, you said you liked Moana! And Tangled!”

“They were alright, I guess…” Virgil blushed. The truth was he only watched those films because Roman liked them. He wasn’t the biggest fan of Disney, or anything animated/musical, but Roman had taken the time to listen to his favourite bands… so Virgil wanted to return the favour. Besides, the way Roman sung along to the songs and copied the choreography was pretty adorable. His eyes lit up whenever the characters on screen fell in love… Virgil spent most of the time watching him instead of the movie.

“But I do really think you’ll like this one,” Roman continued, placing a disc into the drive, “I was listening to the soundtrack on Monday and it made me think of you. It’s dark and spooky and totally your aesthetic!”

Virgil pouted thoughtfully, “… I am dark and spooky.”

“Yes, you are.” Roman leaned over and kissed his cheek, “You’re one creepy cookie.”

“… The ones decorated to look like bats or… like, dead people?”

“The ones so spooky people are scared to eat them!”

Virgil smirked, “Hell yeah.”

“Now,” Roman set up the movie-player on his laptop, “Despite what you’ve probably heard, this is **not** actually a Tim Burton movie. It was directed by Henry Selick, the screenplay was by Caroline Thompson, and the music was by the incomparable Danny Elfman!”

“… So, why does it say _Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas?_ ”

“He created the characters or something. Now!” Roman hovered the mouse over the play button, “Are you ready to forget everything you once knew about stop-motion animation?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

“That’s the spirit!”

He pressed play. Roman shuffled up to Virgil’s side, placing an arm over his shoulder. Virgil leaned back against the pillows and nuzzled his head against Roman’s neck, who pecked his forehead with a quick kiss. The film opened with a rotating shot of some trees, each advertising a different holiday. He saw Christmas, Easter, and…

“St Patrick’s day?”

“Yeah,” Roman whispered, “each door opens to a town where holidays are made.”

“… What the hell happens in St Patrick’s Day town?”

“Shh, it’s starting!”

The door to Halloween town swung open, and the music began to pick up. The camera panned by a pretty creepy looking scarecrow with a pumpkin head… the way it spun in the wind looked so real. Was this seriously stop motion animation?

 _Boys and girls of every age_  
_Wouldn't you like to see something strange?_  
 _Come with us and you will see_  
 _This, our town of Halloween_

Shadows of monsters loomed over gravestones, ghosts sung mournfully as jack-o-lanterns were impaled on fences, and genuinely horrifying-looking creatures climbed from beneath beds and staircases. Virgil had never seen a movie quite like it – even the music was enthralling.

_In this town, don't we love it now?  
Everybody's waiting for the next surprise_

“… Is that a two-faced politician?”

“Yup.”

“Nice.”

It seemed like the kind of movie which would give children nightmares. It was creepy and unsettling, but in a charming way.

_In this town we call home  
Everyone hail to the pumpkin song_

The scarecrow was back, being pulled through the crowds of monsters on the back of a wooden horse. Suddenly, the scarecrow was on fire – twirling and dancing effortlessly as its clothes began to disintegrate. It leapt into the air and dove into a disgusting well of glowing green water.

The townsfolk and Virgil watched with bated breath as the creature rose from the water – a skeleton with a wide, charismatic grin, tall and thin, dressed head to toe in a pinstriped suit. He waved to the cheering crowd.

“… Wow.”

Roman nudged their cheeks together, “You enjoying it?”

“… Is it weird that I think the skeleton is kinda hot?”

“I’d be surprised if you didn’t.”

 

The credits began to roll.

“… Alright, that was pretty good.”

Roman smiled triumphantly, “Told you.”

“I mean… some of the dialogue was a little on the nose. But… yeah, I really liked it?”

“I watch it every Christmas and every Halloween. It’s a little tradition of mine.”

Virgil grinned, nuzzling his body against the other, “Sounds like a good tradition.”

Roman’s fingers were gliding up and down Virgil’s arm as he spoke, “There’s other films like this I think you’d like. Coroline, The Corpse Bride… aah!” he shivered in excitement, “I can’t wait to show them to you!”

Virgil laughed, “… I love when you get like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like…” Virgil shrugged, “all excited and giddy about stuff. You’ve just got so much passion for these kind of films… they really mean a lot to you. Plus, you get this big smile and… it’s… adorable.”

“Aw, you think I’m adorable?”

“Hush.”

“Noooo…” Roman started tickling him, “you think I’m adorable, say it!”

“Never!”

“Saaaay it!”

“Aah, fine!” Virgil held up his hands in surrender, “You’re adorable…”

Roman stopped, “I am, aren’t I?”

“Ass.”

“I know, it’s great, isn’t it? Thanks for noticing!”

“I could totally kick your ass…”

Roman wrapped his arms around Virgil’s waist, “Of course you could. You’re scrappy.”

“Fear me!”

“Oh, I’m very afraid…” Roman pulled him closer, “you’re so scary. Very scary…” he leaned up and began kissing Virgil’s neck, “… can’t you see how frightened I am?”

_Oh, god. Not the neck._

Virgil bit down on his lower lip to stop himself making any embarrassing noises, “… I h-hate you.”

“Nah.” Roman pulled away, brushing a hand against Virgil’s cheek, “I don’t believe you- oh.” He pulled back his hands, looking down at his fingers – the tips of which were suddenly tinted black. “Oh, shoot.”

“Did you just smudge my eyeshadow?”

“… Sorry! It still looks fine, very spooky. Hey,” Roman brushed his fingertips against his eyelid, smudging the shadow against his skin, “… how do I look?”

“Like the worst emo ever.”

Roman pouted, “But it looks so good on you! Don’t you think I’d look good with a little makeup?”

“Maybe…” Virgil got a wicked idea, “… wanna try some?”

“Absolutely!!”

 

“… and… done!”

He handed Roman a mirror.

“Woah!”

Virgil had painted some sharp wings with an eyeliner pen and dusted his lids with a deep red shadow. He even added a little yellow below his brows, which were darkened with brown pencil. Beside one eye he’d drawn a tiny bat, and by the other he’d drawn a little jack-o-lantern.

He was pretty proud of his work.

“I look… amazing!” Roman stared into the mirror in awe, “You are so freaking good at this! Oh, my gosh… you should do this for a living!”

Virgil shuffled awkwardly, not used to compliments, “… Maybe. I’m more used to doing it on myself, but… well, stuff like this I just do for fun. I never go out in it. Just a little eyeshadow is enough for me.”

Roman was still admiring his reflection, “This is truly art. You’ve made me even more handsome!”

Virgil gave him a little shove, “Alright, narcissus.” He grinned, “You look good, okay?”

“Oh, more than okay. Wow… I truly have the most talented boyfriend in the whole country.”

Virgil spluttered, his heart skipping a beat, “… Buh-boyfriend?”

Roman went still, letting the mirror drop onto the bed, “… Um…” he laughed, “we… I mean… if you w-wanted to be…”

“O-oh, I-I do! I just… th-thought you wanted to… like… take it slow?”

Roman smiled, “I’ve been wanting to call you my boyfriend since that day we played piano together… what can I say, I’m the master of the slow play.”

Virgil snickered, “Dork.”

“Yeah, but what does that make you?”

“… The boyfriend of a dork.”

Roman’s eyes lit up, “I’m one lucky dork.”

Virgil tugged him back onto the bed, taking his face in his hands and kissing him, deeply. Roman rolled on top of him, running his fingers through the others hair. His fingers became tangled. They both laughed against each other’s lips.

Collapsing next to each other, Roman pulled Virgil against his chest, who sighed deeply as he listened to the other’s heartbeat.

“… I love you.”

Virgil blinked, “… Heh?”

“I love you, Virgil.”

“Wait, like… like really?”

“Like really really.”

Virgil closed his eyes.

“… I… I love you too, Roman.”

Roman made a ‘phew’ sound with his lips, “Thank goodness for that…”


	27. Prom Night

The final term of the year had arrived… and that could only mean one thing.

_Prom._

The time of year where Sanders Academy and their sister all-girls school joined together for an evening of awkward slow dances, sugary punch, and probably some fights breaking out. Despite all that business with Roman’s play – the school’s policy on prom dates was incredibly lenient. You could bring whoever you wanted, as long as they attended one of the two schools.

Notes were being slipped in lockers, students were bending on one knee with bushels of roses in their arms – there was even a flash mob or two in the dining hall.

But now prom was a week away – those without dates were either making plans with friends or starting to get desperate. The only ones who weren’t up in arms about the whole ordeal were the couples. Whoever you’re dating during prom is automatically your date for the evening, relieving any pressure of facing that dreaded _no._

Logan and Patton had become much more open about their relationship… as it turns out, Patton’s feelings towards Logan surprised almost nobody. A few eyebrows were raised when word spread about Logan sharing these feelings, but the shock was gotten over pretty quickly.

Attending prom with a special someone was a guaranteed way to let the whole school know who you liked and who you were dating… so naturally, Virgil was freaking out.

On one hand – the idea of everyone’s eyes on him, whispering about him, shocked stares and dropped jaws at the sight of the weird emo kid slow dancing with the hot, popular theatre kid was enough to make Virgil consider dropping out of school completely.

On the other hand… the idea of not attending prom with Roman was somehow worse.

He did want to. He wanted to be like the other students – he wanted to dance with his date, drink watery punch, laugh, and have an evening he’d always remember. Despite how corny, manufactured, and clichéd it was… Virgil wanted that experience. He wanted to let go of his fears, but his fears didn’t want to let go of him.

He couldn’t decide which filled him with more dread – Roman asking him to be his date, or the fact that he _still_ hadn’t asked him. What was up with that? Roman was literally the most romantic person on the planet – he adored things like this… was something holding him back?

Maybe Roman was waiting for Virgil to ask _him… oh, crap._

If Virgil wanted to go to prom with his actual honest to god real life genuine boyfriend – he was going to have to ask Roman himself. He was going to have to shake off his anxieties, even if they clung like spiderwebs, open his mouth and _ask him._

It couldn’t be that hard, right?

Right?!

_Crap…_

 

Roman, unsurprisingly, was in the auditorium, trying out some melodies on the piano. He smiled as he saw him.

“Virgil! He cried, waving him over, “I didn’t expect to see you here. How are you?”

Virgil tried to smile, though his chest felt like it would explode any second. He walked towards him, trying to look _calm_ and _casual,_ “I’m good. Just… figured you’d be here. Uh… what are you working on?”

Roman shrugged towards the piano, “I’m not really sure. It’s either a song or… a new melody for car alarms…”

Vigil smirked, “Well, maybe you should write a musical about cars. Pixar would totally buy the rights to it.”

“Well, I’m not a sell-out just yet.” Roman patted the space next to him on the bench, “when I am…” he continued as Virgil sat down, “what would you like me to buy you?”

“Ooh…” Virgil rubbed his chin in thought, “well, a pony is obviously the first thing I’d want. Then some sparkling diamonds… anything the Kardashians have ever touched, and… make that two ponies, actually.”

Roman shook his head in amusement, “You jest, but once I’m rich and famous… you’re gonna have more ponies than you know what to do with.”

“I will train them to be my army of darkness.”

“Oh, no… what have I done?!”

“I’m gonna destroy the world… with ponies!”

“I’ve created a monster!”

“I missed you today.”

Roman leaned over and pecked his cheek, “I missed you too. I hate not getting to see you at lunch and breakfast… huh… do we spend too much time together?”

“Probably.” Virgil shrugged, “I don’t know about you, but… you guys are kinda my only friends.”

“Well, who needs anyone else when you have the best, huh?” Roman winked.

“Whatever.” Virgil smirked, “Eh, I probably, like… should try to make some other friends? Like, before I graduate?”

“You could try joining a club? Logan’s in most of them, so you’ll already have one friend there.” Roman suggested, “But, I think that’s a good idea. I don’t like the idea of you being all mopey, waiting around for me to come sweep you off your feet again. Plus, you’ll need someone to talk to about how handsome and wonderful I am.”

“You mean someone to complain about you to?”

“… About how handsome and wonderful I am?”

“Sure.” Virgil played with a few of the keys. A memory began to play in his mind… he saw himself, sitting in this exact spot. He saw Roman guiding his fingers along the keys, singing so beautifully. The moment when everything changed.

_Well… now was as good a time as ever._

“Uh… Roman?”

“Yes?”

“You know that… uuh… prom, thing?”

“I know of it, yes.”

“Cool.” Virgil took a deep breath, “Um… well… you see, uh… you know?”

“Are you asking me to go to prom with you?”

“… Maybe.”

Roman smiled, though there was confusion in his eyes, “Wow. I thought you were never going to ask!”

Virgil blinked, “… I-I figured… you’d probably ask me. You know, you love all this romantic garbage.”

“True, you cannot spell Romance without Roman. But…” he laughed, “well, I know how anxious you are about being out. I completely understand, and I worried that… if I asked you I’d put pressure on you to _be out._ I figured… if you wanted to go with me, I’d wait for you to ask.”

“What would you have done if I hadn’t asked?”

Roman shrugged, “It would not have been the end of the world. I’d have been sad, of course, but whether I’d attend as your friend or your date… I’d have been happy to spend the evening with you.”

“Roman…”

“And maybe touch your butt when nobody was looking.”

 “… I love you.”

“Love you too… prom date?”

Virgil sighed, happily, “… Do I have to wear a suit?”

“There’s a dress code, yeah.”

“Crap.”

 

Soon enough the big day had arrived.

**6:45pm – Friday.**

Only fifteen minutes left till the doors opened.

Virgil had fashioned together something resembling a suit. He wore a black button up with a matching black tie, and his one pair of black jeans without rips in the knees. He even borrowed a pair of Patton’s shoes. He stared at himself in the mirror.

“I look like I’m in a bad emo band.”

“You look great!” Patton was grinning from his bed, “Very handsome!”

“… You sure it’s not too much black?”

Patton thought, “… Maybe try the purple tie?”

Virgil pulled off the black piece of fabric around his neck, substituting it for a dark purple one, “… Huh. Yeah, I guess this one’s better.”

“Perfect!” Patton hurried over, undoing the tie, “Let me just…” he showed him how to tie it properly, “… there! Even more perfect!”

Virgil rolled his eyes, “You’re such a dad-friend.”

“Well, that means I can ground you.” Patton smiled, patting his shoulder, “You excited? Nervous?”

“Yes.”

Patton was wearing a white shirt, deep blue tie and matching blazer, with a smart pair of dark brown trousers. He’d even combed his hair. He was clearly more on the excited side of the spectrum.

“It’s going to be great! Ooh, what do you think the punch will be like?”

“Like watery cool-aid.”

There was a knock at the door.

Their eyes met.

“Oh, god.” Virgil’s heart started racing, “… I’m going to throw up.”

“You’ll be fine.” Patton whispered, hurrying over to throw open the door.

Logan entered first. He was dressed in his signature black button up, his tie the same shade as Patton’s. His blazer, trousers, and shoes were all black – suddenly, Virgil didn’t feel so alone.

He was holding a bouquet of lilies.

Patton’s face lit up, “Oh! My favourite!”

Logan smiled, “Yes, I thought you might like them. I did worry they may be a bit much…”

“No, no, they’re lovely!” Patton took the flowers and inhaled deeply, “They smell wonderful! Thank you!”

Logan’s cheeks went pink, “Well… you’re welcome.”

Roman came in next… Virgil’s mouth went dry.

His shirt was crisp and white – a gold clip was fastened to his crimson tie. Over his arm was a silvery-grey jacket, which seemed to be hiding something within his hands. His hair was perfect. His jawline was perfect. _He_ was perfect.

Virgil wanted to run over and kiss him, but they had company…

Roman flashed him a smile, walking a little nervously towards him, “Virgil… wow. You look incredible.”

Virgil felt his face burning up, “… Shut up. You look better.”

“Only because I’m stood with you.”

Patton _aww’ed_ from across the room.

Virgil shot him a glare.

“I know that…” Roman smiled, “you aren’t the biggest fan of flowers. However, I thought you might like this.” He revealed what was hidden beneath the jacket. It was a tiny black box. Virgil took it gingerly in his hands.

“Roman… I… I didn’t get you anything, dammit…”

“You’ve given me more than enough. But… you can owe me some pizza, or something. Open it.”

Virgil flipped open the box.

Inside was a small band. Upon closer inspection, Virgil saw it was a tiny black rose, the stem curled round into the shape of a ring.

“Oh… my, god…” Virgil held the ring between his fingers, “this is… I-I love it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah!” Virgil slid it on, then paused, “… Did you just propose to me?”

Roman chuckled, “Not yet. Come on,” he held out his arm, “shall we?”

Virgil slid his arm around Roman’s, “Lets.”

 

The sports hall was looking uncharacteristically elegant that evening. Tables adorned with black velvet table cloths were decorated with candles and (probably fake) rose petals. Purple drapes hung from the walls, and a huge disco ball spun slowly in the middle of the room. Already it was packed with chattering friends and dancing couples of all genders.

It was a little hard to see in the dark, but Virgil could feel Roman stood by his side. He wanted to reach out and grab his hand… but something was stopping him. He wanted to so badly. Why was he like this?

“Well,” Roman turned to Logan, “why don’t we grab the punch while you guys find a table?”

Logan nodded, “This sounds like a good plan.”

Their dates headed off while Virgil and Patton located an empty table. Patton slid a backpack underneath it.

Virgil looked at him, “… What’s with the bag?”

“Oh, I brought snacks!”

Virgil laughed, “You brought snacks to prom?”

“Yeah, there’s never any food at these things.”

“You’re the best.”

Soon, Logan and Roman found them again, each carrying two plastic cups of pink liquid.

Virgil took a sip from his, “… Wow, that’s a lot of sugar.”

Logan drank some and winced, “Y-yes,” he coughed, “that is an obscene amount.”

“I brought some soda!” Patton reached into his bag and pulled out a two-litre bottle of lemonade.

Logan raised his brows, “How many things do you have in there?”

“Like… a lot!”

Logan shook his head, “… I love you.”

“Love you too!!”

They started kissing.

“Ugh,” Virgil rolled his eyes, “you guys are disgusting.”

They ignored him.

Virgil turned to Roman, “They’re going to be like this all night, aren’t they?”

“Looks that way.” Roman slowly reached over… and placed a hand on top of Virgil’s. He noticed Virgil tense up, “I-is this okay? You can tell me to stop.”

Virgil shook his head, “N-no… no, I… I like it. I do, really. I’m just…” he laughed, “I’ve never really done anything like this before. I’m pretty nervous.”

“We can go at whatever pace you’re comfortable with.” Roman smiled, absentmindedly stroking his thumb, “Just remember – you can always tell me to stop. I promise I will never get upset or cross with you for it.”

Virgil felt his pace begin to slow down, “… Alright.” He took a deep breath, “Well… I like this. This is really nice.”

“I’m glad.”

 

The night went on – more and more students started pouring into the hall. Soon enough, there was so many students that nobody would even be able to see Virgil and Roman, sitting together. Feeling a little more comfortable, Virgil inched his chair closer to the other, clasping his hand tightly under the table.

Now, Virgil hated parties. The idea of any big social gathering was enough to make him run away and hide under the covers. Yet, somehow… Roman was enough to make him want to stay. Plus, watching Patton teaching Logan to slow dance was very entertaining. God – Virgil wanted to dance with Roman. He willed for a fire drill, anything to empty the hall completely… so he could pull Roman to his feet and hold him close, swaying to the crappy music.  

He hated how much he allowed himself to be influenced by the opinions of others. He wanted to be brave – as brave as Roman thought he was. He hated how much he let it hold him back. He knew Roman understood, but… he couldn’t help but feel he was holding _him_ back too.

“… Roman?”

“Mhm?”

“… I, um… I’m not holding you back, am I?”

Roman’s lips parted, “Virgil…”

“Like… if you wanted to find someone to dance with… I-I’d be okay with that. J-just, like… no grinding or anything.”

Roman laughed, “Virgil… trust me. Sitting with you is way more fun than dancing with anyone else would be.”

“But… don’t you want to dance?”

Roman shrugged, “A little. Maybe if they played some better music.”

Virgil sighed, “Thank you! It’s so bad!”

“But I don’t want to dance unless it’s with you. And I don’t want to dance with you unless you’re comfortable with it. Besides…” he looked down at his feet, “these shoes are more for style than practicality.”

“They are pretty stylish…”

“What can I say? I dress to impress.”

Virgil smiled, “Aw, you wanted to impress me.”

“Well, it worked, didn’t it?”

“Yeah…” Virgil paused, then leaned forward to plant a quick kiss on Roman’s lips. He fell back into his chair, feeling a little light headed, “… I did it.”

Roman’s eyes were sparkling, “I’m proud of you.”

“Well, the world hasn’t fallen out from under me… I guess kissing my boyfriend in public isn’t so bad, huh?”

“Only one way to find out for sure.” Roman winked.

Virgil went to lean in again, but Patton and Logan had returned to the table.

“Hey, you two!” Cried Patton, jumping into his seat, “I’m hungry. Anybody in the mood for a granola bar?”

Virgil pressed his lips together, “… That actually sounds pretty good.”

Patton handed each of them a bar, filling up their cups with lemonade.

Roman laughed, “It’s like we’re having a picnic at prom.”

Patton grinned, “We could call it a prom-nic. Or a… pic-om? No, prom-nic was better.”

Logan held up his cup, “To the world’s first prom-nic.”

They all tapped their cups together, “To the prom-nic!”

“ _Well, isn’t this cosy?_ ”

Virgil’s blood turned to ice in his veins. Gripping Roman’s hand tighter, he turned around to see none other than Deceit, looking very pleased with himself about something. He was dressed as he always was, complete with that _stupid_ hat.

He felt Roman shake a little beside him.

“Oh, look.” Roman glared, “ _Snake Lively_ has decided to grace us with his presence.”

“I suppose I didn’t make myself clear last.” Logan’s arm had appeared around a wide-eyed Patton’s shoulders, “Please, do not embarrass yourself any further.”

Virgil smirked, “Guess he couldn’t find himself a date so he’s bothering all the couples…”

Deceit turned on him, “Oh? You’re a _couple_ now, are you? I guess you got bored of kissing other people’s boyfriends?”

Logan looked dangerously cool, “I think he’s jealous of you, Roman.”

Roman smirked, “He always was.”

Deceit pulled out a chair and sat himself down, “Oh?” he laughed at their expressions, “Jealous of you? What am I most jealous of? Your failed productions? Your dead mother?”

Roman went completely still, “… How about my perfect vision?”

Deceit’s yellow eye twitched, “Sight joke. Nice. Always funny. Virgil – has your boyfriend told you he’s the reason I wear this contact?”

“Yep.” Virgil smiled at the look of disappointment on Deceit’s face, “He told me everything. Nice tattoo.”

“… He’s lucky he’s not serving jail time.”

“Oh,” Roman leaned forward, “We both know who should really be serving jail time…”

Silence fell.

“… Well, this was such a pleasure.” Deceit rose, “Sorry I can’t stay, but I have better things to attend to. Enjoy your prom… while you can.” He kicked back the chair and walked away, sliding effortlessly through the sea of students.

Patton breathed a sigh, “I knew he’d show up…”

“Hey…” Logan kissed his forehead, “He’s gone now. Let’s not let him spoil our evening.”

Virgil nodded, “Yeah. We’ve got granola bars!”

Patton managed a smile, “… I’ve got ones with chocolate chips for later.”

“Nice.”

Suddenly, the music stopped. The lights went up – Virgil winced and covered his eyes, “What the f-”

“ _Attention!_ ”

Everyone turned towards the stage. It was Logan and Virgil’s math teacher, yelling into a microphone, utterly red in the face.

“I have just received word that somebody… one of you little _shits_ – sorry, headmaster – decided they would spike the punch bowl!”

Virgil’s heart stopped.

_Deceit… great._

_He’d ruined the prom for everyone._

“Now, get on the dance floor! All of you! Turn out your pockets! Open your bags! Everyone is getting searched!”

Virgil and the others stood up, Patton clutching his bag to his chest. His face went white.

“H-hang on…” he reached inside, “s-something doesn’t… oh… no…”

“What’s the matter?”

Patton looked at Virgil.

He looked close to tears.

“Th-there’s…” his voice dropped to a whisper, “ _… there’s an empty vodka bottle in my bag._ ”

“What?! Why did you bring that?!”

“I-I didn’t!!”

Logan’s eyes were ablaze, “… Deceit…”

Virgil swore. Of course. That’s why he sat down next to him… Patton would definitely be expelled for this. They all would!

“What do we do?” Virgil hissed. “We can’t just put it in the trash bags, they’ll see us!”

Logan’s eyebrows were furrowed in thought, “… Run.”

“Huh?”

“ ** _Fucking run._** ”

There were so many students hurrying towards the stage it was easy to blend in with them. The doors were so close… almost there…

Patton went first, followed by Logan.

Roman and Virgil were closely behind them.

 

They ran.

Virgil had never run this fast or this long in his life. The night was dark and humid, soon they were all sweating beneath their jackets. He reached for Roman’s hand, who pulled him faster. The sports hall grew smaller and smaller behind them, until…

… they collapsed behind a pillar in the eastern courtyard.

Patton and Virgil could barely breathe.

Logan reached over and grabbed Patton’s bag, fishing out the empty bottle. It was small, but enough to spike a punch bowl. He glanced around, before running towards a nearby trashcan. He threw the bottle inside so hard Virgil heard it smash.

He turned back.

“Follow me.”

 

Twenty minutes later, they were all sat inside Logan’s mind palace. Logan and Patton were sat on the couch, their arms around each other. Roman was pacing up and down. Virgil leaned against the wall.

Neither of them could quite relax just yet.

“Bastard… bastard… bastard…” Roman was muttering, tangling his fingers in his hair, “… I can’t believe he- no, I can believe… ugh.”

“It’s fine, Roman.” Said Logan, calmly. “Everything is alright now. Whatever he was planning… it did not work. We’re fine.”

“This is my fault…”

Virgil shook his head, “Roman… you know why he did this. It’s because I hit him.”

“No.” Roman groaned, “If I hadn’t… if I hadn’t…”

Virgil sighed, “You can’t blame yourself for this.”

Logan cleared his throat, “Roman… I understand this may be the wrong time to ask, but it may be important. What did Deceit mean when he said… what he said about his contact?”

Roman stopped pacing. He looked to Virgil.

Virgil nodded, “Tell them. They’ll understand.”

Roman took a deep breath in… then out. “… Deceit and I knew each other as children, as you are both aware. However, there is something I have kept from you both. It is something I carry in great shame, and… I wanted to pretend it never happened. But, no. This was wrong of me to do. Please… forgive me for not telling you sooner.”

Logan was watching him, “You can tell us now. It’s alright.”

Roman sighed, “Okay… well. It happened when we were eight years old…”

He proceeded to tell them the story. The whole story. The museum. The acid. The hospital.

_Everything._

Logan listened quietly, except to ask the occasional question. His expression calm but intrigued. Patton’s eyes were wide and tearful.

“… There. That’s the truth.” Roman finished, “Everything that’s happened… what happened to Patton… it all happened because I almost blinded Deceit with a vial of acid. He wanted revenge. I… I am truly sorry for everything which has happened to you… to all of you, because of this.”

Patton sniffed, “He… he wanted to hurt you? B-by using me?”

Roman nodded mournfully, “… I’m sorry, Patton. I’m sorry…”

Patton stood up, slowly. Logan watched him carefully, but let him go. Patton crossed the room… and threw his arms around Roman’s waist. Roman blinked. Patton began to cry.

“P-please, don’t be sorry…” he sobbed, “y-you’ve blamed yourself? All this time?”

“Patton…” Roman returned the hug, “… I… I suppose…”

“I already kn-knew…” Patton sniffed, “… I knew you guys had this big fight. I guess… part of me always suspected. B-but that’s not your fault! I-it’s his fault! If he doesn’t want to learn empathy, o-or forgiveness, or to take responsibility for his own actions… that’s on him! You shouldn’t have to suffer or f-feel guilty on his behalf!”

Roman was stunned.

They all were.

“… He’s right.” Logan nodded, standing up, “You acted impulsively, but you were a child. Truthfully, you probably made the right call at the time. But people like Deceit are not made from one simple action… they are created over time. The only person Deceit has to blame is himself.”

Roman let Patton go, who returned to Logan’s side, “… You guys…” he laughed, “… god. What did I do to deserve friends like you?”

“You are honest. You are true. You are brave.” Logan smiled, “You act selflessly, and you have compassion. These are traits Deceit will never have.”

Roman looked as if the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders, “… Thank you, Logan.”

“You are welcome.”

“… What is this place, anyway?”

“It’s his mind palace!” Patton chirped up, “He comes here to study and meditate and sometimes we come here and-”

Logan coughed, “Yes. It’s a long story… but I _will_ tell it. Another day. Anyway, prom should have settled down by now. Shall we return?”

“That sounds good.”

 

As they passed the eastern courtyard, Virgil felt someone grab his hand.

He came to a stop.

“You guys go on ahead,” Roman was smiling, “We’ll see you later.”

Logan looked between them, the corner of his mouth twitching up, “Very well. See you later.” He started to walk, stopped, and looked back, “… What you said about Deceit’s father? Is it true?”

“Yes.”

“You’re certain?”

“Yes.”

“Very well. Leave it with me.” He nodded, “Roman. Virgil. Have a good evening.”

As the others walked towards the sports hall, Virgil turned to Roman, “… What’s the matter?”

Roman smiled, “Absolutely nothing. I-I haven’t felt his wonderful in a long time! I feel… so free. No more secrets. No more hiding. Gosh… I wish I hadn’t kept this a secret for so long. Thank you.”

Virgil was confused, “Me? For what?”

“You were the first person I ever told. It… gave me the confidence to finally open up.”

Virgil smiled, “You already had the confidence. Just… maybe you needed a nudge to find it.”

“You can nudge me anytime.”

“Ugh, that sounded gross.”

Patton grimaced playfully, “You’re gross.” He pulled him closer.

“You’re grosser.”

“I love you. Even if you’re gross.”

“… I love you too, even if you got way grosser.”

“How gross?”

“Like… watching-Patton-and-Logan-kiss gross.”

Roman gasped, “Even then?”

“Yeah…”

Roman leaned up and kissed his nose, “Am I too gross to kiss, or..?”

Virgil smirked, “Not quite…”

“… How about a dance?”

Virgil glanced towards the sports hall, “Um…”

“Nah, not in there.” Roman shrugged, “I don’t want to deal with all those people tonight. Unless you want to..?”

Virgil shook his head, “No… but, w-we don’t have any music?”

Roman dug out his phone, “I’ll even let you pick the song.”

Virgil’s heart was pounding – but in a good way. A wonderful way.

“What about… the song we played together? I-I forgot its name.”

“I know what you mean.” Roman scrolled through his phone, pressed a button, and returned the phone to his jacket pocket. The music softly began to play. “Well… may I have this dance?”

Virgil smirked, “You may.”

Roman took Virgil gently by the waist, their hands clasped together. Virgil rested his free hand on Roman’s shoulder, smiling up at him. Roman led – slowly at first, but soon he started to twirl Virgil like a ballerina, who could only laugh in return.

No eyes on them.

No audience.

Nobody but the stars and moon above them.

Soon, Virgil’s cheek was pressed against Roman’s shoulder, who wrapped his arms around him. They swayed, softly.

It was perfect.

Virgil couldn’t stop smiling.

He didn’t want this night to end…

… maybe it didn’t have to.

He leaned up and kissed Roman, deeply and longingly. Roman melted against him.

As they broke apart, Virgil whispered softly in his ear, “… Could we go back to your room? For a little while?”

“… Sure.”

 

Roman’s room was a lot closer than Virgil’s.

Virgil knew for a fact Roman had no roommate this year.

_It would be empty._

Before Roman could unlock the door, he paused and looked back to Virgil, “… Listen…” he took the other’s hands, “… before this goes any further… I need you to promise me something?”

“Anything.”

“… Is this what you truly want? You don’t have to because it’s prom or… because I got you a present. Or even because you’re my boyfriend. Please… promise me that you really, truly want this?”

Virgil smiled, moving closer, “I promise. This is what I want. _You_ are what I want.”

Roman sighed happily, “… Come on in, then.”

He unlocked the door…

… then locked it behind them…


	28. Good Morning

The sunlight was warm and bright against Virgil’s cheek. Usually he’d groan and cover his face with a pillow in a desperate attempt to get back to sleep… but today it just felt relaxing. Summer was truly on its way.

Humming drowsily, Virgil turned onto his side – but his shoulder bumped against something laid next to him. Confused, he opened his eyes. A smile spread across his face as he remembered the night before. He remembered prom. He remembered dancing in the courtyard. He remembered Roman; how his eyes looked in the moonlight, how he smiled so wide and goofy after they kissed, how warm and firm his chest was…

The sleeping form beside him was starting to sir.

Roman opened his eyes, “Mm…” he smiled sleepily, “well… hello there.”

“Hey.” Virgil wriggled under the covers, leaning over Roman’s bare chest, who chuckled and wrapped his arms around him. He could hear the other’s heartbeat… he was warm.

“Did you sleep okay?” Roman asked softly, “You snore, you know?”

Virgil spluttered, “I do not!”

“You do. It’s really quiet and soft, like a cat purring.”

“Shut up.” Virgil tried not to laugh, “Maybe, like… a panther or something. Or a dragon.”

“I like it. It’s such a relaxing sound… helped me sleep.”

“… Really?”

“Yeah.” Roman tilted his head and kissed Virgil’s forehead, “I like sleeping next to you.”

Virgil smiled, “It was really nice…”

“You make a great little spoon. Especially when you wiggle your butt against me.”

“That wasn’t on purpose.” He lied. It totally was.

“Whatever.” Roman didn’t seem fooled. He ran his fingers up and down Virgil’s back, rousing a quiet moan from the other, “You have a good butt.”

“I do, don’t I?”

“It’s my favourite butt.” Roman hummed against his forehead, “Last night was amazing… god, _you’re_ amazing.”

Virgil blushed, “It was… pretty wild, huh?”

“Can we do it again, sometime?”

“Depends…” Virgil shrugged, “do you… have enough?”

Roman laughed, “My freaking father gives me a pack every year. I… don’t think he was intending me to use them quite like that.”

“Like how?”

“You know… with guys.”

“Ah.” Virgil shrugged, “Well… jokes on him?”

Roman nodded, chuckling, “Take that, old man.”

“Does he really have a problem with, like, gay people?”

“I don’t think so.” Roman sighed, sitting up slightly. He pulled Virgil up with him, who rested his head against the other’s shoulder, “He’s never expressed any negative views against our community. A lot of his business partners are queer too, I think. He just… I don’t know. He never really listens to me. He started working a lot harder after my mom died, going away on business trips a lot. I guess he’s just too busy…”

Virgil frowned, “Your dad sounds like a jerk.”

Roman smirked, “Yeah. I mean, he’s not too bad… good guy, lousy father.”

“He doesn’t deserve you.”

“… You’re sweet.” Roman started to play with Virgil’s hair, “You never really talk much about your family. You guys don’t get along, huh?”

“No…” Virgil sighed, “They mostly ignore me, too… which I kinda prefer. My dad wanted me to be like him – big and tough, drink whiskey and yell at his assistant for a living. He keeps trying but… I think he’s given up. As for my mom…” he pursed his lips, “she was right to get out when she did.”

“Your parents are divorced?”

“Yeah. She still comes over for Christmas… with her new husband.”

“Wow.” Roman exhaled, “No wonder you didn’t want to go back.”

“Eh, he’s alright.” Virgil grinned a little, “My mom doesn’t drink as much since she left my dad, but as soon as she steps back in the door for the holidays she starts up all over again. I don’t think she’s coming back next year. But Dave’s not too bad. He’s a busy guy, but he treats her well. I don’t think he’s thrilled that she’s got a teenage son, but he makes an effort with me. He paid for my tuition here.”

“Really?”

“Well, my dad didn’t want me to live with my mom and Dave. He thinks Dave’s soft, a bad influence. Doesn’t want his son ending up…” Virgil scowled, “well. They were fighting so much about it that Dave offered to pay for me to come here. My dad liked the idea of boarding school – he went to one, too. A very different one, obviously. So, here I am.”

Roman was holding him tighter, “Virgil… I’m so sorry. That sounds awful – **he** sounds awful.”

“It’s fine. Really.” Virgil gave a little smile, “I mean, I have to go stay with my dad over the summer… mom and Dave visit Dave’s parents in Spain then. I wouldn’t want to go with them – Dave’s still really awkward with me, and my mom’s always been insufferable. Hopefully my dad will just ignore me, like he usually does.”

Roman sighed, “I don’t like the idea of you going home to somewhere you’re miserable. Nobody deserves to feel that way about where they’re supposed to feel safest of all.”

“… This is where I feel safest of all.” Virgil made little circles on Roman’s chest with his fingers, “I don’t care about going back – that’s not my home. I mean… it never really was.”

“You’ve… never felt like you’ve had a home?”

“… I do now.”

Roman leaned down and planted a kiss on Virgil’s lips, “You’re incredible. After everything you’ve been through… you’re still so wonderful. I just wish you believed it about yourself.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know you make a lot of jokes about yourself, but… do you really believe those things?”

Virgil blinked, “Uh… well…” he sighed, “kind of? I get a lot of… bad thoughts, sometimes. Bad thoughts about myself and what I do. They aren’t as bad anymore. I’m getting better at stopping myself when I realize I’m having them – it’s easy to get caught up with them, even if I know they aren’t true. Poetry helps. I think it’s why… Deceit was able to trick me so easily. It’s like he was able to read my thoughts or something. He just made them stronger, like he was feeding them… I used to think he was just being honest, because he was saying what I was thinking. But if anything… he’s taught me something. He was wrong about me – so the thoughts are wrong, too. I just gotta be, like, mindful of them.”

Roman smiled, “I’m proud of you. It must be really hard, but I think I do understand. I have those thoughts too, sometimes. You got them a lot, huh?”

“All the time.”

“If it helps… you can talk to me whenever they’re getting too overwhelming? Get them all out and then I can tell you how wonderful and lovely and strong you are?”

Virgil thought for a moment, “… I guess. I don’t want you to feel like you’re my diary or something, that’s like… a lot to put on someone.”

“Well… maybe try a real diary?” Roman gasped, “I have some spare journals you can use. I won’t read it – it’ll be just for you. Write down all the bad thoughts you have, and then remind yourself that that’s all they are. Just thoughts. But… if you ever need someone to talk to, you can always come to me. Or Patton. Or Logan. Sound good?”

“… Sounds great.”

“Are you going to doodle my name in the corner of each page?”

“Sure. How do you spell-”

“Don’t you dare.” Roman smirked, grabbing his wrists, “I’ll tickle you again.”

“You’re evil!”

“But you love me?”

“…”

“Saaay it?”

Virgil sighed dramatically, “… I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“Right now, you probably do.”

“Alright, that does it.”

“No!!”

“Told you I’d tickle you.”

“You’re the woooorst!”


	29. The Future

Eventually, Virgil had to return to his own room. For one thing, he had to shower and change his clothes – for another, he _desperately_ needed to talk to Patton.

Once showered, Virgil rapped on the door and pushed it open. Strangely, Patton was still asleep, wrapped up in his covers. Virgil checked his watch – it was almost three in the afternoon.

“Patton?”

“Mm… hm?” Patton snorted awake, glasses hanging off his face, “I… woah… what time is it?”

“It’s three.” Virgil sat down on the end of his bed, “You’ve been asleep all day?”

“I guess…” He pushed himself up, rubbing his eyes with a yawn, “I didn’t get to bed until about… seven in the morning?” Patton laughed, “Thanks for waking me up! Gotta get my body-clock back to normal!”

Virgil raised a brow, “How come you got to bed so late?”

Patton smiled, “Well… after prom, Logan and I went to his mind palace to talk for a while. Then… well, we went into the courtyard and looked at the stars. Logan knows all about them – he told me about the constellations and all their names and the stories behind them! Then we watched the sun come up… then he walked me back here!”

“Wow. You were up all night with Logan?”

“Yeah…” Patton looked away, his eyes glossy and his cheeks pink, “it was amazing. I really, really do love him, you know? Like – properly really. He’s so smart, and he’s really patient when I don’t know as much as him. I trust him. It’s like… he keeps me grounded when I get carried away or lost, b-but sometimes he gets a bit too serious about stuff. He’s learning to loosen up about stuff, and I’m always there to help him! Like when he’s stressed about all his clubs… I know he wants to get back into the top class for maths, but his mental health is just as important. We have a rule where when I tell him to go take a break, he has to do it! Roman has started doing it too, but he doesn’t always listen to him.”

Virgil grinned, “You guys are perfect together.”

Patton laughed, “Roman said we bring out the best in each other, a-and that we’re different but… we compliment each other? Like ying and yang, or a coin!”

“… A coin?”

“Two sides!”

“Oh, yeah.” Virgil nodded, “Yeah – you’re good for each other.”

Patton leaned against him, “I’m happy you think so! You’re my best friend, Virgil. It… it means a lot to me that you, you know… approve of us?”

Virgil snorted, “You don’t need my approval! I’m your friend. If you’re happy, I’m happy. Logan’s a good guy… I can tell he’s crazy about you, too.”

“He’s going to meet my family during summer!” Patton paused, “Wait… where were you all night?”

“Uh…” Virgil felt his cheeks start to burn, “… um…”

Patton shuffled over and rested his head on Virgil’s shoulder, grinning knowingly, “Virgil?”

“… Yeah?”

Patton wiggled his eyebrows.

“Stop it.”

Patton wiggled them faster.

“My lips are sealed.”

“Okay…”

“… Alright!” Virgil sighed, “I… spent the night in Roman’s room.”

Patton bit his lower lip to stop himself smiling, “Oh? What did you get up to?”

“… Stuff.”

“Oh!” Patton nodded, “Stuff, huh?”

“Yep.”

“… Did you use protection?”

“ _Patton!!_ ”

“What?!” Patton shrugged, “It’s important!”

“Ugh… well, yeah, we did.” Virgil nudged him off, “… Both times.”

Patton clapped excitedly, “Oh, my gosh!! I’m so happy for you!! How was it? Were you scared? Was Roman scared? How did it happen?”

“Which one do you want me to answer first?”

“… Last one!”

Virgil sighed, moving over to his own bed. “After you guys went back to prom… Roman and I hung out in the courtyard for a while.”

“… You did it in the c-”

“No! We just danced for a while… then I asked if we could go back to his, and… well…”

Patton’s eyes were sparkling, “You guys danced? Oh, that’s so romantic!!”

“Well, you can’t spell Romance without Roman…”

Patton blinked, “… Oh, yeah! That’s true!!”

“How did you not realize that before? You’re the king of puns!”

“I’m ashamed!” Patton sighed, “I have failed you!”

“Alright, don’t be dramatic. That’s Roman’s job.”

“So, were you scared?”

“Kinda.” Virgil shrugged, “I mean, I’m scared by almost everything. I was nervous, but Roman was too. He said we could take it slow – he let me initiate everything. Plus…” he smirked, “… it was kinda amazing.”

“Wow…” Patton laughed, “I always heard your first time is like… really bad and embarrassing.”

“Oh, we were both embarrassed. But whenever one of us did something wrong, we just laughed it off. We laughed a lot, actually… it made me less nervous. The first time was… pretty awkward. Roman knew what we were doing, but I didn’t – a lot of it was him guiding me through everything. The second time was… much better.”

“Well, it sounds perfect!”

“… It was, actually. I mean… I trust Roman, and I do love him… and I felt really safe the whole time. I suppose not everyone is so lucky, huh?” He coughed, “So… you and Logan?”

“What about us?”

“Do you think you’ll ever… or have you?”

“Oh!” Patton blushed, “Well… um…”

“You don’t have to tell me.” Virgil held up his hands, “Sorry, I was just curious.”

“No, it’s alright.” Patton smiled, “Logan and I have, um… spoken about it before.”

“Yeah?”

Patton wet his lips, clasping his hands over his lap, “I… I don’t want to do any of that… b-before I’m married. N-not b-because I’m religious or anything, I just… that’s what I want. It feels best for me. I only want to do that with one person… the one I spend my life with. I know it’s… embarrassing…”

Virgil shook his head, “What? That’s perfectly fine, Pat! You shouldn’t feel embarrassed.”

“… Thank you.” Patton smiled, “There’s people who used to make fun of me for it… say I-I was a prude and stuff…”

“Like Deceit?”

Patton nodded, “But Logan completely understood! I was scared he’d get mad, or frustrated… of course he wouldn’t, he’s not like that. But I was worried… but it’s fine! Logan said h-he wanted the same thing. He said…” Patton had a little smile on his lips, “… we didn’t have to do anything until we got married. _We._ He said we!!”

“Wow. You and Logan talked about that?”

“Sometimes. I know we’re both too young to even think about that… but it’s exciting to think about! He did say he wanted to graduate Columbia before he got married, and I want to have had a job for at least three years first.”

“Oh, yeah. You wanted to teach, didn’t you?”

“Yep.” Patton nodded excitedly, “Intercity kids. I have a cousin who’s a principle in New York, he says there’s always a job for me there! I’ve always wanted to teach history… but, important history. LGBTA+ history, and black history, and women’s history. I think it’s important for kids to know these things.”

Virgil smiled, “You’d be good at that. So… you think you and Logan will go to New York after you graduate?”

“That’s the plan! He and Roman were going to move there anyway, they’re going to be roommates. If we’re still together, maybe I’ll live with them! If not… well, I’ll still go anyway! Because it’s what I want to do.”

“… You guys all want to go to New York, huh?”

“Yeah! The queer community there is so lively, and it’s perfect for all of us! There’s museums and culture, so Logan loves it. Roman wants to be on Broadway. I have family there, and there’s just so many opportunities for me! I hope we can all go together.”

“Wow…” Virgil thought for a moment, “… I remember when I was younger… we learned about New York in school, and I wanted to go. My dad… he said no, obviously. He thinks everyone in New York is a criminal, or… gay. He told me not to even think about it… so I didn’t.”

Patton frowned, “You should! New York would be lucky to have you! People with alternative styles, who like the same music as you… New York is where you can be yourself! You can be who you are!”

“… People like me?”

“Yep. Awesome people!”

Virgil smiled, “S-so, if I wanted to… write poetry and novels… and create art for commission… would New York be the right place for me?”

“Absolutely! Ooh, tell you what!” Patton inched forward, “Even if you and Roman, or Logan and I, aren’t still together after we graduate… you and I will go to New York ourselves!”

“… You’d want to go with me?”

“Of course! You’re my best friend, and the greatest roommate anyone could ask for!!”

“And… if everyone’s still together?”

“Even better!”

“… That sounds perfect.”

Patton cheered, “I can’t wait!!”

Virgil laughed. He’d never really considered what he’d do after graduation before. His dad insisted he’d come work for his company, and even though the idea made Virgil incredibly depressed… it was better than being unemployed. But New York… _of course._ He could find a job – even something in a coffee shop, as long as it gave him time to write and draw. It would be hard – incredibly hard… but it was exciting. It filled him with something he almost couldn’t recognise. Something he hadn’t felt in so long.

_Hope._

And no matter how hard it was – that was something worth pursuing.

“Me neither.”

“We could take a trip during the summer! All of us!”

“… I’d love that.”


	30. The News

“Logan? Are you alright?”

The boy in question was glancing at the door to the dining hall, the piece of toast in his hand remained uneaten twenty minutes after he’d picked it up. He didn’t seem nervous, but rather like he was expecting something. Distracted by something yet to come.

“Hm?” He glanced back at the sound of his name, “Oh, I’m fine. I’m expecting some news soon.”

Roman seemed unconvinced, “What sort of news?”

The students around them chattered and laughed loudly, bent over their breakfast, but Logan still leaned forward and lowered his voice to a whisper, “… Some rather exciting news.”

“Fine, don’t tell us then.” Roman rolled his eyes at Virgil, who smirked back at him. Their hands met under the table; Roman’s fingers tracing the skin of Virgil’s knuckles. It had been several weeks since the night they’d spent together, though many more had followed. But now the smile which used to send sparks through Virgil body now tugged on his heartstrings and made his stomach sink.

Their days left together were numbered… unlike the others, students could not remain at school over Summer break. The boys wouldn’t see each other until late August. To Virgil – who had to go back to his father’s house, Summer may as well be an entire year.

Well, there was that trip to New York he and Patton had been talking about. The others seemed enthusiastic about the idea. The only question was… would Virgil’s father even let him go?

Who cares?

_He’d sneak out if he had to._

“You do seem really distracted, Logan.” Said Patton, sounding a little worried, “Are you sure you’re not worried about something?”

Logan smiled and took the other’s hand, “Don’t worry, Pat. If something was wrong, you would be the first to know.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Okay…” Patton reached over, took the other’s hand, and slowly guided the piece of toast into Logan’s mouth, “then eat!”

“Mmf!” Logan took a bite and pulled the toast from his mouth, “Alright…” he swallowed.

“Hey Logan!!” a voice they didn’t recognise called out from across the hall. The boys looked up to see a guy running towards them, a newspaper in his hands. He looked like someone from the chess club. Or was it the debate team?

“Carl.” Logan smiled at him.

“H-hey…” Carl was out of breath, pushing the paper into Logan’s hands, “have you seen this?!”

“No, I haven’t checked the paper yet.”

“It’s your mother!”

Patton dropped a spoon into his cereal, “What? Is she okay?!”

“Uh, yeah!” Carl spluttered, “She’s famous!”

Logan grinned wider, “Well… I don’t know if I’d say that.”

Virgil blinked, “Your mom’s famous? Wait… I don’t think I know anything about your mom?”

“Oh, I must have failed to mention her occupation. I suppose it never came up.”

Roman tilted his head, “Actually… I don’t believe I know anything about her, either. Is she not an architect like your father?”

“She’s a detective. Vice squad, to be specific.” Logan’s eyes were scanning over the paper, “She was one of the first women to be promoted to Vice in her precinct. A very formidable and inspiring woman – I suppose it would explain my love of detective stories.”

“Woah.” Virgil couldn’t believe it, “How come you never mentioned her before?”

“I’m sorry, have I developed a reputation as someone who shares every detail of their lives? If so, do forgive me.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, “Whatever. How come she’s in the paper?”

“It’s a remarkable story.” Logan handed it over, “A member of the public anonymously submitted some incriminating evidence regarding a rather influential businessman. He's been running a variety of crooked businesses on the side. Drug smuggling, drug production, prostitution… the list is endless. This man had been running these operations for years, either unnoticed or able to buy his way out of trouble. I suppose all it needed was the right person to crack the case… and just the right amount of irrefutable evidence.”

Virgil glanced at the paper in his hand, handing it to Roman so he could take a look. “Is the guy going to jail?”

“Oh, most definitely. His many homes and businesses have been raided. It was the city’s biggest bust.”

Carl was jumping excitedly, “Your mother’s a hero, Logan! Well – I just had to tell you. See you at Algebra club!”

“Bye, Carl.”

Suddenly, Roman dropped the paper onto the table. He went very still, but his hands were shaking.

Virgil touched his arm, “Roman? Roman, what’s wrong?”

Roman pointed at the paper – his finger lingering over a photo of a man. The man looked uncomfortably familiar.

“Who’s th… wait…” Virgil looked up, heart hammering in his throat, “… no way.”

“I can’t… believe it…” Roman breathed, staring at Logan, “… what on earth did you do?!”

Logan shrugged, “I’m unsure what you mean. In any case, anything I have or haven’t done should not be discussed here with so many… witnesses. The mind palace will not do – as we have learned, there may still be security cameras I have yet to deactivate. Meet me in the northern courtyard in ten minutes. All of you. Make sure you’re not followed.”

With that, Logan stood up, kissed Patton on the cheek, and walked away – leaving the others unable to do more than stare dumbfounded at his back.

 

“You were not followed?”

“No.” Virgil sighed, “Logan, what’s going on?”

Logan glanced behind them, then behind himself, then up at the sky. “Alright.” He nodded, “I owe each of you an explanation. You may have noticed I have been spending more time away from school, as of late?”

Virgil and Roman shared a look.

Neither had noticed.

“Well, yes!” Patton raised a hand, “You said you were visiting your father?”

“I did say that.” Logan closed his eyes for a moment, “I am sorry for not telling you the truth, Patton. I did not want to involve you – or any of you – in this until it was over and an arrest had been made. Which is why I am telling you now… but I hope you can all forgive me.”

Patton nodded, “I-I will understand, j-just tell me what happened. I’m scared.”

“Please, do not be.” Logan took a deep breath, “You see… I was the one who submitted the evidence to the police.”

“Why?” asked Virgil.

Roman stared at him, “ _Why?!_ ”

“What?”

“That man.” Roman gestured, “Don’t you know who he is?”

“… Wait.” Virgil felt like his head was about to explode, “… No. He wasn’t. Was he?”

“He was.”

Logan smiled, “Deceit’s father will be in prison before school ends.”

“ ** _OH MY GOD!_** ”

“After what Roman told me of his ‘ _side businesses_ ’, I knew something had to be done. I could not stand by after everything Deceit did to me. To my friends. To the one I love. From the sounds of his father – I could not stand by and allow him to continue roaming the streets. He is a dangerous man, who considers himself above the law. It appears most would consider the same, which is far more dangerous. The rest was simple – I merely hacked into his father’s emails, both personal and business. He had many email addresses, and many phone numbers too. Those were slightly harder to hack into, but I managed to record all I needed.”

Virgil shook his head slowly, “I… holy shit. How?!”

“The less you know the better.” Logan shrugged, “Plus, the process is actually rather complex in nature, it would take several hours to explain. The long and the short of it is… I gathered the evidence, I submitted it via post from a mailbox out of state… after cleaning my fingerprints from the package with gasoline, of course. The rest you can read about in the paper.” He smirked, “I knew my mother would not be afraid to go after this man, even if she had to go over her captain’s head.”

Roman was spellbound, but his smile was wide, “He’s… he’s gone? Logan… I-I…”

“Well, there may be some complications for the academy. Deceit’s father will have his assets seized, so the school will lose his donations.” Logan crossed his arms, “But this academy has bounced back from worse – though the same cannot be said for Deceit. Without his father’s money, he is nothing more than… a student. Like the rest of us.”

“… You took away his defence.” Roman had found his ability to speak, if quietly, “Y-you took away his safety net, his protection. His armour!”

“I suppose. I told you he would not get away with what he did.”

“W-what about his tuition?”

Logan shrugged, “Well, he will not be returning next year – I am sure of it. We may have to deal with him for the next few weeks, but there is no need to worry. He is hated by teachers and students alike, all of which have been longing to see him expelled at last. One foot out of place… and that’s the last we’ll see of him.”

Virgil felt panic returning to his chest, “He… is going to be _so_ pissed at you.”

“He has no proof of my involvement. Plus, my mother did not take my father’s last name, so he may not even be able to link her to me. Besides…” Logan smirked, “… what’s he going to do about it?”

Suddenly, Patton lurched forward and threw his arms around Logan. Catching him, Logan began to laugh, “Woah. You almost knocked me over.”

“He’s r-really going to be gone?!” Patton sounded tearful.

Logan rubbed his back, “Yes. He won’t be able to hurt you anymore. None of us.”

“Y-you’ll be able to go back to the top maths class!”

“Huh. I actually had not considered that. What a marvellous benefit!”

“You’re my hero…”

Logan, cheeks reddening, smiled and closed his eyes, “… Thank you, Patton.”

Virgil turned to Roman.

It was starting to hit him.

“Deceit’s… gone.”

Roman laughed in return, “He’s gone.”

“Holy shit.”

“I know.”

“Like… holy shit!”

“I know!”

“This doesn’t feel real…” Virgil laughed and pulled Roman towards him, wrapping his arms around the other’s waist, “Roman… this doesn’t feel fucking real!”

Roman pressed his lips firmly against the other’s neck, “I’ve… dreamed of this day for so many years. I cannot believe it, either!!”

“Holy shit.”

“Holy shit.”

 

“ ** _ROMAN!! YOU SON OF A DEAD WHORE!!_** ”

 

Any good feelings melted away as Virgil’s blood turned to ice.

“Fuck…”

They broke apart.

Sure enough… there was Deceit.

His shirt was wrinkled and torn, a jacket wrapped loosely around his waist. His normally neat hair was sticking out at all angles, his teeth bared with a snarl. He was shaking. He was angry.

No.

He was _livid_.

In a trembling hand he held a newspaper.

His eyes fixed on Roman.

“You did this…” he hissed, taking a shuddering step forward, “y-you did this, didn’t you?!”

Roman smiled, “Did what? What is he talking about Virgil?”

“I’m not sure…” Virgil winked, “did you copy his homework?”

“Don’t think so… Logan, did I do something?”

Logan feigned a thought, “I cannot recall. Did you steal his hat, per chance? He appears to have misplaced it.”

Deceit walked closer, twitching, “You think you’re so smart and funny, don’t you? You’re behind this, aren’t you?!” he threw the paper in their direction, “AREN’T YOU?! You’ve always been jealous of me – my family was richer than yours, more respected than yours… I had the life you wanted. Y-you couldn’t stand it, could you?!”

“You really believe that, don’t you?” Roman chuckled.

“Don’t you dare laugh at me!!”

“Stop being funny then.”

Deceit snarled, “You think you’ve won? _Pathetic._ You send my father to prison – you take Virgil for yourself – even your little friends over there get to continue their disgusting little ‘ _love_ ’ story. I bet you think you’ve beaten me, haven’t you?” he laughed, humourlessly, “Just like when we were kids… when you almost blinded me with fucking _acid!_ I bet you thought you’d won then, huh?! You thought you’d defeated me?! Ha!!” Deceit began reaching into his pocket, “Let’s see if you’re laughing after I give you a few scars of your own.”

Virgil’s hand impulsively gripped Roman’s shirt, “Whatever you’re gonna do… you’d better not be about to do it.”

Something was hidden within Deceit’s fist.

Something long and silvery, shimmering in the sunlight.

Something sharp.

He took a step forward.

“No.” Virgil jumped in front of Roman, who tried in vain to push him back, “No! Don’t you dare touch him!”

_No no no no no no not now no it was perfect it was all perfect they were going to New York they were going to New York no no no no-_

“Little Virgil… trying to tell _me_ what to do?” Deceit looked like a rabid dog, “Very well… you are long overdue a lesson to be taught-”

“ _What is going on here?!_ ”

The boys – including Deceit – jumped.

The knife fell to the ground with a sharp clang.

It was Virgil and Logan’s math teacher, red in the face.

“I thought I’d heard voices. Are you unaware this courtyard is completely off limits?” he stormed towards them, “Well, some of you I can expect… but Logan? Is this worth sacrificing your penalty-free year over, so close to…” he faltered, his eyes falling onto something laying on the ground. He crossed the courtyard and picket it up, “… _Deceit?_ _What is this?!_ ”

The colour from Deceit’s already pale skin drained away, “… I-it’s… n-not…”

“Principle’s office. Now.”

“S-sir-”

“NOW!!”

Deceit went still. He looked at Roman. He glared at Virgil.

His father’s money couldn’t save him now.

“… _Fuck you._ ”

Virgil, Roman, Patton, and Logan all waved cheerily as the teacher dragged him around the corner and out of sight.

“Do you think that’s the last we’ll see of him?” Virgil asked, gripping hold of Roman’s hand.

“The possession of weapons on school ground is an instant expulsion.” Explained Logan, “So… I expect so, yes.”

“… Wait, how come _we’re_ not in trouble?”

Roman laughed, “That teacher hates Deceit more than any of them. Why would he care about small fry like us?”

“Did you just refer to yourself as small fry?”

“Tell no one!”

“… Wow, I really don’t want to go to gym right now. Do you?”

“Not at all.”

“… Wanna skip it?”

“God, yes.”


	31. See You Soon

_Classes had finished._

Belongings were being packed away, walls stripped of posters and photographs. Some beds were made neatly, others left a mess – but nobody would be sleeping in them tonight. All week parties had been thrown; each one rowdier than the last. There were rumours that fireworks had been set off in the library – the librarian, as she bolted the doors and covered up the windows, refused to comment.

Virgil, Patton, Roman, and Logan chose not to attend these parties. Truthfully – the only people they wanted to spend these last days with were each other.

And the pizza deliveryman.

 

Virgil woke before his alarm, but the sunlight was already streaming into his shared bedroom, giving all his possessions a dusty golden glow. These possessions, mind you, should have been packed away by now – the sun seemed to be reminding him of this. But Virgil couldn’t bare the idea of sleeping beside an empty table, or a bare wall, even for one night. It would only cement the gut-twisting truth that the year was coming to an end, and Virgil would have to return – with his possessions – to his father’s house. Where there would be no walks through the courtyards, no picnics by the pond, no dark auditoriums with out of tune pianos, no art rooms whose air alone would fail a drug test, no roommate, no friends, no Roman.

For _one whole summer._

But he couldn’t put it off any longer… his father would be here in just a few hours.

He had to get up.

He had to pack.

He had to say goodbye.

Pushing himself upright, Virgil glanced over to where his roommate slept. Of course, Virgil did want to spend his last night with Roman… but somehow, he couldn’t do it. He didn’t want to leave Patton to sleep alone – besides, out of everyone he’d met so far… Patton was probably the person he’d miss most. He’d miss the way he told stories about his day, which always he could always give a positive meaning to, no matter how terrible it had been. He’d miss the cakes he brought back from home economics. He’d miss the way he talked nonsense in his sleep, and he’d miss trying to decipher what the hell he was dreaming about?

Besides – he and Roman would still be together come next term. But Patton most likely wouldn’t be his roommate again. This could well have been the last night they’d spend together. But, by god, did they make it a good one. Patton had baked a cake and brought snacks, they watched movies, reminiscing over the school year.

It must have been three am before they finally fell asleep, but Patton was already awake, too. He was sitting upright – hugging his knees to his chest. His cheeks were shiny and flushed, his eyelashes sticking together.

He’d been crying.

“Pat?” Virgil croaked, clearing his throat, “What’s the matter?”

“Oh!” Patton jumped, wiping his cheeks, “Oh, it’s nothing… no… it’s something.” He gave a little sigh, “I’m sorry. I’m just… sad.”

“About what?” Virgil climbed out of bed and crossed the room, sitting down on the others.

“Just leaving.” Patton shrugged, “I’m sad about… not getting to see you guys every day. I’m sad about being so far away from Logan, even though I knew he’s going to come visit. B-but…” his voice broke, a fresh tear rolling down onto the covers, “I-I’m mostly sad b-because… w-we won’t be roomies, anymore.”

Virgil smiled sadly, “I know. I’m sad too.”

“You’re my favourite roommate, the best I ever had!”

Virgil raised a brow, “Wasn’t Logan your roommate one time?”

“Yeeeah… but we didn’t know each other that well. He was super quiet and didn’t really talk to me, or anyone. He only came out of his shell last year. But you’re my best friend… I got to live with my best friend! I’m the luckiest guy in school! Or… I was…”

“Hey…” Virgil shuffled over and sat beside him, “I’ll always be your best friend. No matter what happens next year. Even if my next roommate is Pete Wentz, you’ll have been my favourite.”

Patton laughed, then sniffed, “B-but what if we’re not? What if everything changes? What if we stop hanging out as much, o-or things happen, or people break up a-and it’s too awkward, and... and everything’s different. What if… we graduate and… I have to go to New York by myself.”

“I won’t let that happen.” Virgil nodded, “Even if we all break up, you’re not getting rid of me that easily. Face it, Pat, you’re stuck with me. And if you try and go to New York without me…” he winked, “I’ll find out where you live, break the door down, and elect myself your roommate!”

Patton laughed again, louder this time, “Just give me a heads up, I’ll bake cookies.”

“You got it.” Virgil smiled, “So… yeah, I probably won’t be your roommate next year. But I will be the year after, when we go to New York. Plus, if you and Logan, and Roman and I break up – we’ll just marry each other for the tax benefits.”

“Deal!” Patton giggled, “… You don’t really think we’ll all break up though, do you?”

“You and Logan? Nah.” Virgil smiled, “You guys are, like, destined to be together.”

“What about you and Roman?”

Virgil sighed, “I don’t want us to. I know it’s like, a high school romance and all that, so the odds are we’ll probably break up. But… I don’t want to. I know Roman doesn’t want to, either. I love him. I honestly, truly love him – and I know people will say it’s not real because we’re too young. Maybe they’re right… but if it’s not real yet, it will be some day. All I know right now is that… I fucking love him, and I’m prepared to fight for what we have. I’ll fight time itself if I have to. But I’m not giving up what Roman and I have. But… if we did break up…” his heart ached at the thought, “… so be it. I won’t hold him back. But if he’s willing to fight, like I know I am… I’d be happy to spend my entire life with him.”

Patton had started crying again, “… I really think you guys **won’t** break up. Ever. I’ve seen a lot of high school romance in my time here… heck, I’ve seen Roman have them. But you guys are different. What you have is special, it’s as unique as the two of you. You’re both amazing, and together you make one super amazing fusion of awesome! In fact – I would bet every penny I ever make that this time next year… we’ll all be renting one huge apartment together! Two bedrooms, a-and we’ll save tons on rent because there’s four of us! W-we can have double date nights, a-and movie nights, and get up t-to have breakfast together, and maybe get a cat!”

“You’re allergic to cats.”

“Get a dog!”

“I don’t think apartments let you have d-”

“Get a goldfish!”

“… Alright. What will we name him?”

“… Sir Squiggles!”

“Nice.”

“The brave!”

“Hell yeah. The bravest goldfish there ever was.”

The boys laughed, leaning against each other.

“… What was I thinking?” Patton dried his eyes, “Thinking we weren’t going to be friends? I just get nervous about things, sometimes. Like… I can get fixated on the worst-case scenarios, and I focus so much on how awful it would be that I forget to think about how unlikely or impossible it is!”

“I do the same thing… I understand.” Virgil sighed, “You’re speaking to the king of anxiety, irrationality, and overthinking, buddy.”

“Wow, you’re the king of a lot of things!”

“Yep. I’m a busy guy.”

“What am I the king of?”

“Hm… friendship bracelets.”

“Yay!!”

“Ugh… wanna help me pack?”

“Sure.” Patton went to stand, then paused, “… Virgil?”

“Mhm?”

“… Maybe you don’t have to go home to your father all summer.”

“What do you mean?”

Patton grinned, “Well… why don’t you spend some time there… then spend the rest of the summer with my family!”

Virgil spluttered, “… A-are you serious?”

“Yes!! My brothers used to bring back friends all the time, and my parents let them stay for the whole summer! If I ask, I know they’ll say yes!! A-and Logan and Roman can come visit, a-and then we can all go to New York together!! How does that sound?!”

Virgil felt himself start to shake, “Are you sure?!”

“YES!!”

“… That sounds… perfect!”

Patton cheered, jumping out of bed, “Yes!! Well, we’d better get you packed up! But just remember… you’re only making a pit stop at your dad’s place. Then, I’ll come get you and your real summer can begin!”

“Patton…” Virgil laughed, “… thank you, so much.”

“No problem, roomie!”

The boys spent the next hour packing away Virgil’s belongings, making long, detailed plans about what they would do that summer. City trips, picnics, theme parks, beach days, or just sit around and play video games. The more they talked about it, the less Virgil started to notice how empty the room felt without their things in it.

Soon, everything was packed away into Virgil’s duffel bag. There was nothing on the walls. It didn’t even look like their room anymore… but Virgil knew it always would be. No matter where they went from here, this room held a special place in both their hearts. In some way… wherever they went next, the room would come with them.

It wasn’t about the walls or the beds or the tables or even the decorations. It was the people who lived there. Two unlikely friends, who overcame so much together, but never let anything break them apart. Love triangles, evil exes… they were stronger than all of it.

Virgil knew deep in his heart that Patton and he could survive anything.

No matter where they went.

They were friends for life.

 

Breakfast would not be served that day. Any students who hadn’t left when class ended would be getting picked up soon. Virgil swung the bag onto his shoulder, looking over at Patton, who was holding a large carboard box.

“I have an idea!” Said Patton, looking a bit out of breath, “I think we should each get to say goodbye to each other, a-and then we’ll meet up for one big goodbye before we leave! L-Logan and Roman have already done theirs. Roman cried!”

“Sounds like a plan.” Nodded Virgil, “But… it’s not really goodbye. It’s more… see you soon.”

Patton laughed, “You’re right. How about you say see you soon to Logan first, and I’ll go see Roman. Then we’ll swap, and then meet in the western courtyard.”

“Like it. See you there.”

“See you soon!!”

 

Virgil had shot Logan a quick text. He was cleaning out his mind palace, grabbing anything he’d need to take home with him. Virgil hurried down and rapped on the door, letting himself in.

Logan was studying his bookcase, a hand on his chin, only glancing at the figure in the doorway, “Virgil, would you be able to assist me with something?”

“Depends what it is.”

“I cannot decide which book to take. There are many I have not yet read.”

Virgil dropped the bag and walked over, “You’re only taking one?”

“Well, I have books at home.” Logan gestured his hand, “Plus, I understand we will be quite busy this summer, I may not have as much time to read as I normally would. Therefore – I am limiting myself to one, but it must be a good one. I trust your judgement – please, pick.”

Virgil blinked, “No pressure, huh?”

“I can always disagree with your choice.”

“… I guess… hm…” Virgil’s eyes scanned the shelves, “… that one.” He pointed to one at random.

Logan nodded, reaching up to slip it from the shelf. Without looking at the cover, he shoved it into his bag.

“… Did I pick well?”

“I’m unsure.” Logan shrugged, “I’ve decided to have more faith in others. Therefore, I will not know what book you have chosen until I am ready to read it.”

“I… sorta picked it at random.”

“Hm. In that case, I’ve now decided to have more faith in fate.” Logan winked, “I’m sure you picked well, regardless. So,” Logan crossed the room and sat down on the couch – Virgil followed, “I understand you will be staying at Patton’s over the summer. He texted me before you arrived – he’s very excited.”

“Yeah, me too…” Virgil nodded, “… are you worried?”

Logan snorted, “Of you? Humorous. The opposite – I am thrilled. I believe you are a great influence on Patton, and a true friend to him. I know you can be there for him when I cannot and support him when he needs it. I also believe that Patton is a great friend to you, and he will make you feel at home with his family. Your father sounds like a terrible person to be around… from what you’ve told me, it sounds like your family worsens your mental health. I’ve seen how anxious you were over the idea of going back there. Besides, I look forward to visiting you both.”

“Oh.” Virgil smiled, “Well… when you come visit, I promise not to get in your way. I’m sure you guys will want some alone time to… kiss and do fractions, or whatever you do for fun.”

Logan smirked a little, “I will want to spend time with you, as well. We may have kissed once, but you are my friend. A very important friend. You…” Logan tapped the arm of the couch, “… you are a good influence on all those around you. Including myself. I am not the same person I was when we met, and this is a good thing. A good relationship, whether with a friend or lover, should always change you for the better, even if just a little bit. As humans, we are always growing – those we choose to surround ourselves with shape us into what we become, in a way unique to each person. We may not have known each other long, but I believe you have helped me in this respect. This is not to say that you _changed_ me, perhaps this was a poor choice of words. But rather… you helped me to grow into the person I am, and I am very grateful. I suppose… I can only hope I have had a similar influence on yourself. Though… I believe I could have been a better friend.”

Virgil stared at him, “… What are you talking about?”

“I had been struggling with my own problems for quite some time – such as my feelings for Patton. I took this out on you… I made them your problems. It’s as though you were a lightning rod, absorbing the effects of my own turmoil. This was unfair, and not how friends should be treated. This is… why I always tried to keep my feelings and emotions in check and… under control. I failed this and ended up confusing you in the process.”

“… Explains why you wanted to be a robot.”

“Yes…”

“Well, maybe that was your problem.” Virgil sat up, “You were living in such denial you didn’t even know what you were denying. It’s not healthy. You know I forgive you, and I understand, but… hey, you like learning. Think of this as a learning experience. Don’t bottle up and ignore your feelings, it just makes things complicated and worse. You’re allowed to feel things, it doesn’t make you weak. You’re even allowed to make mistakes. How else would you grow and learn?”

“Hm.” Logan blinked, “… You’re right. I must say – you are smart, Virgil. It’s hard to believe you once thought of yourself as stupid. Personally, I think you may even be smarter than I am.”

“Really?”

“… In some ways. Good ways. You have a brilliant mind, Virgil. Never doubt this.”

“I’ll try.” Virgil smiled, “And… hey. Don’t worry about the kiss. If anything, it was a good thing. It helped us both to realize who we really should have been with. Even though some of us-” he nudged his leg, “-should have realized it sooner.”

“Yes, I know.” Logan nudged him back, “Well… all’s well that ends well. I’m glad we’re still friends.”

“Me too. Who knew all you needed to do to make friends was… teach each other math and poetry, kiss once, put a crime boss in jail, and date other people.”

Logan chuckled, “Who knew indeed.”

“You were a good friend, though.” Virgil shrugged, “Despite what you said before, you offered me help when I needed it many times, not for selfish reasons. You tutored me. You offered me a safe space. You even read my poetry for me. You’ve been a great friend to all of us, and… you shouldn’t think otherwise. If I can’t doubt I’m smart, you can’t doubt that you’re an awesome friend. Deal?”

“Hmf… deal.”

They shook on it.

“Oh, I almost forgot…” Virgil reached into his bag and pulled out the copy of Complete Poems, “… I was going to return this to you.”

Logan shook his head, “Keep it. It’s yours now – consider it a gift.”

“Oh. Alright.” Virgil put it away, “I… don’t have anything for you.”

“Allow me to keep your notebook a while longer.” Logan glanced away, “I… wish to write poetry of my own. Your style struck a chord in me, and I wish to study it further.”

“Wow. Alright.” Virgil laughed, “Um… do you think that… I could be published someday?”

“Absolutely.” Logan nodded firmly, “Plus, when your published works become bestsellers, this notebook will be worth quite a bit of money.”

“Hey!”

Logan smirked, “That was a joke.”

Virgil scowled playfully, “I preferred it when you didn’t make jokes.”

“How unfortunate.”

“… I’ll miss ya, Logan.”

“I shall miss you too, Virgil.”

They stood up.

Logan offered Virgil his hand… but Virgil didn’t shake it.

Instead, he grabbed his wrist and pulled him into a hug.

Logan was stunned at first, but quickly accepted.

He still smelled like coffee.

“I’ll see you in New York.”

“I am deeply looking forward to it.”

 

There was only one person left.

Roman.

_Roman…_

_… dammit._

 

This wasn’t going to be easy.

 

Roman was waiting for him in the eastern courtyard. Virgil thought back to that night, all those months ago, where they were supposed to meet right here at midnight. But this time – Deceit wasn’t around to get in the way. Nobody was there to try and sabotage them. There was nothing to stop Virgil walking up behind Roman and sliding his hands around his waist, pressing his forehead against the others back.

Roman chuckled, “Who’s there?”

“Me.” Virgil’s voice was muffled by Roman’s shirt.

“Ah, Gregory Mi, I was wondering when you would show up! Quick, lets run away before my boyfriend gets here!”

Virgil laughed, “Gregory is a whore.”

“Yes, but our love is pure!” Roman shuffled around until he could kiss the top of Virgil’s head, “Oh, it’s you! Well, now you know about my secret husband, Jeremy.”

“I thought it was Gregory.”

“Damn… you caught me again,” Roman sighed, “I have seven different husbands, Virgil. All their names begin with a G or a J – that’s my fetish.”

“Boo.” Virgil smirked, “Well, my name does have a G in it.”

“Ah, perfect. Must explain why I love you so much.”

“Wanna know my fetish?”

“Always.”

“Shaved heads.”

“Uh…”

“And eyebrows. All of it.”

“Well, looks like we’ll have to break up.”

“Ah, well. We had a good run.”

“You can have one of my husbands, as a parting gift?”

“I want Jeremy.”

“No. He’s my favourite. You can have George.”

“George sucks!”

“You suck.” Roman took Virgil’s face in his hands, leaning in to kiss him deeply, “… Fuck…” he mumbled against the other’s lips, “… I’m going to miss you…”

“… We didn’t really break up, did we?”

Roman laughed, “No. I just… I’ve gotten so used to seeing you every day. It’s going to be so strange without you.” His fingers moved to play with the ends of Virgil’s hair, “I’ll miss your eyes, and your cool makeup, and the way you call me an idiot, and how your lips feel… even now, as I’m holding you in my arms, I miss you. I miss you and you’re right here! What’s wrong with me?”

“You’re a romantic.” Virgil smiled, nuzzling against the other’s shoulder, “I miss you too. I will miss you. Can’t you come stay with Patton and me all summer?”

“That would be wonderful, but…” Roman smiled, “… I want to try and reconnect with my father. We used to have a better relationship, before my mother died. I want to try and get this back, or at least make a start.”

“Really? That’s awesome!”

“Well, we’ll see how it goes.” Roman rubbed Virgil’s back, “I’ll still come and visit, and we’ll have that wonderful trip to New York. But… lord, will I miss you so much.”

“… Roman?”

“Yes?”

“I know that… most high school romances don’t last past graduation, or they get married and divorced. I know that people will look at us and think this isn’t real. But… we’re not like most high school romances, are we? Do you think… maybe… we could last?”

Roman smiled, brushing some stray hairs from Virgil’s eyes, “How long?”

“… Forever.”

“Yes. And even longer than that.”

Virgil felt warmth spreading from his chest to his fingers, then through his whole body, “Alright… that’s enough being soppy, now. Do you think we have time to… maybe..?”

Roman winked, “There’s a supply closet not too far from here.”

“Let’s go.”

 

The gang came together in the western courtyard.

Logan and Patton were holding hands and exchanging kisses.

Roman and Virgil were holding each other by the waist, exchanging guilty looks.

“Well… here we are.” Smiled Patton, who’s eyes were starting to tear up again.

“It won’t be for long.” Logan assured him, “We’ll be back together before we know it.”

“I’m going to miss all of you.” Sighed Roman, “Nobody is allowed to have any fun if we’re not together, okay?”

“Okay, Roman.” Laughed Virgil, “No fun allowed.”

A car pulled up.

“That’s me.” Logan looked to each of them, “Until we meet again.”

He leaned over and gave Patton a long, lingering kiss, before walking towards the car. He turned back, waved, and climbed inside.

Then he was gone.

Patton started crying again.

“You’ll see him in a few weeks.” Virgil patted his arm.

“I know, but still…” he laughed, drying his eyes, “I can’t wait for you to come to mine! It’s going to be amazing!!”

“It really is.”

The next car arrived.

“Oh…” Patton sniffed, “looks like it’s my turn.” He leapt forward and pulled Virgil and Roman into a tight hug, “I’ll miss you guys! I’ll see you so soon! A-and we’ll all skype, won’t we?”

“Y-yes, now please stop choking me!” wheezed Roman.

“Sorry!” Patton let go. “Well… see you soon!!”

He ran towards the car, waving as he went, and jumped into the back. As the car drove away, Patton continued to shout his goodbyes through the window.

When he was out of sight, Roman and Virgil turned to each other.

“So…”

“So.” Virgil reached over and took Logan’s hands, “… What are we playing at?” he laughed, “It’s not going to be that long! Why are we acting like we’ll never see each other again?”

Roman shrugged, “We’re teenagers. We’re dramatic. Some more than others.”

“… I guess it sucks that this year is over. This has been… the best year of my life.”

“Well…” Roman kissed his forehead, “we’ll just have to make sure next year is even better. And the year after that… when we’re all in New York.”

“I can’t wait to see your first Broadway show.”

“I can’t wait to see your first art show. Or read your first novel.”

“I can’t wait until I can see you naked again…”

Roman winked, “Snapchat exists for a reason, my dear.”

“Oh, yeah.” Virgil blushed, “Not the same, though…”

“I know.”

A car pulled up.

A car, covered in stains and dents.

Virgil sighed, “This is me…”

Roman let go, “… I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Virgil glanced over at the car, “One last thing…” rising onto his tiptoes, Virgil planted a kiss right onto Roman’s lips. “… until next time?”

“Until then.”

Virgil felt his heart aching with every step towards the car. He turned back and saw Roman smiling at him.

He thought about going to stay with Patton.

He thought about New York.

The future.

Everything they had to look forward to and more.

Suddenly, Virgil didn’t feel so scared.

_He knew he’d be home soon…_

_Now he knew where he belonged._

_Nobody could take that away from him._

_And they never would…_

**_The End_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dearest reader,
> 
> Thank you. To all of you who have left such kind and wonderful comments on this fic. To all of you who left a kudos. To all of you who’ve reached out and become my friend. 
> 
> I started this story as a means to escape from my own life, which is not the best it could be right now. But, oh my goodness. This story has become something incredibly special to me. Many of you have talked about how I’m able to upload to quickly? It’s because of you. All of you. Your words lit a fire of passion inside me, and every day I’m so excited to come home and write more for you. If I’m not writing, I’m thinking about this story and what I can do next.
> 
> It became so much more than a fanfiction. It became this beacon of light in my life, when everything else felt so dark and empty. The more I wrote and the more I read – the brighter and brighter the light became. I want to give some of the light back. I wish I could do so much more. But just knowing that this self-indulgent idea of mine has become special to any of you is wonderful. I read the comments when I’m having bad days and they always make me smile, no matter how many times I’ve read them.
> 
> I’m thankful to Thomas Sanders and Co, for creating such wonderful characters. I fell in love with all of them, and I’m so happy I could borrow them for a while and create something of my own. Think of this as a tribute to them and everything they’ve done for me – for the list is endless.
> 
> My heart is actually breaking a little as I write this, I'm so lame!! I can’t believe we’ve come to the end of this story. It’s barely been a few weeks, but so much has changed. I feel passionate again. I have new friends. I feel a sense of purpose. Maybe my writing doesn’t have to be groundbreaking, or even stand the test of time – but if I can create stories which make someone out there smile, cry, scream, or get excited... then by God have I done something right. I’ve had an impact; a small one, but a powerful one nonetheless. Hell, even if it’s just a fanfiction. If I can create something which makes someone happy… I’ve done well.
> 
> From reading your comments, I can see that this story has had an effect in different ways. Many of you talk about the relationships between the characters. Their friendships. The way they support each other, help each other, and help to carry each other’s burdens. Many of you have identified with Patton – being unable to ask for help, afraid to show signs of suffering. Well – me too. 
> 
> I want to leave you with this message. You are never alone. Even if you feel like nobody would notice if you weren’t there, even when there’s so many thoughts in your head and nobody around to listen – you’re never alone. Because you are part of something great. You are something great. And if any of you need someone to talk to, or even someone to listen, I promise you – there’s someone out there ready to do exactly that.
> 
> You just have to let them.
> 
> I started a server for fans of Thomas Sanders. I’ve had the pleasure of becoming friends with some incredible people. I’m honoured that I can be there for them… and they are there for each other, too. If you would like to join, well... we'd love to be there for you: https://discord.gg/8XanACg
> 
> I will sign off this letter with a quote from a musical I’m sure you’re all familiar with. And once again – thank you. From the bottom of my heart, and the deepest depths of my soul. 
> 
> "Even when the dark comes crashing through, when you need a friend to carry you, and when you’re broken on the ground  
> You will be found  
> So let the sun come streaming in, 'cause you’ll reach up and you’ll rise again  
> Lift your head and look around  
> You will be found"
> 
> I’ll see you in the next project.
> 
> All my love,
> 
> Darcy Lovette x


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